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Topic: Gambling effect to husband and wife (Read 512 times)

hero member
Activity: 1722
Merit: 528
January 11, 2020, 10:14:59 PM
#41
I don't know what happen in this scenarios since I don't have any experiences with this.

All I know is that there are a lot of discussions since my friend always told me that. When we will be having a get together, his wife will always tell him to never ever gamble the money he has since they have other expenses to spend that even though he won't. He doesn't gamble that much but if he does, it is really a problem.
hero member
Activity: 2912
Merit: 556
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January 11, 2020, 09:44:27 PM
#40
The husband needs to tell the wife where he used the money. The wife needs money to prepare their daily life, and if a wife is not working, and depends on the husband's money, she will always ask for the money. That is why the husband and the wife need to be honest with each other, so if the husband or wife has a problem, they can solve it together. The husband needs to control himself in gambling and always remember that he has a family, and his family needs money to continue living. As long as the husband can manage his money in gambling, so he still has money for his family, I think he will not get a problem, but once we are involved in gambling, we need to get extra careful.
legendary
Activity: 3486
Merit: 1055
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January 11, 2020, 04:28:37 PM
#39
Therefore, prioritizing your wife or family is what should take precedence before you spend money on gambling, don't put gambling first in this case because if that happens, then your life will suffer. Always use a healthy and wise mindset, you have an obligation to take care of the family so gambling is another game that you don't have to do every time.
hero member
Activity: 2128
Merit: 520
January 11, 2020, 01:20:18 PM
#38
For me personally, while all can still be limited where the money for daily needs and where the money is spent on gambling events like the above will not happen.
Remember gambling is not to get a lot of money but instead to spend money.
Don't force something out of control.
Never engage to  much to the point that you will lose your control and use your savings which is allotted to your family. If you can perform this activity in a moderate ways and treat it as stress relievers then you can continue but if you are already using huge amount of money then assess back and observe you might already into deep addictions which is very bad to you and your family.
hero member
Activity: 1249
Merit: 506
January 11, 2020, 01:15:20 PM
#37
For number 2 I guess it isn't for the husband but more often it's for the wife but that could be the case if the wife is the one that into gambling addiction. Well, if gambling for an instance is the one that supports the family this kind of situation may never happen, as you said if it just gambles moderately and not intend to lose the money for saving and day to day expenses no problem will arise.
Of course gambling has a stop and do not lose too much money is acceptable but this is very unlikely. Most gamblers cannot stop before losing all their money, so gamblers always run out of money.
Money in a family is always a big concern, so most gambling players will receive complaints from their relatives.
sr. member
Activity: 1876
Merit: 259
January 11, 2020, 12:44:38 PM
#36
For me personally, while all can still be limited where the money for daily needs and where the money is spent on gambling events like the above will not happen.
Remember gambling is not to get a lot of money but instead to spend money.
Don't force something out of control.
sr. member
Activity: 1792
Merit: 264
January 11, 2020, 12:21:41 PM
#35
of course a wife will ask where the money is spent if indeed the capital we use to gamble from the wages we have to give to his wife and children. I think the wife's decision to ask that question must indeed be conveyed to the husband expressly because after all the wife has a very important role in managing finances. a professional gambler can certainly manage everything, and can arrange which money must be used for gambling after fulfilling the main obligations that must be given to his family
sr. member
Activity: 1890
Merit: 300
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January 11, 2020, 11:35:20 AM
#34
in past when i become a gambling addict?i try to explain to my wife as soon as i go home that i lose again,because in that way we don't go long argumentation and there is a time that she already accepted my explanation and instead of confronting me?she find a job and just let me do my things but always advising me and lighting my way ,so after some years?i realized my mistakes and follow her advises .

You should be proud that you have a very understanding wife, it's hard to find someone like her, wives is the one looking for the welfare of the family and he knows all the expenses, she cannot be quiet for a long time if the needs of the family are not met.

Being alone is one of the reason why people get addicted to gambling. If you want to sustain a relationship, talk with your partner, take the consent of him/her for the amount and time you spend gambling. It's not just about managing the family but also restricting you from getting addicted to gambling. It's your money but you can also spend in some better ways.
sr. member
Activity: 1120
Merit: 272
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January 11, 2020, 11:15:58 AM
#33
Well, its just my observation though.Going back on topic where its normal for our wife to seek out for our income.

Yes, it is normal but we also need to have some money for ourselves and for enjoyment. We accept the fact that if you're married, you a family to live and help them survive everyday. But you also need to entertain yourself to prevent stress that includes your own money. Although, your family can also be a source of happiness for you, that maybe enough. But I guarantee you that you will seek more content on the things that you're used to like gambling.

Our wife needs time and caress and if you do consume all of your time either on online or offline gambling then its just a normal
reaction.

That's not a normal reaction because our wife should not feel that way. Always prioritize your family before anything else, they're the one who are always there for you whenever you're down. The gambling will disappear and vanish, but your family will stay with you forever no matter what. Moderate gambling will do just to have some fun just to control your salary.
sr. member
Activity: 2366
Merit: 305
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January 11, 2020, 10:35:14 AM
#32
If your money is not enough to sustain the daily needs of your family then, I will suggest not to gamble. Family first before anything else, put them into your priority not a second option. That is why we always say here that "only gamble what you can afford to lose" not just your entire savings or your monthly salary. Gambling will destroy your family's relationship just because you are lack financial support to them. The husband and wife should have a plan and the wife will always keep the money because they know how to budget and what needs in daily consumption.
hero member
Activity: 2926
Merit: 567
January 11, 2020, 10:34:18 AM
#31
in past when i become a gambling addict?i try to explain to my wife as soon as i go home that i lose again,because in that way we don't go long argumentation and there is a time that she already accepted my explanation and instead of confronting me?she find a job and just let me do my things but always advising me and lighting my way ,so after some years?i realized my mistakes and follow her advises .

