Looking at her condition, it makes sense because after all, it seems that the wife wanted to give a deterrent effect to her husband because it was difficult to advise him to stop gambling, which they could not control. I think it is the most effective option for her husband to feel remorse for gambling even though the way it is done is very hard but the hope and goal is for good.
This kind of thing should be realized by the husband and can think that the way he is doing it is wrong. indeed no one will be melarng and not wrong either if you really want to gamble, but on the other hand we must know the limits because gambling that makes us forget everything and every time spend walti and money to gamble is actually a very extreme action to do.
Topic: Do You Have A Loved One Who Doesn't Want You To Win In Gambling - page 2. (Read 309 times)
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
So the problem isn't really winning from gambling, but the fact that he parties and drinks too much. And since he gets money for partying from that source, she wants him to lose. So instead focusing to main problem, she wants to dance around it.I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to confront him about the drinking. Maybe she believes that there would never be a solution that would suit both of them, or that his husband wouldn't just listen. Like most problems in marriages, this would also be solved by open and direct communication if they both respected each other. But as they don't know how to communicate, or trust each other, she tries to manipulate him with these kind tricks. Sounds quite toxic marriage to me.
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
My family reminds me not to engage myself too much in gambling to avoid getting hooked or addicted but they do not wish me to lose whenever I have my gambling session.
I believe the old lady is not lacking in terms of finances and the husband's action irritates her each time he wins. If the old lady is lacking in finances then I do not think she will not want his husband to win, instead, She would be happy to see his husband win because the profit from winning will somehow give them monetary assistance and fill the gap in their financial needs.
I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.
I think that the husband is stubborn, I believe the wife had already told her husband her opinion but the husband just ignored it and continued to do whatever he liked. This is also the reason why the wife asks for help but sadly it will be hard for anyone to intervene on their situation unless the wife addresses the issue in legal way where authority will mediate the situation.
Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
She has good reason to want her husband not to win from gambling because he uses the money for things that are not of any benefit, so there is no need to gamble when he is just endangering himself more with every win. If she wanted the husband to stop gambling even when he uses the money he wins wisely, I could have called it witchcraft.
If I see that winning from gambling is endangering the life of a loved one, I will want them to stop winning so they don't lose their life.
oo familiar, no I had a very similar situation with a friend and his girlfriend. He was very fond of poker and often disappeared in gambling houses at night and of course this annoyed her, but he made amends when he brought the money he won. I think the end of the story is very obvious, he got into large debts and they broke up in the end, and at the same time several friends turned away from him because he did not return the money, now he lives in another country because he had to completely start life from the beginning. This situation is completely like a plot from a movie.
The moral is very simple, don't think only about yourself. Because in the end you will be alone.
The moral is very simple, don't think only about yourself. Because in the end you will be alone.
I am going to say a think not many will like: that lady will not be able to do anything about her husband gambling, drinking and having those friends around. Since they are already retired, they are in the age already, and trying to change or demanding changes in person at such age is close to impossible. Since they probably be living together for quite a long time, she and he must accept their second half they way they are.
My wife knows that I gamble from time to time. Never my gambling hobby bothered anyone. Since it does not harm anyone, does not effect our budget, I doubt that I cause any trouble to anyone. However, if my wife asks to stop or pause, I will stop gambling.
My wife knows that I gamble from time to time. Never my gambling hobby bothered anyone. Since it does not harm anyone, does not effect our budget, I doubt that I cause any trouble to anyone. However, if my wife asks to stop or pause, I will stop gambling.
Correct me if i am wrong but according to story which i read on OP that the wife is not complaining about her husband habit in gambling but the most problem is how does her husband habit when celebrate his gambling winnings which lead her husband to drink late into the night with friends and she starting to worried about her husband health and asking help to the neighbors to give an advices in order to stop his habit
And about OP question so far i can hide my gambling activities with very well to my loved one so she doesn't know about my habit but indeed if she knows about that then most likely she will forbid me to gamble which i don't want it happend however i think the reason for our loved ones doesn't like have a partner who have gambling habit is not because the outcome of gambling itself but in my opinion why they doesn't liked our habit is because they are worried it will have a negative impact on us
And about OP question so far i can hide my gambling activities with very well to my loved one so she doesn't know about my habit but indeed if she knows about that then most likely she will forbid me to gamble which i don't want it happend however i think the reason for our loved ones doesn't like have a partner who have gambling habit is not because the outcome of gambling itself but in my opinion why they doesn't liked our habit is because they are worried it will have a negative impact on us
How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
reading your post, it seems like the wife's issue isn't really about her husband winning in gambling but about the husband's drinking spree and partying habit that goes overnight which can really have a negative impact on someone's health(which can be problematic if you ask me).I wonder what she was thinking when she asked you to help her make his husband lose, I mean how would that work.
Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
Fortunately I don't have anyone I love or my close relatives involved in gambling, I myself my family doesn't know I gamble, but for now I don't have anyone like that.However, if there was someone in my family, for example: my father, maybe I wouldn't forbid him if he wanted to do as the OP said, win gambling, whatever the reason, I would allow him to do it once, maybe not the second time, considering he is old, maybe it's time for him to repent for himself, because alcohol and gambling are no longer good for him.
Even with the story I still don’t think it’s right to wish someone failure not for any reason.
I don’t have any love one that’s praying that I lose my bet (they don’t know that I gamble though) but still anyone that wishes you to lose something that you have bet on is not qualified to be called your loved one - there are other means to resolve things not by wanting the other person to fail so that they’ll listen to you.
To me if I discover something like this I’ll definitely distance myself from them.
I don’t have any love one that’s praying that I lose my bet (they don’t know that I gamble though) but still anyone that wishes you to lose something that you have bet on is not qualified to be called your loved one - there are other means to resolve things not by wanting the other person to fail so that they’ll listen to you.
To me if I discover something like this I’ll definitely distance myself from them.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
Maybe it's time for his wife to also find a personal hobby she enjoys by herself or accompanied by her friends, since she is also retired and there aren't children at home anymore. The couple has a lot of free time to enjoy as they wish. The husband is already doing it, as he found in gambling and on his friends the fun he was looking for.Now his wife is annoyed by that due to the fact she isn't living her life. I don't think the husband has to slow down, as he is playing with money he can afford to lose and as long as the parties with friends don't trespass any limits. If this lady keeps asking you to get involved on her husband's hobbies, you should suggest her to find her own hobbies.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
It seems that your story is based on a wife who doesn't like her husband's habit of getting drunk after winning money from gambling, and that is a bad choice, she doesn't dislike her husband gambling but dislikes his drunkenness which will interfere with her husband's health. I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
In my neighborhood may have a different story, there is a friend who is married and indeed in our environment people who gamble are very bad and it is a disgrace for anyone who gambles because gambling is a behavior that is prohibited in the beliefs in my village, his wife asked me to make her husband realize that he likes to gamble because he is so lazy and the money he earns is always more spent on financing his husband's gambling, His wife said she could have thrown her husband away but she loved him very much but his behavior after knowing gambling became a human being who was not useful for his family.
Why I started this topic: This really happened with my neighbor
I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
should it be her concern that the husband is now a drunk or that he's winning? I have a neighbor. They are both retired teachers living on their pensions, and all their children are professionals living on their own. They are just enjoying their retirement until the husband goes back to his old ways, which are cockfighting and horse racing.
He's not really allocating his pensions he gambles with money that he can afford to lose.
The problem is that whenever he wins, whatever the amount, he invites friends and neighbors to a drinking party, and his wife finds this annoying. However, he cannot argue with his husband because he just wants to enjoy his retirement by enjoying the things he loves.
His wife confesses it to us, and the wife asks us to help her make his husband lose so as to stop the drinking spree that goes overnight and might harm his health.
Of course, we declined. We told her that we'd just advise him and decline his invitation for drinks; however, the drinking spree continued every time the husband won, even without drinking partners. How about you? Do you have a loved one who doesn't want you to win in gambling?
I'll lock this thread after 40 replies or three days after.
What's happening to the man is that when he has the funds to fuel is drinking urge he does it to the best of his ability and not necessarily that gambling is the main thing. Honestly, this is just what's popular with most men when they have reached the retirement age. They tend to just catch fun and might drink too much whenever they win or succeed at a thing. In my area, because we are host community to a multinational crude oil, most oldem that aren't actively working again but that are just leaning from thier pension would normally come out most evening expecially during weekend to drink to stupor. What would you do in that instance?
Life is a one time journey, some people just want to have as much fun as they feel it's necessary to do when they are becoming too old and when you're depriving them of those little activity, they tend to grow old too fast and might even die before thier time.
I know what the problem is and the possible solution.
The problem is that the man is idle. He has a lot of free time on his hands that he doesn't know ho best to use it. And this is one of the advantages or disadvantages of retirement depending on how you choose to see it. It is like, I have worked my whole life to make money and raise a family. I have successfully done that and don't have any need to work again since money and family is not longer a problem. Retired but not tired and needs to channel that energy into something else.
