How do you handle borrowers? - page 3.

Kelward

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Quote from: JeromeTash on July 13, 2023, 04:47:41 PM

Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
In the past, if someone whom I am not certain about came to me asking for Financial assistance, I would only give them the amount am comfortable losing in case they don't repay. For the case of family members or very close friends, I give them without expecting it back.

If I feel like I can't afford to lend out the money I have, i just simply tell them that I don't have anything I can lend out at that moment. If they offer any form of tangible collateral, then well and good.

This is the best method to adapt when borrowing money to family and friends, lend the amount of money that you can afford to loose, so in the case where they can not repay, it'll not affect the relationship. Money matters are very sensitive, so we need to apply wisdom while dealing on financial matters with loved ones, because it's easy for envy and enemity to set in. So best thing is not to let them to know your true financial position, so as to avoid unnecessary enemity when you can not support financially or lend a loved one.

One of the disadvantages of disclosing how much you're truly worth to family and friends is because some envious and wicked ones among them will keep coming back for more financial help or lending that they have no intention of repaying until they're sure that you're broke at come down to their label. Some can even connive with criminals to plot how to steal from you, or worse kidnap or even murder, it's an extreme assumption, but it happens.

Sanugarid

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

This happened to my mom and the one who borrowed money from her was her brother, because my mom is also very kind and she can't stand her brother even though he is very stupid and has a separate family. Of course, the borrowed money was not paid until it reached the point where they were fighting and the children were already involved. In the end we were the bad ones, it was you who helped and you were the bad ones. 500k was borrowed money but it was not paid back. My mom let it go and what she did was that she didn't recognize that idiot as her brother, including his children. It was also a bad fight because I also fought with my cousin because he interfered in our parents' fight. We believe there is karma, just wait for them to come to them.

Zoomic

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

I will never displease myself to please other people. If I must lend anyone money, then it must be amounts I am willing to lose and not money I kept aside to use to settle specific needs because, some borrowers can be tricky, especially the ones that are related to you by blood because they know that the consequences of their actions will be very minimal. Most times, they might want to use emotional blackmail to lure you into lending to them sums you both know they cannot pay back. It is better you give out what you can afford to lose and forget about it, than giving out large sums you live to regret later. Many relationships have been ruined because of borrowing .

People really need to pay back their loans with the same energy they used to borrow it. This is the right thing to do.

Barikui1

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As a proud African that I am, I no longer borrow people due to the horrible experience I have had in the past.
If I have the money, I prefer giving you 50% of the money you ask free, than to borrow because most of the strain relationship I had now is due to borrowing and their in ability to pay back.
I try to main relationship by not borrowing, but giving it out free if the money is not that much.

jrrsparkles

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Quote from: Hispo on December 17, 2023, 08:21:13 PM

Quote from: jrrsparkles on December 16, 2023, 03:01:48 PM

Quote from: Bushdark on December 16, 2023, 01:35:52 PM

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

I cannot put my finger in what he means with that either, if I had to guess I suppose he means one could force someone to give us back the money through legal procedures or by negotiation of the interest rate, not sure.
In the worst case, I believe getting some colateral is the best idea when comes to giving money to strangers and also family members, getting clear terms about a loan can help for both people not to lose their relationship because of money.

Though, depending whom you ask, asking a family member for collateral would be frown upon or distasteful. Here in my culture family is supposed the be the most important thing, so asking for colateral would be seen rather as something distasteful.

Legal procedures for small loan that will never work in my opinion and if possible to get collateral then it will give you something to hold on to get the money back but we are talking about family and friends who we are close with that means asking for a collateral can be uncomfortable but denying is always better than regretting it.

Hispo

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Quote from: jrrsparkles on December 16, 2023, 03:01:48 PM

Quote from: Bushdark on December 16, 2023, 01:35:52 PM

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

I cannot put my finger in what he means with that either, if I had to guess I suppose he means one could force someone to give us back the money through legal procedures or by negotiation of the interest rate, not sure.
In the worst case, I believe getting some colateral is the best idea when comes to giving money to strangers and also family members, getting clear terms about a loan can help for both people not to lose their relationship because of money.

Though, depending whom you ask, asking a family member for collateral would be frown upon or distasteful. Here in my culture family is supposed the be the most important thing, so asking for colateral would be seen rather as something distasteful.

Y3shot

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Some humans are very difficult set of people, when lending money expecially to people at the time one needs to be careful. If it someone you don't really know much about the person if the money will be returned back at the due time, it is not advisable to lend such person a huge amount because it is a risk which their is no guarantee if the person will return the money or not. If at all we want to decide to lend people which will can tell how straightforward they are atleast we can start with the amount we can't afford to lose or not to give at all to avoid unnecessary problems to pay back the money.

jrrsparkles

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Quote from: Bushdark on December 16, 2023, 01:35:52 PM

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

Bushdark

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Quote from: jrrsparkles on December 15, 2023, 12:53:29 PM

Be clear that you never lend money to your family and friends, if you want to help then consider it as donation and never expect it to be returned cause if they has the ability to pay back then they could get a personal loan from their bank which means they are not in the position to pay you back and you still considering helping them then consider it as a complete loss.

