Topic: A long journey taken short - first and last journal entry of a failed trader. - page 2. (Read 458 times)

I can't think how it happens to you, it was of the worse case and I don't know what you do with your trades. Or maybe, you don't make it perfectly and your strategies being applied aren't working as well. I can see already how your Dad really disappointed for you and it was better to tell him early, and maybe he could help you either to decide and think the best thing to do before it all be empty.

I could see the hole for this and I think that you don't even have that knowledge and skill trading before you start. And for the aim that you can make money easier and get ROI quickly, it brings you into nowhere and this is the consequences you've got.

Too bad for him, I guess he's very compulsive when it comes to trading. A few years back when bitcoin is on its all time high, I see people getting crazy with it like everyone's newbie and asking how and where to buy it, I know from that time there is going to happen badly to them as the market slowly crashes and I knew for sure that they have lost on that event. It is just we expected to much from what is rising, we never see its shadow and so some are not in an ideal situation right now like the OP. May he resolve his problems especially his mental issue.

This is what I'm talking about since then, bitcoin is not a primary source of income and it will never be, same as trading that the profit is uncertain and if you make this as your job you are accepting to gamble your food in the table.

Trading is not that easier one like how people are sharing nor how it seems at first glance. At the same time, compared to forex markets or any other stock trading, I believe we got some chances to make profits with the crypto trading but you must try only on spot trading not the derivatives. Recently, I came across another sad story of a trader who lost big money just because of frequently hitting stoploss even he tried in crypto spot trading.

We must understand how bitcoin trading is basically working so that we can easily make good profits over the time. Just look at what Mr Satoshi is doing. He never touched their big stash of bitcoins and now become a billionaire out of bitcoins. I bet no active trader might have got chances to become billionaire out of their active trading of bitcoins but by simply buying and holding.

I mean to say just understanding the easiest way of making big money with bitcoin is simply buying and holding. Because, trading is not that easier unlike how most other people are sharing their success stories.

"My message to anyone who does read this. If you are trading profitable, great but do everything in your power to keep those gains. Trade once, gain and sit on hands for weeks  For those who are making losses more so than gains, quit. Dont dig down to an umclimbable hole. Cut the emotional attachment. Simply cut the bullshit."

This is real at it gets, most of the time we profit big, and we felt good and became trigger happy.
And suddenly we lose grip of what is happening, losses after losses and we are adamant and says to ourselves that we can bounce back and then we dig ourself to an unclimbable hole.

Thanks again for the reminder and I wish you well and do hope that you can somewhat recover.

Another sad read, but I'm glad you let it out here in this community, after all this is what community should be, sharing their experience, whether its bad. I can also relate but not in trading though, it's in gambling, I'm knee deep on loans because of my addiction, don't know where to start.

But it's good that I learn crypto, somewhat manage to enter the picture in 2017 was able to win some of my trades and early holding. Not too late though, I'm sure you can find ways to go back and recover as well. Best of luck mate.

This was a great read overall; I can relate to some of what's been written here since I also experienced almost devastating losses at the beginning of my trading career that likewise pushed me to reconsider even trading at all, but hopefully more people read posts or threads like this no matter how unfortunate the circumstances might be for the OP because very rarely do we get to see the story of the losing side of anything, not just trading. We talk about how bad emotions can be in trading, but rarely do we get to see the results of emotional trading.

I hope you'll be able to move on from this. If you push yourself hard enough, you'll be able to overcome this in time.

Actually a sad story to hear but man, you arent the only one who do experience on losing money here on crypto trading space.The mistake you have done here is that you are
just too overconfident which in result for your father money to get involved promising out to be good and get too excited into things which isnt even happening yet.
If you do got stressed too much or pressured on how you can repay him then its better to confess even though they would get angry but at least you are honest that you had committed a mistake.
When trading up, emotion is a big factor that can affect profitability and in the time you do treat it already as a sort of gambling then expect for these kind of common situations.
Thing here is that you should learned up to those mistakes and be cautious on next time you do tend to trade once again.

Once you tell your father about the situation trust me you will only have to think about how to earn money which will be much easier rather than trying to earn 28k which is near impossible in your current state of mind. Unlike gambling, you may develop your skills for trading over the time and you may start trading slowly with very small capital for beginning days.