The solution is for his wife to come up with a business plan that the both of them can venture into. It could be a business or an NGO. That way the man is occupied, his gambling frequencies reduce and so will his friends who comes only to drink. Life or time doesn't exist in a vacuum something must occupy him.
The problem is that the man is idle. He has a lot of free time on his hands that he doesn't know ho best to use it. And this is one of the advantages or disadvantages of retirement depending on how you choose to see it. It is like, I have worked my whole life to make money and raise a family. I have successfully done that and don't have any need to work again since money and family is not longer a problem. Retired but not tired and needs to channel that energy into something else.
The solution is for his wife to come up with a business plan that the both of them can venture into. It could be a business or an NGO. That way the man is occupied, his gambling frequencies reduce and so will his friends who comes only to drink. Life or time doesn't exist in a vacuum something must occupy him.
Here it appears that the man's wife is not so free with him and maybe that's why his wife doesn't dare to say these words directly to her own husband. But I won't say what his wife wants is illogical or bad because on the one hand she is right because if her husband's habits gradually turn into addiction then later today there is a possibility of losing money which is bad for them. Circumstances may lead to this.
This is not something new that people celebrate when every day gets a big win. It should be in moderation in my opinion. Does the husband win every time and then it would be continuously every day they would celebrate?
I don’t think it is frequent so It shouldn’t be a problem. This is more like a situation where married couples should have communication and maybe some compromise should be made.
I don’t want that someone I love stops me from something that I love to do Unless she makes me realize that it’s really affecting me negatively.
I don’t think it is frequent so It shouldn’t be a problem. This is more like a situation where married couples should have communication and maybe some compromise should be made.
I don’t want that someone I love stops me from something that I love to do Unless she makes me realize that it’s really affecting me negatively.
I lose, how would you expect or wish for your loved one to fail at what his good at. If drinking is really the problem, I guess she should be by his side in all those moments, trying to control how often he drinks and when they retire to their bedroom, she cautions him on how the drinking could have a negative impact on his health and their relationship. How it’s affecting the way she feels about his new found habit.
Even though the man doesn’t stop entirely, he would reduce the way he drinks, especially when the wife is around to keep those eye contacts when ever he holds the bottle.
Should he start loosing, I bet ya, it would t help his health as well. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to afford them drinks but, hypertension would build.
I don’t have such neighbor and wouldn’t want to be such neighbor anyway.
I see this as a case of double addiction: drunkeness and gambling. Every sensible person would want their family free from any addiction and that is just what the old lady is trying to do. Unfortunately, losses hardly cause gamblers to have a rethink about the habit. I have a younger brother who gambles. I really do not concern myself with his gambling matters since he's an adult, though I pray and hope he quits. If perpetually losing would mke him quit, that would be fine.
Philippines right? 
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
This is always the problem of many wife in Philippines since husband usually over spends on cock fighting. Not only on bets but also on cock conditioning since it needs vitamins, right pellet and time to train the cock before the fight.
Drinking party is always a follow up dilemma since they usually spend money on alcohol and cigarettes for the group which most of the winning money go so they literally just wasting money and time. This tradition can’t be stop if you already married to a cock fighting addict. There’s no turning back.
I'm sure it is; it is like a tradition, and I have friends who are into this, and you can easily tell if one of them is a winner; they have the opponent's dead cock, and had a drinking spree; I can relate to this when one of the wives even shouted that bad luck one of you wins again.
It is part of the Sunday get-together of friends to relax after a week of hard work. Usually, people who are involved in this are laborers and hard workers. I think it's hard to break this tradition.
You can't stop him from winning, rather, curtail the activities he does after he wins because the way I see it he might start using his other funds to continue his vices if he doesn't see profits from gambling even if he's a responsible one. After all, he's trying enjoy his retirement right?
The wife has a got a valid reason to be upset whenever he wins because to her, it's not a good form of spending your winnings as it may cause problems down the line for him and it will become pointless if he continues to win but his health won't be in a good condition to let him celebrate it.
Well, of it doesn't look like he's going to stop soon even after she has voiced her complaints and reasons, maybe she just has to live him alone or pick up a hobby that won't let her dwell too much on his behaviors.
The wife has a got a valid reason to be upset whenever he wins because to her, it's not a good form of spending your winnings as it may cause problems down the line for him and it will become pointless if he continues to win but his health won't be in a good condition to let him celebrate it.
Well, of it doesn't look like he's going to stop soon even after she has voiced her complaints and reasons, maybe she just has to live him alone or pick up a hobby that won't let her dwell too much on his behaviors.
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