Topic: It's over 4 months and you no wan leave? - page 2. (Read 249 times)

TBH, there is no word in this context that sounds polite especially when it has to do with relatives, if you tell her you will be in her mind forever. it will be interpreted as you chased her and daughter put of your house, basically if the house is your dad's and she's you dad's sis then you're in a very confused state now. but the only thing isa you can keep hiding it must tell her.
Don't be positive when approaching her because it might end up the wrong way so just keep in mind that you're gonna bear a bad name in the main time but will surely end one day.

Just kidding; you can plan a vacation with your fiancé to travel for like a week but dip down you guys aren't going no where when they see that the person providing is about to travel then they will plan to leave before you leave for your travel then you have succeeded.

It is never possible for us to entice or please everyone that comes our way, at least you can proudly beat your chest of having done according to your capabilities. It is no big joke or easy to shelter and feed extra considering the Nigerian economy on how difficult It is. You just have to spill it out more politely, don't beat round the bush just go straight to the point and avoid longer explanations.

My broda if the house nah your own and nah you and your woman dy battle for the expenses alone and as thing con hard reach, I no sure say any word wey dy as POLITE WORD as e be so. Talk to your aunty as e dy you for body but no raise voice like pepper body oh and no look her for eyes as you dey talk, las las them go say you be wicked person wey no want family member to come stay for your house, eh we gree "Aunty you know how things be and my power no too reach to dy cover for all of us, I no know when una plan to leave because as e be now the privacy of me and my woman is needed and things too don go high plus money no too dy come, so how una wan do this one, like when una chose to go back since e don tey una dy here"
Just tell them at least you don pass the message instead of to use indirect way, that one go be as if you rude, which I know say no be true... Use that line no shame or fear e go work out.
You know say some people no know their boundaries until you tell them.

this topic would have been better discussed at the economy section of the forum but since you've brought it here, let me tell you what I would have done if I'm in your shoe.

First off, you are at a very tight corner now considering the fact that you can't directly tell her to pack out of your house considering the kind of society we live in and how difficult it is for extended relative to understand that they have boundaries they shouldn't cross. The thing is never to give them that sense of comfort that will give them the impression that they can even stay long at your place. You can occasionally bring up conversation that suggest that you are asking her when she is going back. If she is wise, she will take the signal seriously but if she is the type that would pretend as though what you're talking isn't making any sense to her, you just look for a good time and talk things through with her. If you tell her that you would want your privacy based on the kind of work you're doing she might understand. If she insist on staying, for your own piece of mind and for you not to carry responsibility that will outweigh you, you can even suggest that you will assist them to look for an accommodations for them so that way you get your space.

No matter how you're close to a relative, the decision to allow them stay permanently with you should be the last thing that should come your mind except you are wealthy and have a space that they can stay in your comment without necessarily interfering with your privacy.

common man. The Nigerian economy is tough, and the way things are going in the country, everyone knows how things will be for everybody, so I am surprised why she is still leaving with you guys for this long just because she came to the wedding. I think she should go back, as now everyone has what is disturbing their house, so for her to stay for such a long period of time is too much. However, it is not a big deal if you can talk to her to let everyone know how the country is. Now you can meet her and talk to her in an understanding manner, or if you can't, you can find maybe your dad or someone you can talk to, and she will listen to you talk to her in a way that she will not even know you are the one who told the person to talk to her.

because to deh carry another person billing for head for naija now no be small thing, e don red for everybody as e be like this, somake you know how you go takerum am wey she go leave.

Brother, as e be so, e dy very obvious say, dem no wan go now base on say as the country hard, dem dy see free food and other free tins for ur place, and since you never fit speak up, dem just believe say you dy comfortable with it, but as a man wey you be, you have to speak up, though before now, you sopos don ask her which time she wan go, so that you fit buy them one or two things wey dem fit use go back, that question alone go make them know say dem don over stay their welcome, but as you don allow am tey like this, na for you to meet her and ask her wen she wan go, tell her say you dy broke now, because if you no tell her, ur fiance fit start to show her attitude wey you self no go like, besides women know how to drive each other away with attitude.
 
So I suggest you first act broke make she self see say money no dy again for now, after you dy convince say she dy of ur financial status, you ask her when she wan go back, tell her say things rough for ur side now, that you no want dem to dy hungry for ur house, if she insist say she go stay, no gree oo, tell her say you dy broke now, dat you no need much responsibility now, she will go.

Bro it up to you. I think if you don have money they will have left by now, the only thing that keep people active is when they see that something is coming on a regular basis. It is very simple to me first of all you

1) approach her politely that mam please don't be offended, the economy system is very bad and you can no longer Carter for everyone that she should go back to her husband let them manage otherwise you might go bankrupt. Then check what she replied if she said ok that the problem is money, them provide money that will take her back and a little she will feed for the first week at home or wherever she is going with her daughter. Because if you see the money you want to give her as a big money I bet you will spend more than that when she is with you.

2) if she find a strategy not to go back, after some days pretend as if you are broke or where you receive money they haven't paid you and you guys will leave a live of pretence by reducing your daily feeding from 3 square meal to 2 from 2 to 1 I bet you when it's up to 1 she will be the one to tell you to give her money for transportation to go back.

3) stop acting so nice. when you stop acting so nice they will feel uncomfortable, that you have changed from that good guy they know. Because people love to be around someone who has a soft mind and be taking advantage of them. So you can try any of this method given to you and thank me later.

Are you the one paying for the expenses?

Is it your family house? You can not tell her to leave. But you can leave for awhile if her presence is no more convenient for you.

If it is your house, you can call her and politely ask her why is she not living. If not convenient for you, tell her politely that you can no more accommodate her. But if it is me, I can not do that if she is in need of help and if I can accommodate her. She is a female, and she has a daughter which is also a female which I do not think is a problem. But only if someone wife (like your financee) agrees to it.

I'm not sure if we should discuss this here on the forum, buddy. But it's something worth thinking about, especially during tough times like these. Just managing to feed oneself alone can be challenging, let alone taking care of others. If you feel you can no longer accommodate her, you should find a kind way to ask her to leave. Sometimes people fail to consider the feelings of others, which is why I prefer only my siblings and parents to visit my house. If she were responsible( sorry to say), she would have realized she overstayed her welcome. Nigerians tend to overdo things sometimes. It's polite to accept an invitation and leave when it's time.

My question for you is, does she even contribute to the household expenses? If not, you've been very generous. Make your decision soon, she won't be offended. It's your house, and the bills will keep coming your way if you don't.

Hey guys, abeg make una come help me out of this matter, because you guys are my surest paddies here and I can only share this with you because of its sensitivity to me. My only Aunty (paternal Aunty) and her daughter visited us since last year after a wedding of one of my cousins which happened during the ember periods, today makes it 4 months since November last year that they came in and they haven't leave up till now. With the current economic reality that is biting everyone of us, I don tire to they accommodate them already.

And that has made me pretty much uncomfortable because even my fiancé wey cover up for my expenses sometimes has not been comfortable with this lately too upon say na she happy pass when been first come, abeg how do I politely ask her and her daughter to vacate the house without offending her?