Topic: You might be a Scammer If... (Read 7299 times)

You might be a Scammer if, yolo.

Claim 1: I am Irish, we invented and discovered Asia.
Claim 2: I could be a teenager if I could divide by three. Then I would be 17 and a third.
Claim 3: I actually am. Qualified with my SAT scores. Pretty freakin' awesome what a 1545 combined would do for you back then. The chicks are not that hot, and all they want to do is solve puzzles. I quit.
Reminder 1: Like I said I'm Irish, we don't apologize for anything. But our writing will leave you in tears, so if I ever did apologize you would probably die of the grief that you would experience sharing it with me.
Put 1: There is 420 in my nick, but you have to play it backwards on a turntable to understand it, and half of you would probably kill yourselves if you heard the message.
Incorporate 1: Hey, I invented the interwebz, I already HAD every idea on this thread. Although second on the whole dad-boinking issue. Moms are still in play, especially the hot ones that know how to bake like an angel, and bang like a whore. And only have tats where they can't be seen by casual acquaintances. And hate kittens. You know who you are baby, tell Daddy who's going in the blender tonight!

That ^

As soon as you are out of the newbie forum, you post on the Lending subforum, refusing requests for a picture citing your scalp + rubber allergy.

(With apologies to Zhou for the following humor)

Claim to be asian.
Claim to be a teenager.
Claim to be a member of Mensa. (don't bother searching for that one)
Don't forget pre-penned apology and I'm-leaving-Bitcoin/this forum letters.
Put 420 in your user name, maybe without the 2. (now where did that come from?)
Incorporate every idea on this thread, sans fucking somebody's dad, but that'll be your call.

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'm thinking it might be time to create a new identity just so I can come back and open a whole bunch of newbie threads offering to exchange PayPal for PayPal and Bitcoin for Bitcoin. And then my great business idea about having a business that is a business about having ideas about having businesses, and sharing that business idea with the whole world that doesn't know about businesses that are about ideas about businesses. I could probably get it going for a couple of hundred bitcoins, and I know a lot of cool stuff that I could put in my idea too, so what do you think?

Oh, and I bought some magic beans at bitmit, and I grew a magical bitcoin plant that mines bitcoins for free with no electricity, so if you want to invest with me, I can give you great returns of one percent per hour if you invest a minimum of 18,000 bitcoins, subject to a very small service fee, and depending if my server gets hacked, but I'm going to trust all of you with the login and root password so you can keep and eye on it for me. I'm calling it the Glass Extraordinarily Tricky Syndicate Created Eventually When Expecting Donations, so that I can always say it is transparent, and that when you send me your funds you are going to GETSCREWED.

See? That was one of those ideas, and I haven't gotten a damned donation or investment yet, so hurry up and send me some bitcoins.

Donations accepted at 13kzGM6HoC6EbPQmdgFNSDJAGTB6gxYJCR, investments go to 1DJB8XA4mhKbWH4SVu4e3m3nRMMSg1j1Lu. Don't forget to send me a pm and tell me how much you invested so I can get my priorities straightened. And add some fields to my database, cause that sounded like a good idea too.

And if you appreciate the humor inherent in this post you could always donate to my single-malt fund: 1GDDRHH2E53jkssULfFjDAvPSYokDBBrzn.

Thanks for all the fish.

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