Topic: How close are you to your father? - page 2. (Read 407 times)

It is not generally in all parent's but at most.
However, that is basically a cause of the tender and caring mindsets of mothers.
Mothers lives to support their children at all courses they can and the mothers are endivoired in backing up her kids whether on their wrong or bad deeds so the kids tend to grow with their childish thoughts that the mothers loves them most because she could support them on whatever basis while the fathers are strict to them because he wouldn't tolerate any form of misconducts of the children.

I grew from a family where when I was a kid, I was what we locally known as "the trouble maker" and my mom has always been a reliable wall for me to lean on whenever I have misconducted out there. She would always defend me even when I misconducts within my siblings she always shields me from being punished and my dad would keep saying to her that... Woman, you are misleading your children with bad manners and I would feel like he is hating my mom because she is being my defense on same note, I am loving my mom more than my dad.

Now I have grown and my mom still does the same things with my junior ones including my nieces, nephews and junior cousins which I could realize all those times she had been backing me up was all wrong home training and when I cautions her about it she lives to tell me that I hate my siblings and Junior relatives right in their present and The kids are generously developing fear and hatreds in me.

I have come to observe that this is an acts of most mothers in my neighborhood and it is of all tendencies that it is generally a deed in most places in the societies.

This can be a challenging situation most times because we feels so occupied and engaged due to our activities and occupation some people may not have that privilege to stay and groom their homes when it's necessary since because they are regularly providing what they needs as family. It's very hard to say but come to think of it as family I also know that there is no way at least one of his daughter or son must be closer to the father and this will be someone who mostly behave and act like that man.

Despite how far they mostly communicate with each other and that person will be the easy way to the father maybe some people are often next to their mothers because of the much love they got from her. I can easily say that the female are mostly bonds with their there father's while the males loves and cherished their mother so much.

if to say I be girl I for de blush like this aswr. I appreciate your advice and I believe say I don learn my lesson and since the thread burst out for the board regarding shit post, I don try as much as possible make I no de post any thing when de off topic for the board.

Like I been talk for one of the thread when de of this nature, when I join the forum, I no really know much about so many stuff for the different board. na just from observation I take de ensure say I make contribution when de relevant to the different board and to some extent, I fitt possibly make mistake just like this one you just pointed out.

But I don de  learn and don de become used to the structure and regulations in the forum and I don say buy buy to shit post, although this particular thread when I make na out of wetin I don see plenty for we environment when I just reason to bring am up for we good people make we for yarn am together.

But regardless, we go continue to de improve on our threads and contribution and we go work together to make this board a unique one.

  Parenting as a whole is a duty that everyone needs to fulfill. The right fulfillment of this duty depends on the way we manage the affairs of the home generally. The mother is naturally close to her children and it's much more easier to bond with her than the father. The fathers on their own end have a whole lot of duties to fulfill but a good father even regardless of these duties would make out time for his family.
  There's no harm in a father being available to play some necessary roles in the physical child upbringing. There should be avoidance of situations where a child would grow up with questions pertaining to his father's availability in his life. The availability of both parents is really essential in a child's upbringing. It goes beyond financial providence and all. The same care a mother gives to her child, if the father is able to place half of it on the child, it'll do the child an extra good in his growth and well being.

Op nor vex for wattin I an talk oo, I no lie you this your topic off well well and the reason why e touch me na because of say i know you as person wey get good contribution to this board and the one wey pain me pass na be say you come write everything for English, like this na any external wey come this our board come observe fit go see am now come think say na play we dey play for here while we dey ask for merit source and other things.
I no go lie you, I dey respect you well well for this forum naim make me dey bring this advice come your dormot especially for this kind time wey we dey beg for something wey go help the board. Abeg if una won write this kind off topic make una use our normal pidgin make we for no cast for outside.

Just as I been talk before I no mean to vex you, and if my comment vex you in one wey or the other make you forgive me, I respect you, and if you no like the advice you fit disregard am, Thanks for your understanding.