I was a gambler and lost big sum of money in gambling and finally got power to stop my gambling then entered into trading and started with small profits from small capital and now I guess I have recovered all the losses incurred in gambling.

I can feel your pain and the problems you are going through because of the loss you suffered with trading but believe me for once, your parents are the ONLY ones who care for you, rest everyone is living for themselves and if you tell this story to a stranger you know what they will do?

They will try to get out the remaining 240 euros you mentioned. Such is this world, you can't honestly expect any help from outside to solve inner problems. Please have a big heart and try to confess what has happened to your father and believe me his anger would be only temporary but if you live with the guilt inside, you will feel the pain forever.

Welp, you reap what you sow? It's amazing how you accepted that you lost your trades because of your impulsiveness though. That's already one step forward towards changing for the better. Still, you made one fatal mistake before entering the market. You invested money you couldn't afford to lose. You even made yourself in debt because of it. Yes, BTC has great prospects and gives a lot of opportunities to profit a lot, but really, you don't need to rush it. You can take your time with it with the money you CAN lose.

Still, nice try in trading mate, good luck with whatever you're going to do now. I hope the losses you experienced from here can be avoided in your next venture to wherever.

I can relate with your pain because someone in my close family did something like that, it wasn't trading but it was some land issue through which they made a big amount of loss but the difference between you and him is that he always had a positive intent in life and shared his troubles with his mother because his father was unfortunately paralyzed a few years ago in some accident.

Now what happened once he shared his problem is that his mother gave a hefty amount of money to him by selling some precious items which I don't want to mention here and the money was used to help him setup a business and if you look at him today he is earning well enough to lead a happy life and his mother is overjoyed when she looks back.

My advice to you: Please first of all relax your mind and understand that you are not the only one who makes mistake, we all do and your intent was right it was not like you spent money on drugs so have the courage and share your problems with your father/mother.

The problem so far before doing trade :

• Did explain well to your dad about the risked trading/investment at crypto or other investment, you should explain first the risk if he accepts that then no need to worry. You just explained to your dad in the wrong perception at the beginning, tell him a promise will be rich and other stuff like that without explained him about the risk.
• Loans for the trader, now the biggest issue you taking the loans for trading purpose. It's not a good option for me, using the money of a loan with your own free money there have some different its about the psychology went doing a trade. Using free money you can more relax than using the money of a loan if you ask me did i lose a thousand dollars in crypto? I answer it yes, but most of my lose from my passive income working at the internet never spend my own money from my pocket. I also have story at 2017, buying some coins with 0.06 BTC (600-800 USD) still holding right and now the value 20-30$ but i don't give a shit about that. Just always thinking, because not spend it from my own pocket so don't really care and always see the positive mindset at least i already got a lot profit too trading & working as passive income at here.

The suggestion from me.
You should take a rest try to resolve to relax your mind first if you already have a good mood you should thinking to resolve your problem with your dad. I think you should talk the truth with your father, keeping him lie about that it's not really good just to make you more stressful.

Goodluck to solve your problem.

This post is more for me and closure rather than it is for you to read. Although, if you do read it and gain a lesson from my experience, good for you. I dont have the balls to tell my family. Not sure I've come to terms with what I've done. Hopefully writing this post and knowing its "out there" will help begin processing it.

Well. Here i am. 28K in the hole, 240 euros left after 2 years of trading. 10k in bank loans. 18k investment from my father. "Bitcoin is going to be the best thing dad. I can trade it up for us. This time next year, we will be millionaires. I'll make you proud. I'll make you enough money to retire" Fuck!!! I've completely fucked that up!! And here I am still lying, still telling him it is doing great. Not even sure where to begin in telling him.

 I was so adamant i was a good trader. I could be one of the best. I got my wins. They were great but my losses far out weighted my wins. My trades from where I won were pure setups. I had been watching the market. I had been studying technical analysis for hours every day. Each time a set up came which had a higher probability to win than lose, I'd trade it and win. I'd take my profits. I'd close my trade. Great....

5 minutes later I'm back in a trade, the same amount of contracts not knowing where the fuck price was going but I just had to have a trade open. I had to be in the game. I couldn't sit on the sidelines.

