Okay now I'm quite confused. is there a soft maximum number of transactions included into a block?
There is currently a hard data size limit for a block at one MB, and a soft data size limit for all transactions that do not pay the minimum fee of roughly 10% of that, or about 100KB. Since the average transaction is about 1.5 KB, it'd only take about 70 free and low fee transactions to hit that soft limit. Eventually, though, such transactions do make it in.
And is my transaction even valid if it's listed on blockchain.info but has not had a confirmation yet, if it was a 'double spend' for example it wouldn't even be listed on there right?
Blockchain.info can't really know if your transaction is part of a double spend attempt or not, because such conflicts are sovled by a race of sorts. When a transaction is broadcast to the network, it is received, checked for validity, and forwarded to all that node's peers. If any node has already seen a transaction that spends particular inputs, any other transaction that it sees afterwards that attempt to spend those same inputs will be invalid, and will not be forwarded. So what happens is the two competing transactions will move across the p2p network trying to capture as much of the network as possible before they meet at a front. Once a block is solved, whichever of the two transactions that particular node saw first will be included, and the other becomes forever invalid. Once that block is accepted by the part of the network that saw the losing transaction first, the losing transaction is droped from their transaction queues altogether. So under such conditions, the transaction that hits the p2p network first has the advantage. Right now, the edge to edge propogatin time for the entire network is only about 10 seconds, so it's a very small window of opprotunity.