Retirement should be a time to enjoy our remaining days and reminisce and cherish the memory of our younger selves, but unfortunately, some go back to the things they enjoyed in their younger days. One of these is gambling, and since money is not a problem for a pensioner, winning and losing are not a problem, so when he wins, that means a celebration with friends and bettors to boast his gambling adventure.
This happens with retirees, so it is better that when a person retires, he has something to do with his wife or loved ones, and it should not be gambling, he may enjoy his retiring days by gambling, but it will take a toil in his health that will have a bad effect in the family
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Topic: Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling (Read 309 times)
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
Nothing of such. It is really a bad situation for someone's family to wish them to lose in gambling. That means the wish of bad luck in life because winning is progressing and losing is a set back. In the instant matter in discussion, I think that the wife should look for another means to make his husband responsible either by calling his family to the matter. But if she can't stop him on that then she should allow him since he is not making loses but profiting. It is better to make profit than loses and that is what he use in taking care of her and the family, if he stop gambling maybe such money or income may also seize to come. So which does she prefer
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners.
Declining or avoiding to drink with him only is not the solution. The friends can help to advise him against unnecessary drinking and spending but to save those money coming to him.
Maybe for some wives, they don't like seeing how their husbands are involved in gambling again and gambling away money that he should use for more important needs. Moreover, in the case you mentioned, they are both retired, meaning they are old and should enjoy more time together, their husband should no longer be involved in gambling, especially cockfighting gambling. And as far as I know, cockfighting is quite dangerous gambling because it is in an environment that is not conducive, and we don't know what situations might occur. And he always drinks and has fun with his friends after winning - who wouldn't be irritated to see conditions like this. That's why it's quite reasonable if his wife is quite annoyed to see what her husband is doing.
Your neighbor's husband is an alcoholic, and gambling has nothing to do with it. Even if you completely remove gambling from his life, he will find a reason to drink alcohol. This is a disease that causes addiction, and here two passions come together. A passion for alcohol and a passion for gaming is quite a nuclear combination. I sincerely feel sorry for women whose husbands become alcoholics, and if there are no close people with such a person, then in the end the matter will have a very disastrous outcome.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
We won't actually put it this way, as it sounds somehow like our loved ones kind of dislikes or is being jealous when we make wins. Well, if they actually care for you so much then they might go to the extreme to make sure you are safe and fine. From your story, the man's wife was literally looking out for him as he may be harming himself with his winnings celebrations. As his wife she cares for him and is also Happy about his wins but it seems that he gets too excited about them.I'll just suggest you guys as his friends not leave him after his win. Join him in his celebration but find something else for him to celebrate with instead of drinking. It can be food and soft drinks with good quality. Though as a gambler after most of our wins we just want to get the fun of it.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
I think if a husband indulges in many vices starting from gambling, a good wife is enough to bring him back from them. Because a man can easily be destroyed by a woman if she wants to and can turn him from bad to good. So I think if one has a good wife then that person can never indulge in bad deeds because his wife will always try to keep him away from bad deeds.
Does that include praying for their failure?
Like I mentioned before, there are several ways to achieve this and choosing for someone to fail so that they’ll look your way shouldn’t be an option for you [unless you want to somehow repay them what they have lost and were supposed to win] - she could have spoken with those friends and let them know that the drinking was becoming excessive and they should help her talk to her husband if he could reduce it, that’s one option.
Another is to confront her husband, and tell him face on that she does not like the behavior and let him see the reason why - if he’s a good husband he’ll try his best to reduce it or perhaps even stop it completely for the sake of his wife. Those are far better options than praying her husband does not win so that he won’t see money to buy his drinks if he fails to win after several tries he’ll only turn to his pension money and start using from there to buy those drinks.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
I think if a husband indulges in many vices starting from gambling, a good wife is enough to bring him back from them. Because a man can easily be destroyed by a woman if she wants to and can turn him from bad to good. So I think if one has a good wife then that person can never indulge in bad deeds because his wife will always try to keep him away from bad deeds.
This is hard.
We know that drinking and gambling for retired people are bad because their body are more vulnerable, drinking would affect their stomach, liver, kidney etc, while gambling could make them get heart attack due to adrenaline rush.
