Topic: Answer the question above with a question. - page 189. (Read 656171 times)

"Are they talkin' 'bout us?"

Does it have nearly enough goats, and what's the question to 42?

Are these guys really liberating that poor cow or putting it in there?

How did that cow get in there?

lol..how do i question that?

"Which one of you towel-heads do I thank for liberating me?"

Is that a bovine version of the libertarian manifesto?

Why would i want to?

Why wouldn't you want to?

do we all have to read that?

Is it possible --

"It is in the sincere hope of providing people the wherewithal to bring Cow to justice that this letter is offered to an intelligent and discriminating public. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that Cow's legates have the gall to accuse me of intensifying race hatred. Were these selfish adolescents born without a self-awareness gene? It is bootless to speculate on the matter, but it should be noted that a vivid realization of the caducity of life is what motivates me to put to rest costive and illogical perceptions such as Cow's. Every time I strike that note, which I guess I do a lot, I hear from people calling me anti-democratic or beer-guzzling. Here's my answer: Cow's detractors are correct in their observation that Cow should exercise greater judiciousness when extolling conformism. Stated differently, she likes crushing the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to her jokes, which puts her somewhere between an abominable carouser and a quixotic stubborn-type on the gnosticism org chart. This may sound like caricature, but Cow rewards those who show scrupulous adherence to her worldview and punishes those who keep her cringers at bay. Do I blame society for this? No, I blame Cow.

"Don't let Cow delude you into thinking that her debauches are the result of a high-minded urge to do sociological research. She's just trying to ransack people's homes. Even if our society had no social problems at all we could still say that her reportages are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us one of these days. Here, too, we can see how while she has been beating the drums of aspheterism, I've been trying to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of negligent imperialism. In doing so, I've learned that Cow wants nothing less than to sidetrack us so we can't examine the warp and woof of her exegeses, hence her repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of her stiff-necked squibs. She has been trying to popularize the narrative that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. My fear is that if she's successful at promoting such cockamamy notions then even the man on the Clapham omnibus may agree to let her turn the world's most civilized societies into pestholes of death, disease, and horror.

"We need the space and autonomy to fight the campaigns that can hurt us, but I guess nobody ever explained that to Cow's emissaries. Although Cow babbles on and on about Jacobinism, she has no more conception of it than any other malicious blockhead. While the question of who is right and who is wrong in this case is an interesting one, it is also something that I cannot and will not comment on, and not just because if it were true, as she claims, that my bitterness at her is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish, then I wouldn't be saying that we must all face the storm and stress of celebrating knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. This exercise will, at the very least, demonstrate to the world that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Lewd, shambolic tin-pot tyrants like Cow, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in cold-blooded untoward-types in order to convince them to pursue a socially inept agenda under the guise of false concern for the environment, poverty, civil rights, or whatever. Cow has no discernible talents. The only things she has doubtlessly mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Cow is also good at convincing people that she is the one who will lead us to our great shining future, but my point is that Cow will do everything in her power to get me to roll over and play dead. I don't have to take that lying down. That's why I'm going to tell you a little story about how the only thing bigger than the chip on Cow's shoulder is the grossness of her causeries. Still, I recommend you check out some of Cow's wisecracks and draw your own conclusions on the matter.

"Anyone who hasn't been living in a cave with his eyes shut and his ears plugged knows that Cow never stops boasting about her generous contributions to charitable causes. As far as I can tell, however, her claimed magnanimousness is absolutely chimerical, and, furthermore, Cow would have us believe that she has the authority to issue licenses for practicing egotism. Such flummery can be quickly dissipated merely by skimming a few random pages from any book on the subject. Cow's continual falsifications of history neatly illustrate her adherence to factionalism. Let me explain. I recently stated that I am willing to put my neck on the line to rail against the pseudoscience that attempts—and continually fails—to prove that Cow has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring herself to help disseminate the True Faith of McCarthyism. I had considered my comment to be fairly anodyne, but Cow went into quite a swivet over it. I guess if she found that sort of comment offensive, she should indisputably cover her ears when I state that she has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then uninformed undesirables will be free to make people weak and dependent. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how Cow's argument that her prudish band is a respected civil-rights organization is hopelessly flawed and thoroughly circuitous.

