WTF! is wrong with you?
I will kick your ass in spite of my illness.
I made extensive and important ontopic posts upthread and there is also a human element to development too. Where the fuck is your humility and compassion?
I apologize for going off-topic.
No you don't have to apologize to that snot fuck. Why do you let him brow beat you and use peer pressure to lower your sensibility and humanity?
Call him out instead. Embarrass him for his lack of human spirit.
...
I'm having trouble with those 2 bolded statements in particular. I'm trying to imagine being 50 years old, having MS, and running a sub-5 second 40 yards... and I just can't.
I apologize in advance to other readers to introduce so much personal information into the thread (and surely you know I take a great risk that none of you are willing to take by putting your real photos in public!! I avoided this for 2 years!!), but perhaps it is necessary this one time in order to clarify a few points. So let's try to make it once only.
I have always been a jock or athlete, in addition to being a nerd or hacker of sorts. It is rarer combination, but I am not the only one of those. For example, I had a friend and competitor Brad from Bevelry Hills H.S, who had higher SAT scores than me and he beat me in the 800 meter race (the 2nd time, I won the first meet). I think he went on to do something more mainstream than hacking, but I didn't keep in touch. In high school, I ran a sub-4:30 mile, sub-16 min 5K, 35 minute 10K (on a whim and not in best trained shape), yet I also ran 4.5 second 40. For most of my youth, I was in American football (my natural sport since age 5), then I shifted to XCountry and Track when I moved from my birthplace New Orleans, LA to Culver City, CA in 1980. My athleticism is more focused in power and not endurance, but I did the endurance sport because I was in love with the social aspects (running from Culver City to Hunnington Beach and watching the sunset, etc) of it at that age and also I like different challenges and experiences. Frankly I never reached my peak potential in endurance running, because I had too many nerd distractions such as creating WordUp in the mid-1980s which was one of the world's earliest full-feature WYSIWYG word processors.
Here is a pic of myself in 1993-1995 when I worked on what became now Corel Painter:
In 1999, I was at the peak of my career with CoolPage running up to 335,000 published websites users (million or so downloaded copies) and athletically I was in incredible shape. See photo below on the day (Dec. 1, 1999) I was attacked and lost vision in my right eye.
After that my personal life went into disarray and I'd rather not mention all the details out-of-respect for the other party involved.
By 2004 or so, I had recovered physically and emotionally, and in 2005 I started to realize there was a problem in the global economy (my suspicions had started with 9/11) and had discovered gold, silver, etc..
In any case, in 2006 I believe I was infected with a high strain of the HPV virus, and I believe that was a strong contributing factor to my decline thereafter. I still was able to run and even got 2nd place in my 35+ age group for 5K, but it wasn't the same. I didn't have the same oomph and endurance. But it wasn't yet debilitating, just a reduction in my performance. Yet from 2006 to 2010 or 2011, I was still able to pretty much go in the gym or any athletic activity and perform with a lot of power and speed. The deleterious effects up to that point were mainly sustaining energy and endurance and recovery time the next day.
In 2010 or 2011, my feet started to swell, tinnatus in my ears, severe cramping, etc.. The neuropathy had kicked into high gear. You can see the severe eye bags on me in 2010 in the following photo yet also notice how muscular I am (more so than in my 20s).
By 2012, I was hospitalized for h.pylori infection, and after that my body went into a tailspin.
Yet through most of this, I didn't lose my speed and power, except starting around 2013/14, I started to lose power especially on my left side. And in 2014 it was getting so bad that I was getting very desperate. I suppose due to my lifelong athleticism and my continued attempts to fight the M.S. with athletics, I was able to sustain longer than others do with the illness, but yet I was succumbing to it.
But you can see even in this pic in 2014, I was still athletic even though I was struggling every day with debilitating symptoms, I just have incredible will power because of of the long distance running I did over the years where I had to endure extreme pain as a matter of sport and competition:
On my other computer I have photo that shows my face covered with welts and extreme fatigue that was taken also in 2014. Sorry I didn't take many photos of myself when I was feeling horrible. I took photos on those days where I had a burst of energy. M.S. is relapsing thus there can be a good day out of a month. And I would go full blast athletics on those rarer good days.
I had noticed that in all the remedies I had experimented with, only the high dose vitamin D3 that I had tested for 1 week in 2012 (and again for 1 week in 2013) had on both occasions eliminated most if not all of the ill health symptoms. But I was afraid to continue that high dosing of vitamin D3 due to risks of kidney damage. So then my M.S. worsened.
Around the end of March, I got into a horrendous argument with my mother because she expressed no sympathy for what I am going through. I got so pissed off, I felt I didn't care any more if I destroyed my kidneys and I was tired of being this fucking whining ass loser that I become relegated to that my mother could look down on me, when in fact I had accomplished much more in my life (before allowing my life to get involved with the wrong people and venues which lead to my downfall).
My mom and I on better days back in 1995:
So I redid the research on the vitamin D3 and found much more information than in 2012, such as video from the Brazilian neurologists (graduated and interned in the USA) and his claims on curing 95% of 3000+ M.S. patients.
So I decided to renew the vitamin D3 treatment and sustain it, hell or high water.
And thus far, it is working reasonably well and I have a lot more energy and have been working up to 18 hours daily lately. Unfortunately my M.S. got much worse since 2012, thus the vitamin D3 is not giving me the complete cure in 1 week as it appeared to do before. But the quality of my life is drastically improved already and I am hoping for continued improvement.
So back to your main contention, even when I had these horrendous symptoms 2012 - 2015, I would still force myself with superhuman willpower to go out and exercise hard and I could still run fast or do some power activity, but I could not sustain it long. My sprints dropped from 10 x 150 meters to 1 or 2 x 150 meters.
Since I got on the high dose vitamin D3 (since April 1 at least), my endurance and energy is rising. One day I did 350 pushups, then immediately 8 minutes for 2 kms, then 4 x 150 meters sprints. It is no where near what I used to be able to do and what I am sure I could still do if I wasn't sick, but it is a significant improvement and I am grateful.
My problem right now is I am in a financial stress, because my savings is held by a precious metals dealer and they can't seem to give it all to me. They dole it out a little by little and I am afraid they may stop. And thus I am surviving with very little cash cushion.
And I am diverting my energies onto to projects (hoping to raise cash more surely and quickly) which are much less important than what I think I could probably contribute in crypto.
P.S. when I was 26 I looked like I was 16. The following pic was taken in New Orleans in 1991.