Topic: A good joke? (Read 285 times)

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she shoves the lover into the closet.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside.  Want me to yell for him?"
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together.

Boy - "It's dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - Remembering last time, asks, "ok, How much?"
Boy - "$250."
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$500."

The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than those cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "It's dark in here."
The priest says, "oh no, don't start that crap again!"

Long ago I usually disturb my neighbors by pressing their door bell and run away
Till it got faulty and I touched it, and it shocked me.
I decide it Wont be only me that will get the electric shock. So I called my short friend Abu to press the bell. He was not able to reach so I carried him up.
Hmmn, what happened changed my life..
Since then I have never touch anything bell again..
Cow bell, door bell, church bell, house bell, school bell, even jingle bell, jingle bell,.... I don't sing it.
I don't even like the name Annabel, Mabel and Christabel again...
Because the fear of bell is the beginning of long life..

This is really funny. I like this

Bayo and his wife Ola received a letter
from their
daughter who went to study modern
physics
overseas. SHE WROTE~My beloved Parents, I
miss u
so much & it breaks my heart to think that
by d time i
get back, you will be too old. So, enclosed
you will
find a bottle of a red portion i have
invented. It will
make u young, so when i return, you will
be the same
age as i left u. NOTE: "Pls, take only a
drop."GoodBye
i love u! So they opened the envelope & in
it, is a
bottle with a red portion. The man looked
at his wife
& says U go first". So Ola takes a drop,
thereafter
Bayo follows. Indeed d wife turns 5yrs
younger. Years
later, the daughter returned home to find
her mother
young & pretty, carrying a baby on her
back. The
mother proceeds to tell her daughter how
d portion
worked & made her look young. D
daughter was
happy & asks after her father . "Your
Father?
Hmmmmm,, ur father was so jealous dat i
was so
young and beautiful, so he drank the
whole bottle.
Whaaaat? So where is he?" replied her
daughter.
Hmmmdey my back...

A commercial cyclist who is not used to putting on helmets; decided to go in for his bathe on getting home; only to run out shortly from the shower and was shouting spirits!!!

Calming him down, he narrated his ordeal how water wouldn't touch his head because spirits were in his bathroom. He felt so stupid on people's reminder that he was still putting on his helmet

Q.Which day of the week do chickens hate most?

A.FRY-DAY.

Defecating in class, when I was in elementary school. This is a joke or a disgusting thing 

My life is a complete joke, and such that I already can not smile!

Why dont blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.

We want to live like Donald Duck. Pants suck.

I'll give you a Yo Momma joke.

Yo Momma is sooo fat......

When she passed by the television...

I missed 7 episodes! xD

Im a genius. Thats it

this is a tagalog (philippine) joke but ill translate it in english

What did daddy donut say to the baby donut in the top of a tree?

Ans. Bavarian (baba riyan) translate it in english hehehe.

A gay man introducing his son to his mother: Mummy, meet my son
The mum: Biological, Chemical Physical or Legal son?

Jane: Hi John; what type of Jean excites you the most?
John: Oh sweety, It has to be a ripped Jean

On John's birthday, he woke up to Jane ripping most of his Jean trousers with scissors and then she greeted;
"Happy Birthday Honey"
The rest were stories!

I have three jokes for you. 

JOKE JOKE JOKE

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing father for 20$ worth of bitcoin.
Dad's reply: "18.32$ ? What do you need 23.47$ for??

Bolt's uncle asked bolt while going to America on Eid Holidays -
Mama: The nephew, what will you bring from America?
Boltu: A clay soil.
Mama: What? Everybody wants mobile, watch, laptop to maternal uncle. And you want to clay soil?
Boltu: Huh, take the soil for me. I do not want anything else
Mama: Why?
Boltu: Because I have a foot on your ground, I will say, 'I also laid feet on Eid Eid in America.'

I'm too handsome.

Men like to lay down to sleep beautiful, so beautiful and wake up. And women somehow get spoiled for the night ...