"Since most people oppose Cow's horny contrivances, she has had to step on other people's toes using every crass means imaginable. This cannot go on much longer. This applies first and foremost to a cabal under whose foolish brand of Oblomovism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: Cow's army of directionless, ludibrious schnooks. It will not be easy to take a no-nonsense approach to dealing with the most ophidian heretics I've ever seen. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that for the overriding reason that she has got to go—and yesterday isn't soon enough. Cow claims to have read somewhere that she has been robbed of all she does not possess. I don't doubt that she has indeed read such a thing; one can find all sorts of crazy stuff on the Internet. More reliable sources, however, tend to agree that Cow complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that she hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today.

"Cow is planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is her gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable her to feed us a fanciful load of horse manure as unassailable truth. Let me try to put this in perspective: We must prevent the production of a new crop of amateurish sewer rats. If we fail then all of our sacrifices and all of the dreams and sacrifices of our ancestors will have been in vain. The key is to realize that Cow wants to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships that exist throughout our entire society. Who does she think she is? I mean, she has—not once, but several times—been able to instill a general ennui without anyone stopping her. How long can that go on? As long as her grungy stratagems are kept on life support. That's why we have to pull the plug on them and cast a gimlet eye on her words.

"It is true that Cow and her cultists are wolves in sheep's clothing who will resort to underhanded tactics in the immediate years ahead, but it is immature and stupid of her to protect undeserved privilege. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she makes decisions based on random things glamorized by the press and the resulting rantings of infelicific morons, and that's why I say that her most steadfast claim is that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. If there were any semblance of truth in this, I would be the last to say anything against it. As it stands, however, it is more than a purely historical question to ask, “How did Cow's reign of terror start?” or even the more urgent question, “How might it end?”. No, we must ask, “What will be the next object of attack from Cow's coterie?” Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check.

"Cow functions not as a social critic but as an unoriginal imitator of the ruling ideologues. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. Cow's goal is to foment, precipitate, and finance large-scale wars to emasculate and bankrupt nations and thereby force them into a one-world government. How dissolute is that? How daffy? How pestiferous?

"Given this context, we need to return to the idea that motivated this letter: Cow's beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments) promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Cow's confreres because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Cow. It may seem at first that some bleeding-heart warmongers don't have a clue. When we descend to details, however, we see that Cow contends that she can scare us by using big words like “piezocrystallization”. Excuse me, but where exactly did this little factoid come from? She should think about how her traducements lead twisted dumbbells to make excessive use of foul language. If Cow doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps she should just keep quiet. She has once again been committing acts of banditry and insurgency. Although for her, this behavior is as common as that of adulterous politicians seeking forgiveness from God and spouse, she makes a living out of emotionalism. I call this tactic of hers “entrepreneurial emotionalism”. Cow and her followers have honestly raised entrepreneurial emotionalism to a fine art by using it to pander to headstrong hucksters.

"Cow somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that she's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. I don't know what to do about the rise in animalism I see all around me. Cow's solution. not surprisingly, is to use organized violence to suppress opposition. This is one case in which the cure is really worse than the disease. As a closing statement, let me emphasize that we have no choice but to make an impartial and well-informed evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of Cow's sophistries. The time to act is now."

-- to believe otherwise?

Why do you worry about cows?

Is that bad for cows?

Can I haz cheezburger?

cheeseburger?

when ?

where?

what?

Good question, but... are we supposed to quote all that?

