Posting this again for anyone who missed it
In light of the coming holiday, I wanted to share a retelling of one of Dr. Seuss's classic christmas tales.
How Josh Garza stole Christmas.GAW-CEO is a bitter, grouchy, cave-dwelling creature with a heart "two sizes too small" who lives on snowy Mount Hashpit, a steep high mountain just north of BTCville, home of the merry and warm-hearted bitcoiners. His only companion is his unloved, but loyal dog,
r00tdude. From his perch high atop, the
GAW-CEO can hear the noisy Christmas festivities that take place in BTCville.
Annoyed, he decides to stop Christmas from coming by stealing their bitcoins, trees, and food for their Christmas feast. He leaves behind nothing but worthless
PayCoins. He crudely disguises himself as Santa Claus, and forces poor
r00tdude, disguised as a reindeer (by tying an antler from a deer plaque on the wall to his head), to drag a sleigh to BTCville, where he slides down the chimney and steals all of the bitcoiners' Christmas presents, bitcoins, the Christmas tree, and the log for their fire. (He is briefly interrupted in his burglary by suchmoon, a little bitcoiner, but
GAW-CEO concocts a crafty lie to effect his escape from his home.)
The
GAW-CEO then takes his sleigh to the top of Mount Hashpit, and prepares to dump all of their bitcoins into the abyss, never to be seen again. As dawn breaks, he expects to hear the bitcoiners' bitter and sorrowful cries, but is confused to hear them singing a joyous Christmas song instead. He puzzles for a moment until it dawns upon him that perhaps Christmas is more than presents and feasting: "Maybe Christmas, he thought, means a little bit more." The GAW-CEO's shrunken heart suddenly grows three sizes larger. The reformed
GAW-CEO returns all of the bitcoiners' bitcoins and trimmings and is warmly invited to the bitcoiners' feast, where he has the honor of carving the Roast Beast.