Topic: People who only take and don't give. (Read 3612 times)

Parasitic relationship doesn't last regardless if it is physical or emotional.

Yes, people are different. Some never say no - those are easy to exploit for others, while some people are good at saying no when it is required, and yet other people never contribute. I think it is very easy to take it for granted when some people always says yes, or does things for you.

Missed is only what you've lost..

I happen to know such leeches. Only I call them family members. You know the ones that expect you to help them clean their house, watch their kids, provide transport to places, basically for free. After a while, you just have to put your foot down and make it clear to them that you have a life, too, and can't drop everything to do what they want.

you are young, and still believe there is some justice in this world, in time u will see that is not the case.
everything we do will not be judged, atleast that is what i believe in.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You trusted someone that didn't deserve your trust and loved someone that didn't return your love. That doesn't make you stupid or weak. That makes you someone who believes in the goodness of people and has faith in humanity which are really good qualities. So, remember to love yourself, take care of yourself and know that the right person is looking for you. Really!

Did you ever explain to them that this is how you view it? It might be the case that they just take you for granted and just come to you whenever they need something. Perhaps if you explained it to them, they would realize and perhaps be more 'present' and appreciative for what you do?

It's very easy to not appreciate those around us, until they're no longer there. In the daily life it's easy to be caught up in all the stress and chores, and not really see what's around us.

I think we should try to not take those close to us for granted, although sometimes they're really a pain in the ass. And I think it's also a matter of investing into a relationship. When people feel valued and appreciated, we increase their sense of self confidence and self worth.

But I agree that when people exploit you, or you get a feeling that they do, withdrawal is the natural response.


Although not being good, that's a good point. However, to keep sane and lead a productive and good life, I think it's necessary not to be bogged down by such toughts, but rather try to change what we can change in our own lives and work to make it better. After all, nobody else is going to do it!

everybody knows somebody like that, and society is littered with people like that. and that's why our world is turning to shit. greed and competition.

Yes, I have had people do that to me. I get onto my kids for it to. It's seems they only call or come around if they need something. I've gotten to were I just say no a lot.

you know I seen people want, and there are less that give.  Giving is the best thing you can do for a person who is not fortunate.

This is oversimplifying and a black & white view on the world. If you make some more effort, I'm sure you can contribute better to the discussion.

There are many relations where both parties give and take, so that both parties are mostly happy with the relation in question.

Some people are mature responsible adults that are able to put themselves in others' shoes and see a situation from several angles.


Good point. A very simple exercise would be to imagine what it would be like or how it would feel like if what happens to some other people happened to you. If a person is unable to do this, perhaps he's a psychopath? But very many people lack compassion because the affected issues don't affect themselves.

Let us take a very easy example. The war on terror with the drone attacks done by the USG. If everyone involved here realized that the kid losing its parents, or a kid getting hurt for life, they could turn it around and picture this affected child to be their own child, their sister or their brother. And then the very simple and rhetorical question would be: Would you wish this to happen for your own child, or your brother or sister? If not, why are you doing it?

Instead innocent deaths caused by drones are called 'bugsplatter'. So instead of realizing that real innocent people with families, lives and hope and dreams for the future is demolished and killed, it's just called a 'bugsplat'. And on the operator's screen it's not too much detail, so the horror unfolding, a child lying on the ground screaming it's lungs out bleeding out of bodyparts that's blasted of and surrounded with dead relatives, it's not something the operator sees.

The operator might as well be deliberately brainwashed, told he's doing a great service for his country, and that he's conducting surgical drone warfare and that everything is precise and well done. So the brainwashed operator might 'squash a few bugs', then go out with his buddies and have some beers and then watch a soccer game, all the time without thinking about what he really does and realizing the real impact of it.

Any would-ber operator should be put on the ground to see the horrors first hand, and they should be presented for molested childs before they sign up for the job, then they could chose whether they wanted to live off a small wage killing other innocent people in distant countries.

But over to the give-take thing in relations. I think those who are compassionate and considerate will care about other people and also contact them without having selfish motivation for doing so. Those who are cold and just exploit other people will eventually end up lonesome and unhappy. Nobody wants to be around those who only exploit others.

I think what is needed for certain people is to see the other side of the coin to wake up. Some people can on an intellectual level imagine and understand the viewpoint and situation of others, while others needs to be put in their shoes and experience what they experience to try to put themselves in their position and to develop some empathy.