But, retirement is when people enjoying the rest of their life right? if they happy with this decision, isn't we're taking their happiness?
Only his wife can limit him, they both need to communicate this problem instead of asking other people help.
We know that drinking and gambling for retired people are bad because their body are more vulnerable, drinking would affect their stomach, liver, kidney etc, while gambling could make them get heart attack due to adrenaline rush.
But, retirement is when people enjoying the rest of their life right? if they happy with this decision, isn't we're taking their happiness?
Only his wife can limit him, they both need to communicate this problem instead of asking other people help.
Philippines right? 
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
This is inevitable when you marry a gambling addict. Even if you curse him and do everything to make him stop, he will still find ways to gamble secretly. And you will only find out once he lose all his pension. Just like those who’s slave for cigarettes, they will only stop until their health is at stake.This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
The best thing a wife can do is just to talk to his husband heart to heart. He can enjoy his money but not to the extent of putting his wife miserable in life. Gambling is really entertaining if you know how to play and manage your funds, but if you end up abusing not just your funds but your health as well, I’m sure everything will end up in a worst scenario.
I wonder what she was thinking when she asked you to help her make his husband lose, I mean how would that work.
OP did mention that the husband gambles through horse racing and cockfighting, so I assume OP could encourage him to take the bad horses and make him lose that way.I also agree with the others, that it's more about the husband's drinking problem and way of spending his winnings because even if he doesn't win his bets it can become a coping mechanism in the future.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
This is my first time hearing about this kind of situation so no, and hoping for someone to lose their bets is probably the least thing i'd do when there are other solutions to tackle the problem. 
I don't have anyone who would wish me no luck with gambling, actually, in the most of occasions people does not have a problem with their loved ones having some extra money which they happened to have won from gambling, the issue it is mostly about the gambling itself, the personal wager ones has or the fact luck is not on the side of the person and ends up losing money.
In the particular case of your neighbor, I believe it would be easier for the whole household if he did not have the custom to host those drinking sprees after his wins.
To me, this sounds nothing like a gambling problem, but rather like a drinking/health problem instead.
Based on what you say in your story, his wife would be perfectly fine with him continuing to gamble as long as he stops the alcohol consumption.
In the particular case of your neighbor, I believe it would be easier for the whole household if he did not have the custom to host those drinking sprees after his wins.
To me, this sounds nothing like a gambling problem, but rather like a drinking/health problem instead.
Based on what you say in your story, his wife would be perfectly fine with him continuing to gamble as long as he stops the alcohol consumption.
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Doesnt look like a gambling problem just a drinking problem. Have they done a medical checkup to see if the husbands drinking is giving him any health problems? I know its generally bad to drink but if the husband can't be advised might as well get professional advise from a doctor instead.As for my situation I don't really. My family knows and they're fine with it as long as I can be responsible financially. Personally if it was that bad of an influence then I'd stop but so far it hasn't been really.
Everyone should be happy if someone wins in gambling because it won't happen on a daily basis to anyone of us, it is by our luck. However in this case, it is not gambling which is the problem but the drinking spree or act of celebration by the husband, and if it bothers the wife then the right actions to be taaken is for her to tell it directly. For sure she did already but what's needed is for her to get her husband's attention and that would be on her end and not involving other people who were just invited. Some people would think it would be rude to reject an invitation right? So again, it should be between the couple. Not on their shoes but if the husband will insist of still doing so despite of the risk then maybe that's just how he want to spend the remaining years of his life.
The wife of your neighbor isn't sad that her husband won simply because of what her husband does after every win. If he does something different with his gambling winnings other than drinking parties with friends, I'm very sure her stance about his gambling endeavors will change. She's mad about it because his gambling wins acts as catalyst to fuel the drinking parties. I rarely see families that are unhappy when a member of their family wins — gambling or not. It's only a problem when you gamble and do not win. If your neighbor changes what he does after winning, maybe spend most of it for family especially with his wife, watch her stance about gambling change real fast.
