Sadly, I agree with you in your last statement. It's a war, and it seems to become more and more polarised, less of a civil war.
People living in the South-East identify themselves less and less with Ukraine, while the Western part of Ukraine, looks more toward retaining the South-Eastern territories whatever the cost - they seem to care more about the land than the people living on it. If they cared about the people, the would-be authorities, would have long ago tried to at least talk to the South-Easterners, responded to their initial demands for federalisation as a way to save Ukraine as a state.
As for help, Russia start with it now as well. Humanitarian help is offered to the Eastern Ukraine:
http://lenta.ru/news/2014/05/28/mid/Most of you have always said thet this is russian territory , that there are lots of russians in the east , that urkaineans are mostly dominant in the west etc.I don't know this for sure and I won't be commenting this part.
But they have been living like that for 20 years. I have neighbors that came from 300 km to work in the capital. Lots of men change their homes , people at 20-30 marry and not always from the same village or city. Those people mix , it's inevitable.
How can you now draw a line over this and how can they openly say , let's cut the country in half we don't need those guys anymore , how about we shot them ? We were drinking buddies in the college but f*8 them.
Interestingly, that was not an argument, when chopping up Yugoslavia.
True, some people move and marry, many have families that are on both sides of the existing border as it is now. That was not a big deal when everyone was living in de-facto one country, USSR.
And yes, people lived ok-ish, as long as they were not poked too much. But when someone tries to tell you that you are no longer allowed to use the language that you and your ancestors used, when they try to artificially create a sense of patriotism, it shows one of the attitude changes that make people uneasy, to put it mildly.
On the other hand, the movement of people is not that great on the scale of a population - many continue to live in the same towns and villages, where they were born, where their fathers and mothers were born. In this context, one should remember, that the territories that all the fighting is about now, where given to Ukraine by Lenin in 1917 - only 2-3 generations back. There are still some grandfathers and grandmothers alive there, who were borne in Russia, in Novorossia county, before the chaos of 1917.
EDIT: Moving the by Pagan's shelling.