Topic: Why is the issue of Genotype affecting relationships? (Read 244 times)

It is very important to put issue of genotype into consideration, before relationship go far, it is advisable to do the test from both parties. I have seen when an innocent child suffer her life in treatment and injection due to her nature of sickness cell problem, both parents spend a lot in this treatment without peace of mind, especially the poor family. Every income will be be spending if the two parties proceed to get married and bear children if confirmed not compatible.

What is the joy of bringing a child to the world to suffer an innocent child with unbalanced health?. The child will be a liability to the family and both parents will always be treating such child in weeks or monthly. Wish am sure it will not be that easy for any parents facing such and abandoning their work and time but Everytime is hospital and treatment. The family I witnessed such with was hell and pity for when this child on different types of drugs and treatment, several times absent from school. I am just advising base on what I have seen and danger or problem in it, because if problem is to much in the family, there is no peace and joy, how can the love continue when money is spend on a sick child numerous uncountable times and seeing child like he might not survive it at times. Such burden and problem weaken love from both husband and wife. we should think twice before we decide in such relationship because even in Africa, no peaceful family or happy family who can't reprocreate it causes separation or even divior in most African culture.

Since this isn't common here in the country I reside in, nor have I seen cases related to it, most of the people here don't even bother with such tests. Most people here don't care about their genotypes.

Had I been in a place where such cases are common though, I would rather endure the awkwardness and get tested together to see if there are any compatibility issues while it is still early in the relationship so that there won't be that much problem or pain if there were to be any compatibility issues. Not doing so is being selfish and cruel to your children that are yet to be born.

In your case though, it will be quite difficult to accept such results since you have already grown too close with each other. I honestly wouldn't know what to do as well had I been the one in your shoes. I hope both of you gets to a decision that would be best for each side.

What happened to you is more reason why everyone needs to know about their lover's genotype when dating because they can't tell where love would take them tomorrow.

Had it been you and your lover have known each other genotype at the early stage of the relationship, you too would have gone in separate ways without getting attached or getting hurt by not being together because of the genotype incompatible(SS + AC).

What's the purpose of marrying someone if it is not to procreate? God commanded that we should go into the world and multiply. The mistake that someone would do is to marry someone who he knows he's not compatible with just because of love.

Sickle sell is inherited from parents through the hemoglobin. If the two homoglobins inherited by a man from each parent i.e one from father and one from mother is faulty,it causes sickle cell disease. Going for a genotype test before getting deep into a relationship is very important, as this will help you give birth to healthy children and also stay healthy. Sickle cell patients do fall sick easily and are weak naturally. If you are SS and you want to get married to someone that is AS,if you are wealthy then I don't see this as a problem. There are regular medications that will be prescribed by the doctor to you,which will help you stay healthy. The only problem is child bearing, it will be difficult because the chance of surviving is 50-50. Adoption is a good option because the child will never know that he/she was adopted. An Africa man see giving birth as the joy of a family, this is their own mentality.

Being realistic, the sickle red cells illness is genetical in nature and while there are treatments which can help to cope with the pain, anemia and other symptoms, it is a difficult thing to live with. Also in many African communities people who were born with it are mistreated and pointed out as cursed people and similar things, they are pushed to being Outcasts, in some occasions.

The only permanent solution for it would be to receive a narrow bone transplant, which would slowly and steadily replace the faulty red cells in the blood with normal ones permanently. However, it can be an expensive procedure and a compatible donor would be needed.

Narrow bone transplants have also the possibly to cure AIDS, but that is even a more special case. Look for the case of the "London Patient" and South American who was cured of AIDS that way.

It's incredibly sad to read that a four year relationship that seemingly had no issues was ended because of a biological difference that if otherwise was not found out, may have lead to the relationship continuing as nicely as it was from that day.

From what I'm reading everything still comes down to chance. How can you live your life trying to get the best odds or in other words "finding the best compatibility"? I believe that you'd end up sadder than if you were to just live your life without worry and let nature have its course.

That's my personal opinion anyway. Sad to read a lot of this thread.

Ask your man, would he reassure you that everything will be fine? That no matter the outcome, he will love the child and provide.
There are way more uncertainties in life that you can't manage even if you choose a different guy who is healthy. Would he stay faithful? Would you be able to pregnant? Can you deliver a healthy baby? Would you be happier with him? etc. These are some problems that a married couple should solve together.

I'd be honest with you that I didn't do any medical checkups before I married my wife because everything that will happen will be our problem to solve. If a 50% probability of bad things happening shakes your faith in your relationship, well... maybe he's not the man or you're not the woman he needs.

There are people who marry disabled people without thinking about the cons.

You are only selfish if you won't take responsibility for your action.

To be frank with you, we thought about all these options but who are we to gamble with an innocent child, ok supposing we did as you said and things went bad for the child and the child start falling sick and even dosing off in class or something, who should be responsible for that? Is just going to hurt the child if he/she start asking for answers and you don't expect"we" the parents to lie, you know.
These are not what we should think of because of love, I can't see my child suffering for some I choose out of my selfish interest... Common bro, not an option.

We know that the test is done to find out the possibility that will happen if you want to have children and it is intended to be able to get healthy offspring, but because the test must end the relationship is the only way? the point is that the test is the development of health sciences in order to get healthier children so it is very possible that other sciences have also been developed to suppress or reduce all the bad possibilities that can, maybe there will be therapy or medicines that can be consumed so that the impact is not as bad with what is imagined and also it's all just a possibility that will happen so it is also very possible that you will still have healthy offspring even though you are still married to that man.

