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People look at hashrate to determine network health and not so much at node population and distribution, but both are essential.
(Text in brackets added by me to indicate what I understood you to be saying.) Agreed.
We lose nodes per hashrate, which is bad and leads to (or rather continues the practice of) miners selling their votes to node operators, but I don't see how we lose hashrate, we just centralize control of hashrate to amortize node maintenance costs (still bad).
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We don't know how it will play out, its uncharted territory. #3 is more about not creating a perverse incentive to unbalance this that doesn't materialize until the distant future than about encouraging compensation through artificial constrain on supply.
So long as the grandma-cap can be maintained, it seems like all of your discussion would already be covered. The hope has always been that new techniques (IBLT, tx pruning, UTXO commitments, etc.) will keep this possible.
However there is no way to see into the distant future. Any chosen grandma-cap could be incorrect, and any cap more restrictive than that to meet #3 could also be incorrect. I don't disagree that #3 is desirable, only that it may not be implementable. Having said that, as long as a more restrictive cap has little to no chance of interfering with #2 (never prevent a miner from including a legitimate tx), I'd have no problem with it.
TL;DR - This goal implies the "only permit an exponential increase in the max blocksize during periods of demand" rule in your initial example, correct?