Topic: I feel guilty. - page 2. (Read 513 times)
We will all be responsible for the kind of decision we make regardless of the outcome that may comes in after to be either good or bad, that's why we beed to be very careful in what decision we make, it is better to look before we leap because some steps taken were better not started because they may lead to an everlasting consequences we may ever regret of, also we must be careful in receiving advise from friends, beware they may gives you an advice even them cannot take.
I have quit smoking a long time ago because of its health consequences. But since I met him, I have felt guilty that I am responsible for my friend's downfall.
You should not be guilty because it's not your fault. He end up in that situation because it is his choice. Well, it's a human nature to blame someone for the unfortunate things that happened in our lives because we can't accept that it is us who drive ourselves to where we are now. Because if you don't like to end up in such situation then why you didn't control yourself right? Even someone convince you to do this or do that, you will not follow it if you know it's not good for yourself. 
You are giving yourself too much credit. Sure, you intruduced him to it but it's only tobacco. Problem is that your friend don't want to be an adult.
Tobacco doesn't make anyone drunkard or make them wear rags. It doesn't make you misbehave or act criminally, drop school or anything like that.
And the fact he told you it was your fault just shows that he doesn't want to take any responsibility for his own choices like an adult. Like he wouldn't have grown at all.
I am sad to say but if he thinks that nothing is his own fault, and he isn't n charge of his actions, he can't really even start to fight the alcoholism he has.
Tobacco doesn't make anyone drunkard or make them wear rags. It doesn't make you misbehave or act criminally, drop school or anything like that.
And the fact he told you it was your fault just shows that he doesn't want to take any responsibility for his own choices like an adult. Like he wouldn't have grown at all.
I am sad to say but if he thinks that nothing is his own fault, and he isn't n charge of his actions, he can't really even start to fight the alcoholism he has.
Yeah, you introduced him but it doesn't mean that you're the sole responsible for whatever he's experiencing right now. He's at his own fault and never controlled himself. It's like someone who introduced a friend to bitcoin and then the bear market has come and the current value of his investment went down, so that person who's at loss is looking for someone to blame. Don't feel guilty about but it's a good lesson that you'll not introduce anyone anymore to what you're doing.
In this case, it is true that the OP cannot be blamed because the other friend is also old enough to be aware and responsible for his behavior, and should not blame others when failing.
But this is a lesson not only for the OP and for all of us that advising someone really should be considered, especially financial advice, because they are very risky. Before giving advice, we need them to confirm that they will take all responsibility for the outcome because when they succeed, we don't benefit from them either.
Yeah, you introduced him but it doesn't mean that you're the sole responsible for whatever he's experiencing right now. He's at his own fault and never controlled himself. It's like someone who introduced a friend to bitcoin and then the bear market has come and the current value of his investment went down, so that person who's at loss is looking for someone to blame. Don't feel guilty about but it's a good lesson that you'll not introduce anyone anymore to what you're doing.
You don’t have to blame yourself. It’s not that you forced him to learn to smoke. He still doesn’t face his mistakes and blames you. It’s because of your kindness that he feels guilty but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
Everyone has to be responsible for his own behavior. He can't control his addiction to smoking. Lack of self-control is his own problem. Curiosity killed the cat. Smoking is not illegal. Being tired can relieve fatigue, but he is decadent and not working every day. self inflicted.
In my opinion, your friend just wants to blame everything on you. he doesn't want to feel guilty and ostracized by others just because he smokes and drinks. therefore, he blames you for everything. and automatically people will glance at you and blame you.
from your story, it was he who forced him to smoke, not you who forced him to smoke. if you force other people to smoke of course you are wrong and must be responsible. but this is not your fault. because, he himself wanted to smoke.
sometimes advising people who are drunk and smoked is a bit difficult. because their minds will only be directed to smoking and drinking.
but in my opinion, everyone can definitely change to be even better than before. while he is still given time and life.
from your story, it was he who forced him to smoke, not you who forced him to smoke. if you force other people to smoke of course you are wrong and must be responsible. but this is not your fault. because, he himself wanted to smoke.
sometimes advising people who are drunk and smoked is a bit difficult. because their minds will only be directed to smoking and drinking.
but in my opinion, everyone can definitely change to be even better than before. while he is still given time and life.
I'm so sorry, but in my opinion, you are not at fault for your friend's actions, and you should not feel guilty about it because you didn't make him smoke, you tried to stop him from doing so the first time, but he persisted, and on the other hand, you didn't get him to start drinking alcohol. I believe that he should take responsibility for joining you in smoking, so in my opinion, you are not the one who destroyed his life or career.
Always remember, feeling guilty doesn't mean you are guilty. Need to look at and evaluate the facts.
In addition, maintaining personal guilt feelings for a long while is something that makes one more guilty than being guilty of whatever. If you are guilty, fix things as you can, and then let it go, before your guilt feelings become something to be guilty of. There is only so much that you can do.
In addition, maintaining personal guilt feelings for a long while is something that makes one more guilty than being guilty of whatever. If you are guilty, fix things as you can, and then let it go, before your guilt feelings become something to be guilty of. There is only so much that you can do.
Yes you may feels guilty for now because you're the one that got him into such behavioural attitude and lifestyle but i can tell you that even without you taking part in it your friend will still end up in thesame condition through someone else, why i said this is because I know of some people that are not self dependent in decision making, such easy got influenced amidst peers, they dont know what's good or bad for them or even create time for themselves to discover why things are in such a way, you advise him and he chose to accept.