Each and every god damn time. I'd have a good win, I'd lose all the profits  and and cut deeper into my account not only losing profits but jesus.. 5 - 10% of my account value. For instance, recently I push my account back from 0.43 to 0.65 in a single trade. Quite literally 24 hrs later, I'm down to 0.32. Half. I halved my account in less than 24 hrs just taking stupid trades. Wiping all profits and more. Oh btw, you idiot (referring to myself) this is after injecting another 8k on the 11th of Feb bringing my total up to 28k in debt.

What's the lesson here. Wait for your setup. Get in. Get out. And sit to wait for the next, not win and jump back in random fucking trades killing yourself.

I already suffer from mental health issues. This whole situation is taking its toll. Tomorrow is my kids joint birthday and here is daddy writing this post with scary thoughts running though his head ( i go through spirals of it - they get worse with trading).

Dad. Not sure if I will be ever able to pay you back. I'm done with trading though. Turns out it's not for me. I do believe bitcoin is going to do great things and there is money to be made but as for me, your son, you are better off buying it and holding it spot for a few years. Youd be up 3 ish bitcoin by now not 0.03.

To my family. I'm sorry that I have failed on one of the biggest financial opportunities of a life time. Being the emotional person I am the remorse and horror I feel having not been able to give you what you all deserve as a reward from it is one if my single greatest demons and regrets.

You see. I can trade to a certain degree but given my emotional state and addictive personality, any wins I got, i lost based on impulsive and emotional trading, the need for always being in a trade to get that release of dopamine and financial gain.

Anyone of tells you the market is a losers game or no one successes at it, they are wrong but its does take a certain emotional control for it to not become gambling.

I dont know if I can ever pay this money back. I dont know if I can ever tell you all but it will all come out when it's all over the news and everyone's talking about it at 78k per coin and we dont  have a single thing to show. Will I be there to tell ye, who knows.

My message to anyone who does read this. If you are trading profitable, great but do everything in your power to keep those gains. Trade once, gain and sit on hands for weeks  For those who are making losses more so than gains, quit. Dont dig down to an umclimbable hole. Cut the emotional attachment. Simply cut the bullshit.

I do hope that writing this will help me get closure and aid in coming out to those I need to with what I have done. And maybe someone on here will learn something.

But for me. This is it. The end of a post. End of my bitcointalk journey. My first journal entry on trading. My last journal entry too. I wish you all the best. And if you can, wish me luck on resolving all this and holding my mental health and thoughts at bay.

Theguywholost.

** Update to you all **

Wow. Really did not expect this kind of response from anyone. This has me taken back a little to be honest, reading through all the comments. I didnt think I'd log back in here but I'm glad I did. Guys really, thank you all ever so much for the advice above, i spoke with a friend and he advised some of the same many of you all mentioned.

As an update on my dad. I have yet develop the courage to tell him. I know I will in time but it will take some time. The unconditional love and care he has for me, as I have for him, will get us both through it I believe. He has always been there for me through all my teenage mishaps and never once turn his back on me. I say this, as most would but I do have the greatest dad in the world. Just hope i can be as too as his son.

As for me personally, my health took more of a toll on me from stress of all this than I ever expected. My mental health is somewhat healing for now but... about 2 weeks after posting this, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The trading failing, mental health state and this cancer crap all came in one big box, everything hopping out one after the other over a period of weeks. I firmly believe the stress of all this, that I put myself through was the trigger for it. And now given my financial status, we are going to struggle to meet the fucking healthcare I will need. Even if I can fucking get it at all. My country doesn't have healthcare. It all costs mega.

So now, I could potentially have ended my own life my losing all this money I'm sure my dad would have used to help me. The fucking god damn irony of it all makes me want to vomit.

I dont know if there is anyone out there. Anyone who was read this who would help me out. I'm going to leave a bitcoin address here. I am not expecting anything as this is karma I guess but maybe I've done something good in my life which may turn around to help me now. They do say karma is a bitch and maybe it ends that way. Who the fuck knows.

Guys. Again. Thank you all so so much for the comments ye left. Trading may be a hard and cruel but what many of ye said above shows that their is really good people out there.

Thanks.

TheGuyWhoLost

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(Someone in the comments below posted concern on the potential of this being a scam. I explain above I do not expect anything but am leaving address in hope. I do not want to be associated with scams therefore posting some proof, as the commenter requested, in form of a letter from my GP to employer  https://ibb.co/hxNBXwj )