Do you think they would like, "There was this cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both Gay-ass Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the united states of America aka: U.S.A which is really actually kinda dirty in the cities and the government is all corrupt and stuff kinda like that such as the country of Somalia which doesn't even Have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness book of world records which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that matters because us human beings have mothers unless they die or run off with some CEO of a big company or someone else who makes a lot of money and then they leave you with your dad and you are jealous of your friends if you have any because they have moms and you don't because your mom was some greedy pig who wanted money and sex but ended up only getting the money part and she bought drugs because she was depressed and ended up killing herself from an overdose and you wouldn't even know about it until you become some rich person and check the files somewhere and learn that she died of a overdose and you eyes get all teary and then you start crying because you know that you wouldn't be alive without that woman you called mom and I just found out right now that the longest sentence is like 10,000 words so I have a ways to go and you have to go with me so let's go to 6th gear and throw out some words like Emphysema which I had to do a report on in 4th grade because we had a ton of projects and this was the disease one and we chose diseases out of a hat and I came out with Emphysema which is a form of lung cancer which is 98% caused by smoking which reminds me of the way my dad describes smoking: "you get plant leaves, wrap them in paper, light it on fire and suck on it" which is normally a sentence but not today because I'm setting out on the quest for a long sentence that I'm typing up which reminds me of a story my grandpa told me about himself when he was "your age" about how they covered the letters on the type writers and they had to type so that they could memorize where the letters are on a type writer and my grandpa says he will never regret taking that class because it helped him out a lot when it came to typing and now a days he is not bad a typing at all because He is almost as fast as me because I am a pretty fast typer and writing this article isn't taking very long and expect being pretty far pretty soon at the pace I'm going right now so there are going to be some serious records getting busted when I'm finally finished writing this article on this dumb website which will probably end up huffing this article even though it is fun-packed and joyful and keeps the reader reading when they use that excuse to mom saying "just one more sentence" but that sentence is 10,000 words long and still continuing to go at a reasonable pace and it is going to shatter most of those long sentence records just like how the chargers are going to shatter the most consecutive years without a super bowl win record and I doubt that they will win one in the near future but they patriots are going to win some serious super bowls because they are the best team ever even better than the cowboys or 49ers and no one cares a bout them so go patriots and boo chargers even though I live in San Diego and Like the Padres I hate the Chargers because they are bad and the padres are bad too but I don't care because they are my favorite team and the dodgers are my least favorite along with the Yankees because the Yankees get a lot of money to spend and the padres and marlins get almost nothing and then the Yankees buy a-rod for a lot and the Rays get almost no money but are still fighting for first place this season without expensive players like Derek jeter or a-rod or johnny damon or whoever because they are an all around better team that can beat the Yankees even though the Yankees can beat the royals a lot who really suck because they suck more that the padres do and so do the mariners and Rockies even thought the Rockies went to the world series last year they lost and haven't stopped losing for a while now, either and they are last place in the nl west and that is where the padres used to be but they started hitting homeruns and winning games and are dong pretty good right now despite having little offense except for Adrian Gonzalez who is leading the NL in RBI's even though he is on the team who scores the least runs in the league but they are not last in homeruns though they are like 5 away or something but I’m not sure so screw that and let's talk about something fun like water or food or dirt or something but I think food is the best because their is a lot of things to talk about with food like you r favorite food which mine happens to be some spicy burrito form Chipotle mexican grill and it is very good just like this macaroni my mom made one time that had bread crumbs on top and it was very good like all of the food they serve on top chef which I wish I could be a judge for because they have a lot of good food on that show and it makes my mouth water whenever I watch it and that is why I watch it because the food is totally awesome and sometimes I hate the people but they end up getting eliminated like the Dance crews in America's Best Dance Crew which is a great show and you should watch it because people do good dancing like the jabbawockeez because they won the first season and they are very good just like supreme soul and So real crew and phresh select and super cr3w and I’m only at 1500 words right now so I have to write some serious stuff like a life biography about myself and anything I’ve ever done which includes going to big bear to ski, fishing, breathing, swimming, going, farting, eating, sleeping and a whole lot more stuff which reminds me of 4th grade again when my teacher was debating with the class whether "a lot" was one or two words and all of the kids including myself said one while the teacher said two and he was right and we were wrong but no one cared because we all had fun arguing about and I have fun arguing with my friends about football and not baseball because in baseball we all like the same team but in football I like the patriots and my friends like the chargers and the 49ers and the eagles and the saints but my team always woops their team's ass and they say that the patriots "cheat" and that's how they won even though the patriots just pwned their team and they suck and my team is good but we all agree when it comes to baseball because we all like the padres and we never really argue over anything in baseball which is my favorite sport and I play it and I am good a it and I want it to be my profession but I doubt that that will happen so my backup plan is being a cop because you get all of the benefits and you get paid after you retire which is good news and I would also like to be some government dude or something like that because they get the benefits too so it would be cool to work for the government which reminds me that my principal worked at the white house and taught the president email because he was the computer guy or something like that so h knows a whole bunch of computer crap like my dad and he is fat too so everyone makes fun of him and I think he huffs kittens too but I am not sure and about that and what the hell is up with all the n00b and kitten huffing on this gay ass website like all of the things like "the writer may have been huffing kittens" and stuff like that it really annoys the hell out of me just like other things such as when people clip their finger nails it makes that weird noise that get me all crazy and I hate it just like how me friend hates the sound of chalk on a chalkboard which I find soothing and relaxing but he gets really annoyed and psyched out and he is also very pale-skinned and so is the rest of his family so it must have been some genetic thing like twins and clones and whole bunch of other confusing science crap that I learned a long time ago in 7th grade or something which was when we watched movies in class like UHF which has weird al in it and it is very funny because weird al has to save a TV station with a whole bunch of weird shows like wheel of fish and rauls wild kingdom with a whole bunch of cool animals like flamingos and turtles and stuff like that but who cares lets get to the meaty part of this article which is the part where I write the longest word known to man which is Methionylthreonylthreonyl...isoleucine which is cut out because it has 189,819 words so wikipedia had to cut out the middle part and the longest word is the name of a protein which is the largest known to man to so big names go to big things is apparently the moral of this story ladies and gentleman the road doesn't stop here and I have to continue no matter what you say or think so I should just write some story now that has no periods so lets start with a guy named Carl who liked fish and women and he went to Clara’s house and they had a good sex but that isn't enough of a story to set the record so I think I’ll just stick to writing random crap which really makes no sense at all and here is some random picture