Many if what I am seeing here is not even supposed to be discussed here. This is normal and we must take necessary precautions to make sure that we do the necessary things to make sure that we don't blindly take decisions that will affect us and cause a lot of troubles in our life thatbwikl ruin everything we have worked for just because of relationship. We need to be very careful our  genotype not to make the wrong mistakes.

Because you won't want to be the cause of your unborn children problem, I know that it is very had to make decisions more expecially when it comes to love but if you are not compatible as I tag it genotypically is advisable not to get the relationship going because you will endanger your offsprings.

So he's sick and you're fine CMIIW (I learned about it today)
Yet he can grow, become an adult, and want to marry you.

The chance of your kid (SS x AC) would be:
* AS 50% -> normal health, carrier
* SC 50% -> Hb SC disease, milder than SS

If you want to gamble, you'll have a 50% chance of a normal child... if you're unlucky HB SC is still milder than SS.
Well, not definitely the best option, but I've seen worst families and yet they are still fine.
If you don't want to gamble, adoption is one option, but make sure you are fine with an SS husband.

Not really affecting the relationship, it's just a prove that the society is advancing and overcoming illiteracy. Then, our fathers never had the knowledge of genotype and how it affect the children. But with rhe help of research and science education, we're all enlightened about the danger of genotypes. In the other way, we're fighting against bring children with sickle cell. Before marriage it's advicable to do a genotype check, for better good of the society and in reducing the bearing children with sickle cell.

I advice,no matter the outcome, both parties should respect the results and adjust if it comes out positive. Genotype has help the society in reducing children born with sickle cell than any method therein.

Sickle cell disease also affect many people in almost all the continent of the world but Africa has the highest population of those infected. And the reason why many sufferers of this sickness die is because of Africa's poor health facilities. Most wealthy citizens that suffer from this sickness seek medical attention abroad and they live healthily. The less privileged have no other option but to avoid the intermarriage of genotypes that will lead to the birth of sickle cell offspring. Genotype tests are a compulsory requirement by most religious bodies before marriage will be conducted. If both partners have any genotype defect the marriage will be recited by the church, parents, and even friends.

I have seen true lovers miss the opportunity of staying together because of this genotype issue. It's really heartbreaking but we have to endure this situation. Adopting children might be a good option but it is expensive and most people can it afford it. I know it sounds strange to many people that not having children after marriage in Africa is unacceptable.

I would never under-estimate the influence of European powers over the African culture. Depending whom you ask, some may argue that people from Africa were forced to change their way of living and thinking because the colonization, both political and cultural; I assume some young people there prefer to embrace the western values over the old African traditions, it is the same here in LATAM, people here are influenced for the cultural spheres of power of USA and Europe.

It is the way it is, I just hope we can continue to keep the good things of our culture and do not absorb the negative things from foreign nations.

---

i am aware of some of those believes which could be considered to be nonsensical on other places of the world but I'll let you know that here in South America there are towns in the jungle where people also believe in the existence of black magic and witchcraft, so there is not much difference in that sense. However, human sacrifice or AIDS denial is not a thing here.

To be honest, when I first joined the forum I thought I would mostly encounter people from USA and Europe. African and Asian people truly seem to represent an important percentage of the traffic around here.

It's nice to know that you have lent other culture aside from your own from users in this forum and it sound great to be able to differentiate their culture and beliefs from yours and what is irrationally normal,  Africans have hard a lot of horrible culture such as the killing of twins in some part of the continent until it was abolished by a western woman some decade/centuries ago.

Likewise also os the perception and believe in witch craft existence and the perception pf anyone not being able to bear they own biological kids as a witch in Africa a lot of things are intellectually and scientifically wrong but yet it's a standard of their existence in some cases.

It is nice to know that you have learnt more about African culture and it is also good that you know that the culture is mutating  and going through alculturation which is affecting the social, economic or psychological state of a typical African society. I have to let you know that things like polygamy are giving way to monogamy giving rise to adoption of children where couples in nuclear homes are not able to procreate for one health reason or the other - this was not heard before. I guess your country (America) and other European countries have influenced African society a great deal to the extent you may not be able to trace a pure breed of African culture lately and this is the effect of brain drain going on in Africa. Unlike 30 years ago, abortion, adoption of children, monogamy and nuclear homes etc were not African practice but things have changed because of alculturation, a product of technological developments. The African culture is not what it was before now and if you want to learn more you can read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe .

The issue of genotype is a very important topic. Because it can lead to death. If a couple whose genotype are not compatible, eventually have children. If any of the child is ss, meaning that the child automatically has sickle cell, chances are that the child will die.

It is better to check your status before deciding to have children. Especially as a black person.

 Sometimes they even grow up to adolescent before eventually dying. I guess eighty percent of them don't survive. I also believe that this is common among black people.

It will interest the whole world to know that in Africa, particularly some part of Nigeria, so many young girls have been married off to men they don't know, nor love, for the sake of culture.

This culture gives more priority to the men (Patriarch) than women and because of that, families of the bride do not care about her feelings before giving her out in marriage without considering the health implications. eg; genotype incompatible.

A typical example is when a crown prince or a royalty picks interest on a lady, the family of the lady makes it a sanctity to marry her off to the prince without observing or taking into cognizant the adverse effects of such decisions. In most cases, the couples have incompatible genotypes and the lady faces more challenges and humiliation.

Adopting isn't a bad idea but you have no idea what joy it would bring for a woman to have her own child instead of adopting.
I can't see myself being with a guy I love so much and yet we can't get married, the shame it would bring to both of us when people finds out that we ain't married but we stay together, is like we're deceiving ourselves. Here in Africa things are done differently unlike yours, like you said people have different cultures and how they even live.