I respectfully accept your choice, as does God.
Hope so. The thing is, unless I could really really mean everything I 'said' I believed, God would certainly know it and would (rightly) condemn me as a lying piece of shit. I'll have to just hope that He (or St. Peter or whoever) would recognize that I did my best to make sense of things and pick out what I though was right and good in what I was exposed to. And, conversely, pick out things which seemed bad and scammy and try to stand against them both within religion and within secular life. Time will tell.
The ironic thing is, God knows all this about you and me... and everybody else. God - Almighty - sent His Heavenly begotten Son, Jesus - Almighty - into humility as one of us. Jesus lived the life we couldn't, and because He is God with the Father, He took the punishment for all of us for all the wrong things we have done.
What we have done doesn't mean anything any longer. The fact that we are all lying pieces of shit doesn't matter any longer. There is one thing that matters. It simply is believing the truth that Jesus did the work, took the punishment and finished it. There isn't any condemnation any longer for any of us for things we did wrong, or believed wrong... except the one. The one is not believing that Jesus did it for us.
The third Person of God is the Holy spirit. His job is to gently entice us to believe about Jesus. If we reject His coaxing, that's the sin we will be punished for throughout eternity. Jesus took the punishment for the rest of the sins... all of them. He could do it because He is God Almighty. God won't punish for them a second time.
Why didn't Jesus take the punishment for the sin against the Holy Spirit? Because God created us with an aspect of "Godness" that gives us free will as He has. And He isn't going to take free will away from us, because there are all kinds of animals around that don't have free will. We are the "animal" that has free will. That's why the Holy Spirit coaxes. He is set by God to leave us our free will, at least regarding God and salvation.
The thing that I am writing here is a condensation of the major thread of the Bible. The Bible is this " " thick. My condensation of the theme of it will be lacking. But I hope that you get the idea.
So, you see? I can offer, coax, explain, hope (for you), etc., that you will change. But the choice to reject is yours. I MUST accept your decision.