Topic: Wedding talk a guys point of view. (Read 2168 times)

misery loves company.

why?

Wedding is important for life

marriage is not a way to get happiness, but thing you need to experience in life (my professor words)

Thank You for putting it so eloquently - i struggle with the idea, let alone putting it into words!

If we could do to them, what the law and society permits them to do to us(apart from the dim princess cosplay bit), how many of them would still want it ?

After reading the OP, it's like "Are you investing more than (to her)you can afford to lose?"

Why don't you get rid that demanding girl and become a single once again until you find a better woman than your current fiance. I don't think you'll ever truly be ready for marriage, but it's something you go into and learn along the way. I think it's easier for men to hold off marriage, so I would say that if you want to wait make sure you spend your time to her, make a better decision to yourself ( just find another woman).

What is legally binding about a marriage, for the woman?  She can leave you whenever she wants, take the house, take the kids, and there are no legal consequences for her.

So she means it has to be legally binding for you.  Since the rules don't apply to her, you're the only one legally getting married.  Therefore it should be your choice, and she should pay for everything.  Because marriage is a contract saying that you have to pay for everything for the rest of your life. 

But since both of you already have kids, what's the point?  Marriage is 100% based on where babies come from.  A man and a woman agree that they will live together and sleep together, because that's where babies come from.  They promise never to leave each other, so that the woman won't be stuck pregnant or with kids and nobody to support them.  They promise never to sleep with anyone else, so the man knows the kids will be his, and so the woman knows he won't be out spending time and money on another woman and her kids instead.

And you invite everyone you know, and the preacher says "Nobody else sleep with these two people."  That way, nobody can claim they didn't know the deal.  So if one of you breaks the rules, the other one is free to leave. 

But that's not how it works anymore.  She can spend all your money on drugs, and then she can screw 10 different guys, and all her friends and family will say it's your fault.  She can get pregnant by another guy, and even if everyone knows it's not yours, the courts will still make you pay "child support".  But after she kicks you out of the house and gets a restraining order against you, you'll have to keep paying the mortgage plus your own rent at your new place.  Then if you can't afford all of that plus the "child support", you'll lose your driver's license and go to jail. 

Those are a few of the risks.  What are the benefits for you?

no offense taken. i agree with you alot of wemon  dont necessarily want to marry or dont have strong feelings about getting married

but my list is fairly hard to fulfill when you take into account the other person needs to be able to tolerate me.  
oh idk
i think i'll have to break up with her sooner rather than later.
there are other issues at play.
its not a simple matter.

one thing is clear tho, i shouldn't marry someone if i dont really want to, and i'm "just doing it for her"

LOL nothings wrong with them!  I meant choosing the wrong women.  I meant since you aren't holding anyone to some impossible standard, it shouldn't be that hard to find a girl whom isn't interested in getting married.  I mean, even the majority of women I talk to as friends/co-workers/etc. who are my our age have no interest in the idea, so it seems like you just had back luck finding a second girl who also wants to tie the knot    I mean no offense by the way, just speaking man to man here

i'm 28 she's 27

whats wrong with my prerequisites?

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? How old is she?

Because I'm just shy of 30 and have never dated anyone that even discusses marriage...

If those are your prerequisites for a woman, I think you're just choosing the wrong ones...

we can do that without getting married
we simply change our marital status to common law.

Don't forget that you can start filing jointly on your tax return if you get married.  There are some savings right there depending on each of your tax brackets.  +1 for go for it.

I really think that after marrigae nothing will change, really, it's just a waste of money. Better to spend this money on trip with your GF somewhere.

what are the chances i'll find a girl that is

tall
smokes
has no dog and no interest in getting a dog
has a head on her shoulders
and doesn't want to marry.

shes not my first...
i came out of a 7 yr relationship  and met her
i have 2 kids
she has 1 kid

we both have lots in common.

she's not a "crazy bitch" i know crazy bitch, my ex was that.
she's not perfect, but all in all "it" works quite well..

if i break up with her because i'm unwilling to marry, who's to say the next girl won't make similar demands?



i'm not sure a compromise is possible... its more than just talk. this is the deal.
but i'm not ready to make any compromise right now, and i'm not sure i ever will be.
I guess i'm going to avoid the topic a while longer as i mull over my limited options.

I don't think the lady will walk out on you because you do not want an expensive wedding.

She might threaten to leave, but it's just talk; she will come back.

Go to a marriage registery, get married without breaking the bank, and let her know that you are not changing your mind about that, period.

agree to my terms or we're fighting!!!!


LOL, go for it!!


are you willing to show us a pic of the special lady?


IS SHE YOUR FIRST??

no way. she wants the full package

idk i dont think so, signing this dotted line is just as crazy as spending 15K on one night IMO.



good for you.

typical when my s.o asks it leads to a fight, we i dont think i can hold off very long, i'm gonna be forced to commit to it or leave.

Jesus christ man, are you just making this thread to increase your post count?  Because nobody in their right mind deserves to be whipped like this.  And you already know what the right answer to your predicament is; nothing that will be said in this thread will change your mind, and you know that.  

You're literally setting yourself up to be taken advantage of, and practically defending it.  Is this the first girl you've ever been with?  Has she even taken your virginity?  Let me guess, she's 'waiting until marriage'?  

You're going along with this psycho's delusion of 'marriage' being all about her.  At what point has she ever thought about the event being about both of you, rather than just 'me me me me me'

I would give you legitimate advice, but I already know you're just going to brush everything aside and follow her every command, whether you like it or not...

...when the day does come where you say 'enough is enough', I'll be here to give you serious help.  Just PM me or something


i've got news for you, bro...seems like you don't need to get married for this to happen

 

Always fucked, my friend