You should be proud that you have a very understanding wife, it's hard to find someone like her, wives is the one looking for the welfare of the family and he knows all the expenses, she cannot be quiet for a long time if the needs of the family are not met.
sr. member
Activity: 2618
Merit: 439
January 11, 2020, 10:18:21 AM
#30
in past when i become a gambling addict?i try to explain to my wife as soon as i go home that i lose again,because in that way we don't go long argumentation and there is a time that she already accepted my explanation and instead of confronting me?she find a job and just let me do my things but always advising me and lighting my way ,so after some years?i realized my mistakes and follow her advises .
member
Activity: 1204
Merit: 38
January 11, 2020, 10:07:21 AM
#29
When there is lack of financial support from the partner there will be always issues in any kind of relationship and more often in husband and wife.I do experienced lot of issues with lot of disputes from my neighbourhood for some reasons like gambling,excessive addiction to alcohol and other stuffs but as an individual everyone should know their limits and stick with that,never lose your long term happiness for short term pleasure.
legendary
Activity: 2450
Merit: 1047
January 11, 2020, 09:46:30 AM
#28
It's heartbreaking for a wife to know that her husband is very much into gambling, to the point that he cannot provide enough food and basic needs to his family if this continues it's only a matter of time, that they will end up a broken family, so if you love your family, minimize your time in gambling and don't spend too much money.
sr. member
Activity: 1218
Merit: 251
January 11, 2020, 09:45:30 AM
#27
When I want to gamble, I always use my spare money and my wife never knows about my gambling because my wife does not like me playing gambling all the time.
Of course I would prioritize my family over betting that I always put my free time with my child and not gamble when it does.
When there is more money and have my free time I will bet with spare money.
legendary
Activity: 2240
Merit: 1069
January 11, 2020, 09:11:08 AM
#26
3. They always get into discussion
Getting into discussion is not bad. It is actually healthy because you get to talk and tackle the problem together.


All these problems you pointed can be avoided by being honest with your partner. Your partner should know that you are gambling. If she knows then she can help you control your gambling problem. Nothing can't be solved if there is honesty and openness in both parties in a relationship.

The only problem I can see is if both are addicted to gambling and no one is left to control the other.

hero member
Activity: 1708
Merit: 541
January 11, 2020, 08:52:40 AM
#25
I think the following are some of effect in a releationship
1. Wife always ask where the money goes.
 - this is a normal question , but once the husband got hook in gambling we heard this very often
2. Husband always checking where he is going.
 - i know what you are thinking this is a question from wife if her man is cheating, but when her husband always give money she knows the salary, and found out he's in to gambling count this in
3. They always get into discussion
 - this is one of the most common things we always hear from husband and wife , and its regarding money

I think this is the top things when someone into gambling wife always had something to say and ask
as a friend my recommendation is that like in a liquor advertisement drink moderately in gambling
always have in control be happy but don't waste money.
what do you say 
Another important thing is to keep good communication with your spouse. You shouldn't lie and hide your gambling activity to your spouse. Be honest about it, and if your wife is against it then talk it through. Lying and hiding things are the recipe for bad relationships. Also, I think it's better if both party in the relationship have their own account separated from the joint account. This personal account should be use for personal things, like gambling.
hero member
Activity: 3010
Merit: 629
January 11, 2020, 08:31:38 AM
#24
You wont get any problem if you have discipline and limitation when you gamble. Meaning you know how much money to spend when you play and never compromise the money meant for important needs because if you do then the problem with your wife will start from there.

If you're a family man you should priotize the welfare of your loved ones and never gamble using your salary, only use a spare money. Its fine to gamble sometimes but with moderation.
full member
Activity: 2520
Merit: 214
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January 11, 2020, 08:20:42 AM
#23
i can feel you bro,since once i become a very engaged gambler and yes,we almost argue everyday about monetary things and sometimes it turns to exchanging hard words .

but i am so lucky because my wife did not give me up,instead he continue to guide me to make better choices,and this until i realized what i am missing in my life,since then i start to spend more of my free time for my family and just gambling once i feel like wanting to enjoy.and sometimes me and my wife just play cards to satisfy my needs on playing and that is so enjoyable.
hero member
Activity: 1750
Merit: 589
January 11, 2020, 08:14:00 AM
#22
Why generalize with the husband the one gambling and the wife the one asking questions. Could be vice versa tbh. Anw, I agree on the talks of others about its how you control yourself, the amount you bet, the greed you have, but if its in terms of family talks, the one where the wife is actually included, it's a lot better to start with talking about it. Families get destroyed by jealousy and distrust because of not talking to each other about problems, about hobbies that maybe seen bad in the eyes of others you know. Gambling isn't a bad thing. It would be, if your using the funds of your family like the money to be spent on everyday expenses. But if your family knows your gambling, they could allocate money into it, albeit small.
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