Do you have any tips for us about anal? The two minute thing is probably especially true with anal. Since you wrote less paragraphs that probably got skipped.
No idea if trolling, but I don't give a shit I'll look for any excuse to talk about sex:
In order to get it at all, you've got to be considered a good guy, so make sure you put in the time before hand and you have a good relationship over all. Keep in mind that you are essentially asking her for the equivalent of "hey honey, you know, I'd really like to stick a dildo up your ass. It would get me off so hard. Would you do it for me?" What would you say to that? If it's "hell fucking no never on your life," then isn't it kind of unfair to ask her to do it? Now if it was "ehhh I'd only do it for her if I really loved her, and not really that often..." then you get where your average woman will be on that. You can keep rolling the dice until you find a girl that likes it, but you can be rolling dice until you die trying to hit that number.
Be especially nice to her the week before you ask, don't be surprised if she says no, if she says yes, get her off first, use lots of lube, start with a finger, and dear god go fucking slower than you've ever slowed in your entire life until/unless she is showing signs of being into it (i.e. sighing in almost assuredly fake ecstasy instead of saying "ow" or slapping the bed in obvious pain). You've got to stretch her out first, if yanno what I mean. Even then, don't ever pound it like it's your goddamn fleshlight.
TBH it's in your best interest, anyway: most porn stars do enemas before anal sex scenes. If she's never done it before/hasn't done it often, her preparation will often involve making sure the area is clean and she didn't eat a big dinner, which is nowhere near enema levels of, ahem, safety. I'll leave you to figure out the finer details of what I'm getting at, here. Let's just say, her body needs to,
autonomically prepare for it, as well. So go slow.
As for lasting, uhh to state the obvious, the faster you are, the better. Get it done, jerk off a bit and get yourself excited before hand, whatever you have to to get it done. Definitely don't get off with her when you get her off first, though you can, like, position yourself so she can stroke you and get you all excited so you go quicker.
If you don't follow all that advice, don't be surprised if you only get it once (or want it once, depending on how unlucky you both are and how atrociously it went), and don't expect it often in any case. For the vast majority of women, it is a sexual act that is entirely for you, so in the interest of fairness, you'd better be okay with some blue balls on some nights if she has work the next day or some shit (and it would help if you have already proven that, though that could be part of your "extra nice the week before" routine).
Personally I don't worry about it too much. A lot of work for relatively little gain. I'd take a good blowjob over it any day, and most girls will give you at least a decent one of those without any hassle at all.
Hahaha.
Basically, you've admitted you're a white knight orbiter. If you orbit long enough, you might get a sniff!