Topic: I feel guilty. - page 3. (Read 448 times)

here you are not wrong, you introduce cigarettes to him without knowing the possibilities that will happen to him in the future, when we were teenagers we often tried to try naughty things and i personally never asked people to do the same thing as me ^{(cigarettes, gambling or sex)} because i know that everyone's mouth cannot be locked tightly, just see what happened to you, you feel guilty.  i advise you not to try to meet your that friend again.

Hey mate please you shouldn't ever feel guilty or regret for whatever happened and I only feel sorry for you for the embarrassment he might have caused you at the bus stop.
There is this African proverb that says "IF E NO GOOD FOR YOUR HEAD, QUIT" I guess he took that for granted and the unexpected happened. I'm happy you had restrictions and this should also serve as an example for people to learn from and don't let leer pressure have so much impact on them but rather do what is right even if it means standing out of the crowd.
I will advise that since you're feeling guilty for him and you now found him, you shouldn't let the incidence at the bus stop binder you from helping him,
You can pay for a possible rehab for him a d place him on treatment and when his back to normal, you can get him introduced to crypto and Bitcointalk forum, that should be the best favour for him from my opinion.

First of all I want to remind you guys about passive smoking, anyone who exhales the smoke from cigars affect the people around you even though they never had smoke in their life so avoid doing it in case if there is a situation.

About OP, you didn't actually made him to smoke to be honest because as per your statement he forced you to smoke with you and then he build wrong habits which destroyed his life so his own decision is the actual reason not yours.

You do not have to take responsibility for your room mate's action, except what you told us here was not what actually happened with both of you. You can not continue to feel guilty for another person's decision. It is unheard of. If he was old enough to badger you for smokes, he should also be brave enough to accept the consequences of his action. If am you I will stop trying yo talk him out of the habit whenever I run into him so he does not keep spreading false accusation against you. Just leave him alone to his fate.

There are some things one did out of ignorance while some were been intentional about their actions because they only want to wicked others, but i think in your own case it's not your fault, even though if you asked someone to put his hands in the fire, he will have to decided by himself to do so or not, but this wasn't much your fault because you never exercise force is influencing your friend but he had also decided to go by your wrong advise.

If your friend wanted to smoke with you, it means he already had the intentions of smoking and would have gone ahead to still try out smoking with another person but you. Don't overbeat yourself, If you had been the one to lure and convince him to join you in smoking, the guilt you carry would have been justifiable, but the case is different. You can still go ahead with your plan to try to help him, but don't base it on because you feel guilty that you are the cause for his situation.

I don't think I'd be guilty if I were in your shoes as everyone is responsible for every actions they take. What your friend is looking for is someone who he can blame for his misfortune and frankly it's not your fault. You can take a horse to the stream, but it's left for the horse to drink.

 I believe he's a victim of the choices he made and inasmuch as you felt you introduced him to the act, there's the possibility that he was a recovering addict who had no control over his desires.

Even though you directly taught him about cigarettes, you did nothing wrong and committed no guilt. At that time, both you and he are mature enough, it can be said to be old enough to take responsibility for your actions. It's sad what's happening to him, alcoholism and unemployment, but that's because he hasn't been able to overcome the temptations of life.
But after all, if you still see him as a friend and he needs help, and if possible, I support your thinking, you need to put him in rehab and rebuild his life.

In life everything is about choice. Your friend have every right not to smoke or drink because he's not a toddler, he knows what's good for him and what's not good for him.
You feeling guilty is normal, at least you have conscience to look for a way to correct your mistakes if I should say.
Is very bad to allow something that you suppose to control, control you as a person. If you can't withstand the urge is better to quit, so don't hit yourself that much it was meant to happen.

You are not responsible for the actions of others, and we are all subject to changing our behavior in different ways, depending on the extent of our experience in each period of our lives.

When you were a student, it means that your friend is mature, his behavior is conscious, and he did not regret the mistake he made when he accepted your invitation until after a long time had passed, and you yourself did not feel guilty until after you met him after a long time. In addition, he himself may have caused the same thing to other people.