This talk na 💯 percent true and I dey think am say why e be like that...I watch one video of graduating students wen them ask who Dem love pass between father and mother...all of them say mother..I come dey like wetin the father's dey do...most of the fathers no be because say them dey work hard to provide for the family...most of them feel say na mother duty to bond with the children... Everytime go meet your mother and children always go to who gives them listening ears

So many home is like this, Op, most time you don't blame father because they are going through a lot emotionally and otherwise, just imaging when a man wakes up in the morning, go about his daily hustle, and sometime he comes back in the night, at this time the might have slept except his wife, that's if she truly loves and care about the well being of this man, bro I must tell you that it is not easy for this men, if you put all this into consideration which time will this man have to bond with his children, if we say he should quit this kind of job that doesn't allow him to have time with his children, where will he get another one, we know this country is not a place to display such expenses resigning from a job when don't have a better offer, there are many things involved, men and something, God bless men. 

The reason wey you bring as the disadvantages of father wey dey stay for house, I no see am as disadvantages at all because you mentioned say if dey do something wrong him dey flog them and I see am say na better thing he do because if assume say the children do wetin dey right him no go flog them, so as for me the house wey father go dey with children no get disadvantage for my own opinion.

So many things wrong with am because if na you, you no go like check your investment time to time to see whether the investment dey grow positive or negative,

Another one be say if father and children no spend time with each e dey get effect because if father sick or he don old na him children go be his friend but of they no sabi each other from beginning e go dey hard to relate.

me and my father dey very very close and also my mom because i grew up in a family, were i was the only boy at the middle of 2 girls and the  most amazing part is that i'm still the head of the house and still the kind of pampad i'm receiving from my parent even the last born of the house is not getting it as i do sometimes she use to be like bro are sure that i'm the last born of the house,and i use to be like why are you saying that and she will keep saying that these people are not showing her enough care the way they do to me.

I no really experience dis kind life when I dey grow up, so I no think say I dey in a better position to give advise on what to do. All I know was that, me and my father dey very close and a day doesn’t pass by without us seeing each other unless he travels out of town. But make I still chip in small; for d society wey we dey, if father no get provide for family dem go day na bad father or an incapable person, and now again dis same society na him go still blame you if you dey focus on looking for money to feed d family with your type of work not permitting you to meet your family always. My question now be say; make him leave the work come sit down for house dey look the family and make dem all die of hunger or lack all basic amenities, sometimes no be their fault and if na understanding family dem suppose understand and na d mama go play vital role for here for d children not to think of their father as an irresponsible man or leaving the job of his fatherhood to them and focusing on making money only.

My brother it depends on the work wey some of our father dey do oo, but for me here I dey see my papa every weekend because he always travel for where he is posted to work but every weekend he always show up, sometimes sef he will not go to work like two weeks and we will be having some fun and discussion, we plenty for the family but to be honest all of us they close to him, and about your story wey you dey tell about your papa now, I understand how you will feel because living without spending a time with your dad is something that will make you feel like you don't have a dad sometimes, and also it lead some children to some of the habit that they did not support to do when they are still young.

Everything get advantage and disadvantage, the advantage of having a dad at home all the time is to make sure that the house is in his control, like when the children need something he can give them and most importantly showing your children love by letting them bold with you, but the disadvantage of dad at home is that some dad are very harsh, when they are at home some children won't feel comfortable because if they did anything wrong he will flog shege commot from their body, and again some father's that we see that they don't have chance to be at home with their children is not their fault, they need to work hard to make sure the family are doing okay because that is his duty and if he wants to come house to stay with the family it will be very difficult for them to eat sometimes at home, so in my opinion I don't see anything wrong with the father that works hard and did not have time to stay at home with his family.

OP this topic wey you open done touch me for heart and soul. Ah no go lie this one enter me. 

Me ah done try to call my father today him no Gree pick call. Almost evrytime we they get issues. The thing be say most fathers they act too smart like they no am finish. They no they like listen to your opinion or see your own side of view for things. Every time my papa they like make decisions for me and ah no be small pikin again. E suppose ask you weting you want for life or you wan become instead of to they impose am on you say you must do like this or like that. Me ah done try bringing this matter for our house make everybody hear am but the man mind just one day back.

Normally our father no go fit give us advice wey go hurt us. But things done change nah, nah technology everywhere. Me i like tech but the man they force me to go pursue higher certificate for my educational career.

Things dey happen oh, but no matter how hard we try this case go still happen to some young parents, e be like wetin we no fit avoid at all. Being a good parents na wetin we want but sometimes the responsibilities wey dey come with am go make many young parents forget to play their part as father's, imagine a father wey no know wetin pikin like or hate, some no sabi dia pikin birthday, na so e bad reach.

this one na very sad experience when person done de try to avoid seriously. Na matter how strong we de financial that longing to bond with our old man de always de there though e de hard us to show am. I pray say God go make us better parents when our children go de proud of.

This matter strong but as our fathers dey always take things as if nah dem go dey provide dem must work to d end to provide for the family, e no bad but if you no spend time with your children who go do am for you as a father?
Na the way the contri dey nai make fathers need to go hustle pass time wey dem suppose spend time with dia family, and if dem no do am like dat food no go dey for table, e hard oh, to be a father. But my own be say, no matter d little time dem give you for work as off or free time make you as a father make am count becos you need to relate with your family, no be only d mama go sabi everything about d children.
Me I no too get strong relationship with my father but no be work matter like this issue at hand but some other personal issues I no fit talk here but as I don almost get that bond nai my papa kick bucket, I still never for ones wake from dat dream, e still dey pain me.

I like the way you end the whole talk because at the end of the day oyibo go talk say na the family that comes out of you that matters most and not the one you came out from. But talking about myself, i think the moment  i always about getting really close to my father was the period  I lost him and most times, children don't really avoid their fathers because of the nature of their jobs but rather because of the way our fathers seemed strict and I think thr fathers of this present generation are already changing the narratives of fatherhood as I'm already seeing more of fathers getting really bonded to their children

E good to take the words of our elders serious. Our parents get a vital role to play in our lives and not just to provide. No parent go wish make him Pikin do bad or end up being a failure and this one your father give you nah beta advice but the thing be say, even if you marry from family you feel say dey bad, nah you get the right to change the status quo. Sometimes, families wey people dey regard as good and well behaved fit get one comma inside. This nah my own thinking Sha and I no go wan make you go out of wetin you don hold hand from your father.
  And to the op, I feel say for children to benefit from their fathers in terms of attention and all that, it all depends on how the father balance him schedule. Some people dey say work choke nai make them no fit get time. The truth be say time dey for everything but nah how you take arrange am na mata. E no go make sense say because you be breadwinner, you come lose that quality time you sopoz spend with them. What of when you grow old when you no fit go out to provide and you need them to spend time with you? Them fit no get that chance.

Me and my father dey very close and that closeness done helped my life for the things way he dey tell me as we stay dey talk. As in done die now, those things way he taught me now in I dey use dey guide myself away from problem. For example, one thing way in tell me be say make I no marry from bad families, such as a family way their female daughter's dey leave their husband go sleep with another man when them dey inside marriage and also make I no marry from the family way their children they thief so that I no go born piking way go thief too.

I don't know if it's only in this part of the world but from what I have seen, it's becoming very difficult to find someone who had a great bond with his father while growing up.

I understand that the father is the breadwinner of the home and that this demands that he work very hard to provide for the financial needs of the family. I also know that because of the nature of most work our fathers do, it doesn't give them that much chance to become available for the emotional, psychological, and the rendering of certain discipline to their children, but I think this shouldn't be enough reason why they will not bond with their kids once in a while.

I grew up in a house where my dad was always busy with work to the point where we only see him three times a year and because he feels he has been sending money across for upkeep, he doesn't seem bothered that the kids have missed the role of a father in there lives.

I also know so many youths that we grew up together that had similar and some, worse off experiences growing up with their parents, and now that we've grown and some of us have started a family of our own, some have started repeating this circle in their homes.

How do we balance the part of providing finance for the home and the responsibility of being there for our children as a father?

Abi  if we de provide for the financial need of our homes, e mean to say we don fulfill our role as fathers?