Topic: What are You buying with bitcoins? (Read 3515 times)

Oregano

I bought a blowjob in Nevada with Bitcoins...

Oregano

I bought a blowjob in Nevada with Bitcoins, but then the exchange rate dropped off a cliff by the time I received my services and she only gave me half a blowjob. Trust me on this, fellas, when I say that half of a blowjob is pretty much pointless. I'd have preferred it if she gave me the latter half of the blowjob, even though it seems chronologically improbable. It is, of course, common knowledge in the blowjob industry that the latter half of the blowjob is what you're really paying for. In fact, most of us who pay for blowjobs would rate, in consideration of benefit, utility, and quality, the last 10 seconds of the blowjob to feature 90% of the value. For example, a 10 BTC blowjob, if offered to potential blowjob recipients in fractions, would only sell equivalently to the full blowjob if a first-half blowjob was offered at a rate of just under 0.5 BTC.

So, doing the math on this, my bitcoin-to-blowjob purchasing power actually dropped 95% during one transaction. I paid for a complete blowjob, but lost 95% of the value. If I was thinking at the time, I would have done the math and instead downgraded the service to a handjob. A full handjob has a much higher value than half of a blowjob.

As much as I like Bitcoin, I think that in cases where sexual services are being bartered you should use a hedging escrow account of some sort. This would essentially bring such services back to being dollar denominated. Yes, this is bad for Bitcoin, but when I'm losing 95% of the value of a service in the time it takes to merely perform the transaction, something is very wrong with the currency.

Also, sitting around in a seedy hotel room waiting for transaction confirmations and making small talk with a hooker is rather uncomfortable, mainly because they just won't shut up about Battlestar Galactica. In my experience, hookers who take bitcoins absolutely love Battlestar Galactica.

Furthermore, if this hooker had charged me for the total time involved (transaction time plus sexual service), and refused to be pre-paid for an "estimated" total, then I could feasibly pay an infinite sum of bitcoins. Say I'm paying for 60 minutes of services with 10 BTC and she needs 3 confirmations minimum before proceeding. On average, by the time 3 confirmations occur, 30 minutes will have passed. Now, if I still want 60 minutes of sex, I need to pay 5 more BTC. Then 30 more minutes would pass and I would pay another 5 BTC. At this rate, I'll never be able to actually have sex but would merely keep paying money for the time it takes just to process the money that I keep paying.

If, however, she charged for the transaction time but took "estimates" in advance and refunded the excess, I would still be paying, essentially, 50% more than those paying with dollar bills. That is a premium that I just cannot accept.

MORE hardware.....to mine MORE BTC. 

I bought a blowjob in Nevada with Bitcoins, but then the exchange rate dropped off a cliff by the time I received my services and she only gave me half a blowjob. Trust me on this, fellas, when I say that half of a blowjob is pretty much pointless. I'd have preferred it if she gave me the latter half of the blowjob, even though it seems chronologically improbable. It is, of course, common knowledge in the blowjob industry that the latter half of the blowjob is what you're really paying for. In fact, most of us who pay for blowjobs would rate, in consideration of benefit, utility, and quality, the last 10 seconds of the blowjob to feature 90% of the value. For example, a 10 BTC blowjob, if offered to potential blowjob recipients in fractions, would only sell equivalently to the full blowjob if a first-half blowjob was offered at a rate of just under 0.5 BTC.

So, doing the math on this, my bitcoin-to-blowjob purchasing power actually dropped 95% during one transaction. I paid for a complete blowjob, but lost 95% of the value. If I was thinking at the time, I would have done the math and instead downgraded the service to a handjob. A full handjob has a much higher value than half of a blowjob.

As much as I like Bitcoin, I think that in cases where sexual services are being bartered you should use a hedging escrow account of some sort. This would essentially bring such services back to being dollar denominated. Yes, this is bad for Bitcoin, but when I'm losing 95% of the value of a service in the time it takes to merely perform the transaction, something is very wrong with the currency.

Also, sitting around in a seedy hotel room waiting for transaction confirmations and making small talk with a hooker is rather uncomfortable, mainly because they just won't shut up about Battlestar Galactica. In my experience, hookers who take bitcoins absolutely love Battlestar Galactica.

Furthermore, if this hooker had charged me for the total time involved (transaction time plus sexual service), and refused to be pre-paid for an "estimated" total, then I could feasibly pay an infinite sum of bitcoins. Say I'm paying for 60 minutes of services with 10 BTC and she needs 3 confirmations minimum before proceeding. On average, by the time 3 confirmations occur, 30 minutes will have passed. Now, if I still want 60 minutes of sex, I need to pay 5 more BTC. Then 30 more minutes would pass and I would pay another 5 BTC. At this rate, I'll never be able to actually have sex but would merely keep paying money for the time it takes just to process the money that I keep paying.

If, however, she charged for the transaction time but took "estimates" in advance and refunded the excess, I would still be paying, essentially, 50% more than those paying with dollar bills. That is a premium that I just cannot accept.

I'm quite happy to see that hamburger again.

I bought a ... cliff by the ... chronologically improbable ... blowjob industry. In fact, most of us who ... sell ... the full blowjob ... rate ... just under 0.5.