I know it's bad to show people how to do smoke/drugs/alcohol, but eventually it's their own choice and not yours. I also think tempting others to have outside of marriage sex is equally wrong.
Maybe try and advise people to do the good instead of the bad, telling people to do and be good has no negative consequence, contrary to telling them or teaching them to do the bad and unholy. Make sure not to make the same or similar mistake, no one can force us how to live and what to do, he chose that path all by himself, your action might have pushed him to go on that path sooner rather later, no matter what this is his own doing.
God will forgive you, don't beat yourself up and move on with your life, if you could help him to get out of that life, much better, but if he refused the help, then you have no responsibility.

When it comes to the incident you described, you shouldn't feel bad because you aren't the main reason for his problems. He wanted to fit in, and you gave him that opportunity even though you didn't want him to. It was a school situation, and after school you withdrew, leaving him to carry on, which led to his wayward life. Don't blame yourself; it's not your fault. The lesson I took away from this is to never be the cause of someone starting to smoke, drink, or become addicted to sex because they will point the finger at you when they ask.

At OP.

Sounds like the roommate's original problem wasn't smoking. Sounds like he was too much of a psychotic introvert or something. After all, he could smoke on his own any time he wanted. But he was too chicken to be alone. He could have gone out and made other friends to smoke with, but he was too chicken to make other friends.

Your problem was that you didn't recognize his problem. Your second problem was that you didn't recognize that you didn't force him to do anything... or did you jump him, and force a lit cigarette into his mouth and make him breathe by pushing on his chest.

Your third problem is that you admitted to something on the bus. There are other ways to avoid questions than by outright admitting to them.

Now, don't tell us you graduated with flying colors as a psychologist.

You aren't responsible for the actions of another person.  You had a pastime that your roommate wanted to take part in with you and they ended up going a little overboard with it.  It's not like you're the only person in the world who would have shown them that smoking is a thing.  It's ok to feel bad and adjust your behavior to avoid doing things that may make you feel bad in the future, like introducing people to harmful habits.  However, people are their own beings and it isn't up to you to decide how a person lives their life.  I'm sorry this situation went bad for your roommate, but other than offer your help to get them on the right track, there isn't much you can do.

I’m kinda loss on the introduction. Your friend badgering you to smoke with because he saw you smoking while he is still not smoking at that time right? The intro seems like he is the one teaching you how to smoke though.

Don’t feel guilty because he has responsibility for himself on handling smoke. He is the one become curious on experimenting smoke when he see you that means he can still do this even to other people that doing smoke because he has urge to explore smoking. He will turn on that state eventually even if you didn’t smoke with back then.

The person itself don’t blame you so you should do the same. I have a father who’s a heavy smoker too but me and my brother doesn’t turn to become a smoker even though we try it before when we are a kid.

While I was a student, my roommate each time he saw me smoking was always disturbing me that he wanted to smoke with me. At first, I rejected his plea but when he persisted we started smoking together. His urge for smoking within a few months grew more than mine. He began to come home with packs of cigarettes and some bottles of beer. I don't drink alcohol but I was sure that it was the introduction to smoking that also attracted him to alcohol.

Recently I met him in a motor park,  he is now a chained smoker and drunkard. He was practically wearing rags and misbehaving. I called him and we started talking, I discovered that he dropped out of school and was now unemployed. When I tried to advise him to quit this destructive character, he began to shout telling everyone that cared to hear that I was the one that introduced him to smoking. He told them that I was responsible for his problems. People on my bus began to ask me if it was true and I shamefully told them; yes!

I have quit smoking a long time ago because of its health consequences. But since I met him, I have felt guilty that I am responsible for my friend's downfall.

I have decided never to introduce anybody to any behavior that can be addictive no matter how mature the person might claim to be. Introducing people to smoking, drinking, sex, gambling or other counterproductive activities might be funny or interesting but it could be destructive. I am considering apologizing to him and taking him to a rehabilitation center if I ever set my eyes on him again.