The issues of self defense and guns are really separate in my opinion. For example, you're seeing people standing up for helpless strangers and being arrested for doing so in liberal run cities. That is clearly wrong, but in my opinion completely separate from owning guns. Should people be able to assault those who put them in a position where they feel they need to defend themselves, I believe so. Should people also be able to own guns? I think so. Both are major issues and you're right to question them.
My take is this... If someone hits you first, you should have the right to beat them unconscious. I also think gun ownership is important, otherwise someone might not be aware if they break into a home they could be murdered. Take away guns and soon our government will be like Canada, telling people to leave their doors unlocked so criminals don't have to break in where they could hurt the homeowner.
It is true that people have the right to protect themselves if they feel threatened. On the other hand, you acknowledge that gun ownership is a distinct issue (which I believe is also true) with its own set of difficulties and implications. Yeah, these concerns can be tough to resolve, but there is still a need to try to separate them in order to have effective conversations.
In my honest opinion, I believe it is possible to understand the need of self-defense while simultaneously acknowledging the dangers of unregulated having a gun. On one hand, we have the right to defend ourselves against damage, which includes the right to use force if needed. On the other hand, we have a responsibility to keep firearms out of the hands of individuals who could use them to hurt others. But now the problem is to find a way to balance these two objectives without intruding on people's rights or putting them in danger.
I believe that focusing on education and training for gun ownership could be a viable option. For example, we may require gun owners to complete a safety course and pass a background check before purchasing a gun. We could also establish a mandatory system of licensing and registration to track who possesses guns and ensure that they are used responsibly. This allows for a balance between respecting people's rights to self-defense and protecting the public from damage.
And another thing is that, it's very possible that if people rely on guns too much, it can generate some sort of fear or mistrust, where they start feeling like they need to protect themselves at all costs, even when it hasn't really gotten to such extent.