In life, everyone has they ways of doing things. One man downfall can't be used to label another person success. Even though you didn't allowed him to smoke he would used or meant another person to smoke. Destiny is different. Everyone has their destiny in the way they want.
But in the court of law, since he started the journey of that bad life with you then you have played a part to it. You would have counselled him from beginning. From Marxians perspective, In the educational setting, it is good to spoiled someone but you have to be counselling the person everytime so he or she will not deviate from the societal norms.
Identifying your guiltiness is nice. Pray for your friend
But in the court of law, since he started the journey of that bad life with you then you have played a part to it. You would have counselled him from beginning. From Marxians perspective, In the educational setting, it is good to spoiled someone but you have to be counselling the person everytime so he or she will not deviate from the societal norms.
Identifying your guiltiness is nice. Pray for your friend
When I was a child and I was in secondary primary School what are teachers dolls when they noticed that whoever that is sitting behind us is a noisemaker and it does not want the person to understand what the teacher is saying is by separation separating the student from another student, so since you have encounter all this I believe that what you would have done is that you have change a holster because there is nothing we make that your friend is both of you continue not to influence you on how to smoke
It is human to feel the way you do knowing that you turned out great and your friend not so much.
Obviously, you did it in moderation and not to the extent of letting to control your life such that when you decided to quit it, you had the power to.
Maybe your friend turned to it for coping. And would drown himself in the habit as a way to escape his reality. Not that you won't be able to help him unless he wants to be helped.
What you should do is to show what is possible and how much he his life will be better if he chooses to quit and then allow him to make the decision.,
Obviously, you did it in moderation and not to the extent of letting to control your life such that when you decided to quit it, you had the power to.
Maybe your friend turned to it for coping. And would drown himself in the habit as a way to escape his reality. Not that you won't be able to help him unless he wants to be helped.
What you should do is to show what is possible and how much he his life will be better if he chooses to quit and then allow him to make the decision.,
That kind of feeling made you a good person and didn't put the blame on yourself because of how it turns out, you don't really know whether you are the only one who influenced him to smoke or later on he was introduced to some friends who are also heavy smokers. If you truly care for him, nag him to stop smoking in a friendly way where you will try some good method to convince him if simple reasoning doesn't work for him. Don't let it happen where the doctors will say to him he needs to stop or else he will gonna die because of complications caused by constant smoking.
As long has your roommate is an adult he/she is responsible for what ever action the decide to take. If it his/her own idea to start smoking with you then the blame should rather be on him or her and not you. Things make people chose a certain lifestyle and sometimes it could be out of frustration, depression or the concern of missing out on some fun. Every adult should be able to know what the want for themselves.
completely it's not your fault, it's just that your friend is regretting his actions but looking for someone else's outlet to blame.
and your friend became like that because of his own choice doesn't mean it's your fault. if indeed your friend is an adult he should act and behave quite well avoiding anything that can damage his own body.
you don't need to feel guilty, your friend is not your responsibility but he has a responsibility that he must accept himself.
and your friend became like that because of his own choice doesn't mean it's your fault. if indeed your friend is an adult he should act and behave quite well avoiding anything that can damage his own body.
you don't need to feel guilty, your friend is not your responsibility but he has a responsibility that he must accept himself.
He's just looking for someone to blame for his behaviour or vices. I am not saying it is your fault since it is his wrongdoing that put him in the situation where he is and you have nothing to do with it since it is his own action that led to that, like dropping out of school and being unemployed. Though you may have influenced him to become a smoker, but it is only the vices, not what happens in his life. I wouldn't be guilty if I were you, so I'll tell everyone on the bus that he is just lazy and want to sit around, smoke, and drink beer without taking care of his life.
I feel for your friend based on the way you narrated the story, you shouldn't feel guilty about your friend's current situation because it wasn't your fault. That is why we shouldn't copy some addictive habit from people because we like them,this is because it is easy for them to stop but we the copy cat might get trapped in it and will not be able to come out from it.
When next you see him counsel him and tell him that there is still hope in life,use yourself as a case study,let him know that smoking is not good for him,tell him why you stopped,what helped you to stop. After all these let him know about bitcoin,explain to him how bitcoin has helped you then if he is interested,you can introduce him to this forum so that he can get busy with forum activities. Lastly always pray for him to change this bad habit that has ruined him.
Merry Xmas
When next you see him counsel him and tell him that there is still hope in life,use yourself as a case study,let him know that smoking is not good for him,tell him why you stopped,what helped you to stop. After all these let him know about bitcoin,explain to him how bitcoin has helped you then if he is interested,you can introduce him to this forum so that he can get busy with forum activities. Lastly always pray for him to change this bad habit that has ruined him.
Merry Xmas
It's not your fault, he has become a loser and he has no place to blame, and unfortunately, when you see him again. People who fail are more likely to blame others than to take the blame on themselves, no one is responsible for our lives but ourselves.
...you can get him introduced to crypto and Bitcointalk forum, that should be the best favour for him from my opinion.
What his friend needs right now is to quit drinking, quit smoking, and get a good job outside than going to this forum and investing in bitcoin. With people like him, I fear that he will become addicted to gambling rather than becoming an investor. Don't rush to introduce him to the forum, with bitcoin, see if his actions change. Jump to: