That was my concern also. That is why I would leave only encrypted paperwallets/stamped seeds in 2 different safes which would require from a bank thieve to know about both and rob both.
There are some things in your requirements that are not exactly clear, but depending on the exact details of the requirements, I'd consider using locktime and multisig to handle most of your concerns.
The biggest issue you'd run into with such a solution is that there could be a significant gap in time between when you die and when your heirs can access the bitcoins.
I thought about that but I do not know of any easy tool to put multisig or timelock into practice. Any suggestions?
I feel that by using something I am not comfortable with I would be my own worst enemy and essentially lock myself out of funds.