It was a late sunday afternoon on the French Antilles. Satoshi Nakamoto, me and some of the boys were having Martinis in a cosy beach side cafe named "The lazy Shepherd", giving each other cues on how to improve our speed seduction pickup skills with the island population. However, we were all so ridiculously bad at this we made ourselves cringe with tears until some guy proposed the introduction of a commodity-based tipping system that would encourage us to improve our performance. One of us suggested Martinis, but we were so pissed already, the game wouldn't have lasted long. Another one said "Shells!", but we couldn't be fucked to go around the beach looking for shells. We were lost. Then Satoshi gave a loud sigh from under his straw hat, stood up, squeezed his HP Mini under his armpit and, before heading for the restrooms, groaned: "BRB."
As night slowly crept down upon us we realized we could see a flickering light on the beach off in the distance. While walking toward the light, Sato said softly and almost to himself, “It’s a campfire, what are those girls doing?” As we approached the campfire we saw three beautiful blonds dressed in the smallest bikini’s I have ever seen. One of them was holding something. I think it was a…………
A magical bitcoin, at that, for we all know that blondes are not indigenous on the French Antilles.
Sato took the coin that was handed to him, whereupon he immediately transformed into...
…Matt Damon. A rush came over him and he felt instantly stupid and seemed compelled to jump out of windows while yelling Barack Obama has no balls. Using his mathematical and coding powers, he fought against the magic spell until he finally passed out on the beach. He awoke to find a ……..
Red haired mermaid that could not speak. she showed our brave protagonist a diagram of SHA-256 and he...
"But wise and exalted Satoshi Damon, What shall we do with this bounty of code you have bequeathed unto us"? I know a good developer named Luke who can...
…., use it to attack all competitors alt coins but what will you do now.” Sato said, “……
"Gavin replied, with a resolute tone in his voice and demeanor, " Sato, I will go out and do good things with what you have given me. I will free the people from their fiat misery. I will spread your word, Satoshi San. Where can I find you if I eve need...
Satoshi grinned and touched Gavin's chest.
He whispered, "Right here..."
He calmly slid his arm from his chest and slowly faded into the ocean's mist. A single glistening tear drifted down Gavin's right cheek...
"I have grown, but there is still much to be done. Many live in the darkness that must be shown the way. For it is the dawning of a new day."
He pulled out his revolver and shot the goat.
Days later he headed to the Pentagon to meet with his CIA operatives and committee. The committee that sat before him were the world's most powerful. The trust fund managers of the Rockefeller and Rothschild families. A representative from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.The Goldman Sachs CEO and a shadowy figure that sat in the far corner and constantly typed into his HP Mini.
They were all impressed with the Bitcoin currency and wanted their voices to be heard.
They formed the BIP 16 and 17 initiatives...
Meanwhile, two guys fresh back from holiday in Pattaya, announced an expo to the Bitcoin community, programming great things are in stored for Bitcoin, and major announcements will be made at the expo, but...
...Rassah's coffee table was put up for auction causing an influx of fur-obsessed users to purchase the currency. The Bitcoin community was soon flooded with...
...an influx of scammers promising to sell iPads, iPhones and Tablets for Bitcoins. Unfortunately, many people fell victim of these evil doers.
Eventually a group of respectable individuals formed the ...
...buy out Mitt Romney's campaign and replace him with Vermin Supreme. By guaranteeing every person in the United States a free pony he could then...
f-i-i-t-a.