Here's more from the bugsplat article above:

Ramton
Surely it cant be as hopeless as you say.
Hope I spelled your name correctly - sorry if I havent
I have been doing a bit of thinking around this subject
The problem is that there isnt enough empathy around
If eg someone has suffered at the hands of their parents - if they have children they may be determined not to repeat their parents behaviour because they now have empathy.
If you break into my home - am I not less likely to break into the home of another person because  because I now know what the emotional consequenses are to the person whose home it is? 
 

People will use you for what they want. I'm sure you're no different really. It's just a human thing but there's always going to be at least one party that gets hurt.

You were molested when you were a little boy, weren't you?

Karma makes u wait 50 years ull likely be dead by then.

Take things in ur own hand and be karma itself

OP Here. Thought this thread was pretty much dead, but interesting it's still alive.

Most people are selfish by default, some are less selfish, and there's some saints walking among us that are very altruistic as well.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with being selfish, as it's important to do the things in life that you need to do to have a good life, so you can't go around fix everyone elses life as well, but I mean, there's small things that anyone could do instead of just complaining about it or not taking action. Sometimes we see people in need, and then we can help. Sometimes we see something is wrong, and then we can do something about it, it could be as simple as some litter on your local street, instead of just complaining about it, take it and toss it in a garbage bin near by. Sometimes, when you have the time and energy, call and old friend, and be genuinely interested and ask how he or she's doing. Take care of a stray cat, whatever that can be valuable for the local community and others. The danger is that when everybody don't give a shit, it creates a hostile environment where everybody is discontent and unhappy.

If you're a woman rainbowpot, and if you're attractive (I don't know), but don't be surprised that men are very helpful and women are less helpful..

And sometimes, if you start showing the good side to those neighbours, they might show a good side back - I know that can be very hard - as it's the same problem in my street.


This is a generalization, and as for most generalizations, that's just not very constructive, productive or adding to an intelligent conversation. Both women and men have values and opinions that stretch from one end of the spectrum to the other. While some women go after power, money and fame, other women would not look twice to such a man, but would rather find someone that lack these qualities, but someone which they truly love.

Same for men. Some men would rather have a meaningful relationship where sex is not the primary reason they're in that relationship. Closeness, love, tenderness etc. It's not all about intercourse.


First of all - animal violence has no place, anywhere. And it's not an animals fault that the owner is a complete jerk.

Now, that being said - I can understand your thoughts. We've all been there at one point or another, but most don't act on such toughts. There are several reasons for this:

A. A lot of what you say is illegal to do, and may eventually put yourself in trouble, after all, it's not always so difficult to find a suspect in such cases unless you're very subtle about things..
B. It might escalate into a complete war between the neighbors - you slash their tires, they slash yours, you break their windows, they break yours... etc... Very destructive and uncivilized.
C. If you're miserable because of your neighbors, I'd rather look into eventually moving away than spending your own time trying to make life miserable for them. If the neighbours are happy or unhappy - what difference does it make in your life? I pitty anyone who actually feels better about himself having destroyed the life of someone else. I guess it depends on the amount of wrongdoing the other person has done, but most conflicts in a normal neighborhood is not that big that they need to escalate into an outright war.


Let's say you're miserable - and you spend a lot of time, energy and resources to make the life of your neighbors miserable. What will happen? Most likely your own life will suck even more, and perhaps even the police and other authorities will be involved, and a lot of energy and time will be wasted on arguments and shit that's counterproductive to any meaningful life. And if you really ruin the life of one of your neighbors and break up a marriage or a couple for whatever reason, one of them might as well become insanely pissed on you, and then making your life miserable in return. The same methods and strategies you can use towards anyone else, they can use towards you. The only way to wreak mayhem in someones life without them being able to do the same back to you is to stay anonymous, which is hardly doable in a small neighborhood.

And also consider whether it's worth spending time and energy on the case. If somebody annoys you, why let their actions consume you so much that all of your awake time is spent thinking how to get back at them.

Personally I think it's best just to ignore them. They do not provide anything constructive to your life, so why give them any power? The best revenge is to have a good life, and spend your own time and energy on creating that for yourself to the best of your abilities.

This has been my experience as well.  Men want sex.  Women want money.

your a psycho!!
dude leave the animals alone they have nothing to do with this
and for revenge i rather avoid them because i strongly believe in karma
as zolace said its better to give than to recieve because time will come that all those you spent to those people will return to you just wait and be patient

Yeah that is very true, it goes for money also,  and families.  I actually love to give more then receive, but is good to receive once a while.

U need to learn how to take revenge

Ruin their lives slowly but surely

Start by slashing the tires

Then hang their dog/cat

Leave love letters between the couple, make them think one of them is cheating, ruin their relation


Take it from there , people who hurt u destroy them

People have diff characters