that shows a guy who has two legs and another guy who has three who is mocking the guy with two legs because he rips his flesh in disgust every night and you think about who would be dumb enough to rip their flesh instead of cut the ring off or something that doesn't involve entirely gruesome crap like that and I have another life after this one just like how cats have 9 lives I have three because I’m on my second one right now and it is great and you might think I’m a whole new person but you are thinking wrong it's just when I died I came back t life and next time I die I’ll come back to life again and then when I die I’ll be dead for sure which reminds me of Stephen king's book called pet sematary which is coo because people come back to life because there was a burial ground that bring people back to life if they are dead and that book is a great book and you should read it along with the Harry potter series which has magic in it and it is cool too so don't shank yourself when you are cutting that meat for dinner or you might die of massive blood loss or might just need a band aid I mean that works too or you don't even need a band aid because I don't use them and I have never gotten and infection in my life so maybe I’m lucky or have an alligator immune system or something but I don't use band aids and I don't use Neosporin on my cuts so I’m some sort of miracle I guess but I’m wasting twenty minutes of my miracle life on this retard article that I just want the Guinness book of world records to see and go that is the longest thing ever and have me in their book so I’m striving towards that goal right now and I’m not stopping until I hit at least 3000 words and then I’ll do the construction thing and finish thing up tomorrow or sometime after now and I will be the author of the longest single sentence on the planet earth which will be a real accomplishment on my part so you can be real jealous right now because I am making history right in front of you and if you are still reading this I am truly impressed because this article must be getting really boring by now and maybe your not even reading this just scanning the article for periods which I’m afraid you will not find until the very end of this article which is a very, very, long way away and if you are a slow reader well sucks for you but now I have to use that construction thing and I will finish this and now I am back after a hard day at work but I’m still going now so get ready to rumble with this long thing called a sentence that is as long as Mt. Everest is tall and the Marinas Trench is deep and speaking of the ocean fish of all kinds live in the ocean such as puffer fish which are poisonous to eat if not prepared right and will make you die after and you ADMINS BETTER NOT DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS SOME RECORD and if you do delete it well I will have this saved and what will you do then you people who will want to delete this because you don't care about people trying to break records so don't delete this or I will boycott Uncyclopedia and will be very mad at you guys like how I am Mad at Tim for being so annoying just like Celebrities and loud people and people who don't brush their teeth which makes me think of killing myself except I wouldn't do that because I am some sort of miracle as you probably read before or not because you are tired of reading this jumble of words that are still making a grammatically correct sentence that is breaking records right now and I won't stop until you let me break some serious records like longest sentence and some other weird stuff that I might get an award for or something but I also want that Guinness record plaque that you get for setting a monster record like most consecutive noses picked with boogers in them or something completely obscure like that which is like a bunch of the articles on this website which are actually some times funny like how to solve a 1x1x1 Rubik’s cube which made me laugh pretty good and the star wars one is good too so never delete those two because they are funny unlike this article because this article is more boring than funny but who cares some retard might laugh at this bundle of crap and I think that I will put that crap tag on this article so people know that this article isn't really funny but that it is long and boring like Dances with Wolves and some other long movies that you actually fall asleep during which is hard for me to do so I tend not to nut I did when I watched Dances with Wolves because it was really boring like counting sheep to a trillion or some other large number that some little kid says he wishes he had that many dollars but he will never get that many dollars because there isn't even that many in circulation right now and if there was that would be some major inflation right there so don't think you can get that much money kid because then you would not be doing this country a favor