Trust me I'm not going to deprive anyone of anything good by offing myself. They'll either be indifferent or glad.
Bro, don't look at it like this. I know it may seem like the end of the world, but things will get better. I went into a very unhealthy depression a couple years ago due to a business I helped run, to the point where I wasn't eating for days at a time, wasn't showering, etc. My doctor was even scared for my health because all of my tests were going badly (super high cholesterol, dangerously low vitamin D due to not going outside, etc.). I literally dumped everything I had into attempting to save the business, throwing away all of my life's savings and earnings, living off things like ramen to help maximize what I could contribute, maxing out my credit cards, literally giving it my all, only to later be attacked by everyone for it failing due to things out of my control. Honestly, just typing this is making me tear up because I spent every waking hour for well over a year babying it, learning everything I could so I could help with more related to it, trying to earn more money so I could help save it, only to leave with nothing but scam accusations.
I won't lie and say things aren't still sucky, despite this being years ago, but I will say that life will get better. You just need to be patient, realize that you're at your low, and work on finding what makes you happy and making that your focus.
You can do this!