"Bitcoin lets you send money to anyone, anywhere in the world, for free, instantly, and without involving a bank or government."
Except for the most part you can't send for free. Nor is it really instant -- most transactions must confirm with six confirmations before payment is recognized.
It is mostly free. The only transactions that I've seen thus far that have required a fee for me to send are those that dip into the realm of the sub-penny. It can always be free (if the user chooses), so for the purposes of keeping the description simple, I don't see a problem with calling it free. I agree that instantly is debatable, though for any instance in which both parties trust each other, it is effectively instant.
This was a post yesterday on Reddit:
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http://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/comments/157sy8/describe_bitcoin_in_50_words_or_lessMeni had a pretty good one:
"Bitcoin is the world's first decentralized digital currency. It empowers people everywhere with autonomy over their finances and the ability to transact freely and easily."
But then go to a convenience store and tell that to the person standing behind you in line. Then ask that person to tell you what Bitcoin is.
I doubt those same words will be returned.
Let's say instead that the person in front of you buys a lottery ticket. You could explain to that person that bitcoin is a way to buy a lottery tickets where the return is 41% higher than the one they just bought (BitLotto payouts are 99% of wagers, state-run lotteries like MegaMillions are in the 70% range).
Or perhaps at the line at a pharmacy describe how bitcoins can be used to buy generic medications sometimes at half the price or less because they are bought online from a seller who ships from a country where the generics are produced.
Or when you see a sign at a store that says "cash only", describe how bitcoins work like cash and by accepting bitcoins the store can attract customers who have bitcoins to spend yet the store won't have to suffer payment card network costs.
So yes it is difficult to describe bitcoin in a sentence or two that conveys a message that really describes it well and is relevant.
I do not like descriptions that throw words in that are not used in every day language. "Decentralized", "autonomy", "transact" should all be banished from Meni's description - they aren't words that the average person can immediately relate to. Instead, phrases like "without involving a government or bank", "to anyone, anywhere in the world", and "send money" should be used.
Like you said about mentioning it to someone at a convenience store, such a cryptic message as Meni's would be difficult for a person to process and easily forgettable. A description needs to be much more direct, and have much simpler language to be effective.
K.I.S.S.