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Topic: Introducing AL's Escrow Service, where we pay you up to 10% to use. - page 2. (Read 1161 times)

newbie
Activity: 5
Merit: 0
I look forward to using.
full member
Activity: 205
Merit: 100
The Future Of Work
Firstly, allow me to introduce myself. My real name is AL (stylized), and my uncle owns an alpaca farm - FOR REAL! I purchased this account from Bruno - FOR REAL!

Before I get into the particulars of AL's Escrow Service, allow me to offer up proof as to why you should trust me: Because I've been entrusted by other people from the around the world to do stuff for them since 2009.

About AL's Escrow Service:

There are no fees of any kind. In fact, we pay you up to 10% for using AL's Escrow Service. The more you entrust me to hold as acting escrow, the higher your reward. Also, the percentages go up the longer I hold your money. No, this is not a Ponzi because it's not predicated on how much money is on account or needing more folks to enroll to take advantage of this truly amazing service. As Bruno would say, I'm sure, I'm jacking off all over myself just thinking about how amazing this is, and taken aback to see that nobody has ever offered up such a wonderful service until now.

TO BE CLEAR, this is not a service that others are allowed to take advantage of outside escrowing, e.g., giving me X bitcoins for the sole purpose of profiting. This is strictly for those seeking a third party person thingy to hold moneys between two parties, a buyer and seller of a product or service. THAT IS ALL! If I catch anybody using this service then what it was designed for, then 100% of their moneys held will be immediately returned to them sans a single satoshi of reward, and will no longer be allowed to use AL's Escrow Service.

To attract my first users, for a limited time I will pay 20% to those having me hold for them $10,000 or more for at least 30 days; A flat 10% across the board for all other moneys held regardless for how long.

Please consider using AL's Escrow Service for all your escrow needs.

FAQ:

Q: Is your name really Al?
A: FOR REAL! And you can call me AL.

Q: Who receives the up-to 10% rewardment?
A: The party deemed having the most at stake between the buyer and seller et al.

Q: How do we know that you really purchased Al the Alpaca from Bruno?
A: The blockchain doesn't lie where the proof resides.

Q: Will you escrow all cryptocurrencies?
A: What do you mean by "all"?
Q: What do you mean by "What do I mean?"?
A: Ah, I see! The answer is yes I will. If I have to, I'll use Cryptsy to convert to bitcoins.

Q: What about Horus?
A: 24/7 if need be. Simply call me on my phone that'll be on my person at all times, even while taking a shower or having sex with somebody's wife from the lodge.
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