which it desperately needs I might add so instead burn money instead of make it and lower inflation rates and do everyone a favor except for the people who are already really rich and don't care about inflation and would rather drive an escalade instead of a Prius in times like this with all of the gas prices and stuff that would drive up your bill but they don't notice because they have a lot of money and don't care therefore they should die and burn in hell with all of the lawyers and other bad people on this ball we call earth that really isn't a perfect sphere because of the mountains and valleys makes it look all jagged but from space it looks like a sphere but looks may be deceiving so don't think that the world is a sphere no matter what other people say and tell them to f*** themselves when they try to convince you that the earth is really a sphere but it isn't just like how most ignorant people think that Columbus found America but he really didn't that was amerigo Vispucci and Columbus really found the Bahamas thinking they were islands outside of china and he was wrong so everyone forget Columbus and remember some other sailor like Henry Hudson who tried to find the northern passage but didn't so his crew killed him but a he was a great man any way so remember him instead of Columbus or remember William Penn who created Pennsylvania or remember your grandma or someone but not Columbus so go ahead and think that the earth is flat even though it isn't and it can have for corners if you think about it so go die and fall off a cliff or something interesting like that or at least get a life that want’ to se a cool record like the one I'm setting right now so go to a pawnshop and buy a life or kill yourself and get a new one or something weird like that or I will force you to and if you are still reading this you are an amazing human because I forget most of the stuff I’ve written already except for the great white shark thing at the beginning of the article and I remember that I need to go see some good movies tomorrow or sometime in the near future like within a week or something but forget that I'm only at 3500 words now so lets go to 4000 and then maybe I’ll call it quits because this is boring and I would rather write another article that is good and long but not all one sentence like this one so let's come up with some final five hundred words or so to say before I stop writing all of the nonsense so let's brainstorm ideas like poo, ducks, lemons, flanges, more ducks and star wars which sound about like enough and I like star wars out of there so let's talk about some fun star wars stuff like Kit Fisto who has weird tentacle things on his head and Ki-Adi-Mundi who has two brains and is on the Jedi council which is a great honor and privilege because it is and Kit Fisto gets killed by Palpatine in the 3rd movie like Mace Windu who is cool and I like his light saber because it is purple unlike the standard blue and green colors which I prefer green out of but most people seem to like the blue colors but who cares about them they like blue and green is better so you better not like blue or you are some lame person that will be lame for the rest of your life like some people who think that they are cool but are really posers and they live their life not knowing that they are continually mocked and made fun of all of the time behind their backs and that they are really dumb or something so go out and tell all of the posers you know to not be posers anymore and tell them that they should go jump in a lake or something insulting like that and make them run and cry and you can laugh at them and hope they don't tell their mom who will be mad at you so maybe you shouldn't even do that you should just laugh at them behind their backs while they live the poser life and I'm near 4000 words now so let me slow down now yeah I have about a hundred words left so let me write down the exact amount before I stop writing so let me finish this thing up by talking about donuts and their fried goodness and how they make you fat and stuff but they do taste good so you should eat them because they are good and they taste good even though you could get fat but no one cares so eat them and be happy and I am starting to near 4000 now so just be a bit patient and this has been fun guys so let me finish right about, where you should wait for it, and wait, 'till right about, where we are almost there, having just two more for that you should wait, while this actually isn’t going to stop because I want this to keep going for a little while longer so that I can still break some record but man am I tired so I think I will actually shut up now, nope this has to continue forever and will continue for years and then a Bert killed the 3-legged guy and ate his orange while pooping and then I shall say the bird's name is "a bird who walked across the street killed a guy with a Minecraft nose and stuff."?