My uncle used to get mad at me when I gambled. But he was an old school person. Because he believed in some superstitions, he said that evil spirits would affect my life when I gambled. I didn't care about him at first. But then I saw that he was upset and I kept on gambling, hiding it from him. I think we should make some sacrifices for some people. We can't sacrifice everything for them. But we can make life better for all of us with little things. I continued to gamble in secret from my uncle. My uncle was happy and so was I.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
If the husband is just spending money that he wins from betting, then I will say it's a bit annoying, but to some point, it's also a good thing. At least he is not wasting money on what they could have used for important things in the family; they are just trying to catch fun with what they consider excess. So if she prays that the husband should lose in the game or collaborate with others just to make sure that the husband loses, what makes her think that the husband might not use money that is not meant for other things to spend on their hangout? Currently, he is spending money from gambling winnings. What does she think will happen if the profit is not coming from gambling?
So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
She needs to confront his husband and have a heart-to-heart talk with him regarding his drinking problem. Though in the situation, it seems that they have no money problem but it is about the health issues that her husband can get from his drinking spree. Hence, she wants her husband to lose in gambling so he won't buy alcohol.
That is true, if she will just wish her husband to lose, then, she is not addressing the problem. She should look at the situation why her husband is into drinking. Maybe what she can do to change his mind can be one or two of the following -
> look for other activities that you believe your husband can get his interest of- sports, camping, traveling, hiking
> visit relatives or friends and bring foods, instead of buying alcohol
> try to engage him in regular exercise, this way he will appreciate living a healthy life, and maybe forget alcohol
> look for a community project that you think he wants to contribute, so the extra money that he feels wasting on alcohol can be diverted to projects
Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling
The wife has a genuine reason for wishing him to lose because his health is more important. Heavy alcohol drinking can cause severe health problems. But I don't think wishing him to lose will be the best option. The man needs to be counseled, he needs to know that there are better things to do to with the wins. He should know that spending money on alcohol is a waste of resources since the money can be channeled to more profitable ventures. The wife should contact the children and tell them to speak to their father. There is a religious woman in my area who will always wish his son who is a gambler never wins. She will always rain insults on him and call him a useless child. On a certain day, the boy won big and we expected her to reject the money his son gave to her to support her business. Surprisingly she took the money and used it to stock up her shop. I don't think any reasonable person would wish his family member not to win in gambling.
Some wives can be funny. They can do everything within their power to make their husband desist from any attitude they don't like their husband displaying.
We can call this a jealous act coming from the wife of the husband but we wouldn't like it when someone close to us spends lavishly on things without doing something useful with the money earned.
I don't intend to blame the wife of the man anyway, because she doesn't know the kind of fun and happiness her husband derives when eating and drinking with friends, with the money won from gambling bets.
What I suspect the husband of the wife to do in this scenario is to minimize how he calls out people to celebrate with him and spend the money won from gambling to buy useful things or storekeeper his house with enough cos that's what women want
We can call this a jealous act coming from the wife of the husband but we wouldn't like it when someone close to us spends lavishly on things without doing something useful with the money earned.
I don't intend to blame the wife of the man anyway, because she doesn't know the kind of fun and happiness her husband derives when eating and drinking with friends, with the money won from gambling bets.
What I suspect the husband of the wife to do in this scenario is to minimize how he calls out people to celebrate with him and spend the money won from gambling to buy useful things or storekeeper his house with enough cos that's what women want
First of all I limit who I share my online habits with. Part of the reason I don't go to land based casinos establishments is because I don't want to give people any space to be judgemental. It's really in some people's character and they can't even control themselves when they see you doing something they don't like. So really I prefer letting them live in bliss. It's the best for both sides really.
I wouldn't judge someone unless it was extremely obvious that he was overdoing it. If you are excessive in your judgment I think nobody will listen. I too wouldn't listen to someone crying wolf of the time. So if I know some relative of mine has a bad opinion of gambling ad a whole then why would I even tell them anything?
I wouldn't judge someone unless it was extremely obvious that he was overdoing it. If you are excessive in your judgment I think nobody will listen. I too wouldn't listen to someone crying wolf of the time. So if I know some relative of mine has a bad opinion of gambling ad a whole then why would I even tell them anything?
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