It is very important for us to differentiate between family and friends. Borrowing your family members money and they are not ready to pay is something that can be settled amicably without any problem but we must also remember that it can always lead to big problem if the person in particular is not always ready to pay back. We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

uchegod-21

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

Many things have happened to me about borrowing and giving to friends. One thing is that when they know you have the mind of giving, more and more people will keep approaching you for giving or fake borrowing untill you go broke. If you stop helping, no one will die of course.

There's one that happened to me recently. Someone called me to lend him $200 that he will repay in month time. I was unable to lend him because I exhausted my fund for charity that month. Can you imagine that exactly the same day he promised to pay back the money, he chatted me up and was asking for any amount of money to fill gas. I sent him money for gas, and was like, assuming I gave that $200, there was no how it would be repaid.

Richbased

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

Well, in life you can never satisfy everyone even yourself because there are times when we needed something for ourselves but we prefer to assist others and deprive ourselves. Is quite unfortunate that in the society we are no matter how you help people they will still complain that you didn't give them much help then how about those that didn't get help at all. Borrowing money to people more especially relatives can be very stressful because they'll feel that since you're their relative you ain't gonna bother them so for me, any money I borrowed to a relation I consider that I have forgotten about it but if they still return it fine but if they don't I just allow the money to go.

passwordnow

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While it's hard to lose people, this is one way for you to get rid of the ones you hate. Whether you hand them their loan or not, they'll still dislike you after that. I don't know what's with these people that know how to borrow but when it's about paying, they seem to be forgetful or they start to have dementia.

No problem if the amounts are just like a few bucks that you can just buy some snacks of yours. But these people are also demanding a lot and more than hundred bucks equivalent to whatever purpose they're going to reason out. The point is if you're able, give them the exact amount they want but never ever think that they'll pay you back. Usually, they're comfortable because you are friends with them and they're not going to talk about it later on.

If you've dealt with such people, that's how it goes so choose wisely if you'll lend them or not because no matter what you do, you'll still bad in their eyesight after it especially when you give them the loan and asks to pay back.

jrrsparkles

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Be clear that you never lend money to your family and friends, if you want to help then consider it as donation and never expect it to be returned cause if they has the ability to pay back then they could get a personal loan from their bank which means they are not in the position to pay you back and you still considering helping them then consider it as a complete loss.

Miles2006

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In the aspect of lending money I can't relate, I don't agree with the of lending money to an unknown person, have seen several occasions when two people fought just because of dept and I'm not ready to fight with some else just because of dept so the best option here is to withdraw yourself from such act, sometimes the reason why some people can't pay back their dept the interest rate is just too high, I don't know how things are done in your area but here every month the interest rate keeps increasing if the deptor can't pay before the time so this are common reasons why people can't pay back their dept.

Concerning the family issue if you don't have the money to help that's fine but in a situation where the person has enough home and can't help maybe due to family needs and personal issue I will not also blame the person, it's best to employ if you have a company or finding a job for the person I think that's the best way cause when the person is financially stable there's no point disturbing you.

Mate2237

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Op this issue you brought to this forum is what has happened to some my family members. I really hate when financial deal has been made and the other party refused to accomplish his or her parr of the agreement. When you have borrowed money from someone and when the due date has reached and you are still postponing it and the owner of the money need the money to settle some of his problems at home. Last 4 months, my elder sister took $200 as of then and to pay back last month but the time comes, she postponed it to the ending of this month while I need money to buy things in this Christmas.

Frankly speaking it is not good to borrow money to someone you know very well. They will disappoint you.

Hewlet

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

rule number one is never to disclose how much you're earning to your relative. It will remove any form of entitlement from them because ones they know how much you re earning, it's going to be very difficult to refuse giving them money since they already know you have the money.

But if you've already given them the money, it's always very difficult to take it back because most of them wouldn't even want to give you back. Whenever I give a relative money, I just convince myself that they won't be paying the money back. If they pay it back, it's good but if not, I meuve

Essential10

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

Avoid putting yourself in a difficult financial situation by overextending yourself to help others. It is important to be careful when lending money to others. It is better to lend money to people you trust. But I once lent money to my friend but he couldn't pay back on time when I was in dire need. Later my relationship with him got destroyed. Later I realized, when I needed money he had no money his financial situation was very bad. One thing I have learned since that incident is that if one has to lend money to the nearest person one must check his financial background.

SmartCharpa

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Quote from: Queentoshi on July 13, 2023, 04:37:55 PM

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

We can't put family issues aside, so no matter how you try to help someone when you're not wealthy enough, it will undoubtedly cause problems for you. The way I handle people who used to borrow money and never pay it back is that I give it to them when they come to me for the first time and tell me about the problems they need the money for, knowing that I might need it myself too. However, I make sure that doesn't happen twice if the person didn't pay back. When someone asks to borrow money from me again and shows no signs of returning it, I won't question where about the previous one he borrowed, instead, I'll just tell him that I don't have any more and that my problems are too big for me to handle.

If you keep giving them, they'll start to take advantage of you and keep borrowing money for their problems without making the repayment, which is really frustrating.

Jenwi

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Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
I think that is the best thing to do, if you are not ready to loose it. Don't lend it.

BADecker

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When they ask for money, tell them you can't loan it to them. When they ask why not, tell them that you heard a really good sermon at church, that all about how Jesus said to give to those who asked from you, and to not turn away from those who want to borrow from you. And that the sermon was so good that you are giving the money to the church, instead of loaning it.

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