Narrator:
A FE woman walks into the tavern and sits down at the bar.Bartender: What'll it be?
FE Woman: Give me a martini.
Narrator:
The bartender gets her a martini. A little while later...FE Woman: Bartender, give me another martini.
Narrator:
The bartender gets her another martini. This goes on for a while. But after a time, it's...FE Woman: Barfender, give me another marfini.
Narrator:
The bartender mentally objects, but he gets her the martini anyway. Finally...FE Woman: Barfender, give me another marfini, and the last one gave me heartburn.
Narrator:
That was all the bartender could take.Bartender: Lady, you are cut off. You have had too many already, because, in the first place, I am a barTender, not a barFender, and in the second place, it's a marTini, not a marFini, and in the third place, it ain't heartburn. You got your left tit in the ashtray.
Narrator:
About that time a couple of the bartender's buddies sit down at the bar. They had just gotten off a hard day's work, and needed to relax for the evening. The bartender goes over to them.Bartender: Hey, fellas. Do you see that lady at the end of the bar?
Narrator:
They nod.Bartender: Well, she's had too much to drink. Could you two guys walk her home? She only lives up the street a couple of blocks. I'll buy you each a couple of free drinks if you do this for me.
Narrator:
The guys didn't like the idea. But the bartender was a friend, and who could resist a couple of free drinks? So, one on each side of the FE woman, they walk her out the door, and up the street. They had gone a little way when the FE woman looks up at one of the guys and says...FE Woman: You're passionate.
Buddy 1: Hey, lady. None of that tonight. All I want to do is get you home, and get back to the bar and get some serious drinkin' in.
Narrator:
They had gone a little further when the FE woman looks up at the other guy and says...FE Woman: You're passionate.
Buddy 2: Listen, lady. Like my friend here, all I want to do is get you home and get back to the bar.
Narrator:
They walk on for a little ways, and finally one of the guys says...Buddy 1: We been walking quite a ways. The bartender said it was only a couple blocks up the street. How in the world far does this lady live, anyways?
Buddy 2: Yeah, that's right. Lady, how in the world far do you live, anyways?
FE Woman: Dat'sh what I been tryin' ta tell ya... yer pashin' it.
