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Topic: Improve my article - page 2. (Read 3851 times)

legendary
Activity: 1246
Merit: 1016
Strength in numbers
January 21, 2011, 07:38:31 AM
#4
Thank you, ribuck. That is all very helpful. I am going to incorporate every numbered suggestion. I want it to be good enough that people 'steal' it and put it everywhere Smiley


Bitcoin is a more modern solution. Bitcoins are not dug out of the ground, they are found when computers solve a math problem that validates Bitcoin transactions and prevents double spending. Anyone can use their computer to help processes transactions.

There are only two ways to get bitcoins: contribute resources to the network or provide goods or services that people with bitcoins want. There are no privileged users, and there's no backdoor access to free coins.

The number of new bitcoins issued in return for processing transactions decreases gradually to nothing over the next 120 years resulting in a fixed limit of 21 million bitcoins. At some point the low number of new coins alone will not be a sufficient incentive for participation in the processing network. Users will have the option to attach a fee for faster processing. That fee will go to those working to process transactions.

Bitcoins are divisible. The Bitcoin software shows the familiar two digits for cents, but a bitcoin really has precision to the hundred millionths place. A Coke costs about 3 bitcoins now, maybe in the future it will cost .003BTC.

Sending and receiving bitcoins is easy. The Bitcoin software creates receiving addresses for you; you give an address to the payer and wait for them to send coins. Once you have coins, you can pay by copying and pasting the recipient's receiving address and entering the amount you want to pay.

Payments cannot be revoked.

Payments appear to the recipient immediately after they are made, but it takes 10 minutes on average for the network to confirm that the coins now belong to the recipient's address. You do not need to be online to receive coins, they will be waiting for you.

Payments can be anonymous, but aren't by default, just like cash could be anonymous if you were very careful.


Okay, I changed quite a bit. I think it is more clear now, but it's hard to tell if that's only inside my head. Feedback very much appreciated.
donator
Activity: 826
Merit: 1060
January 21, 2011, 06:54:37 AM
#3
It's a very well-written article, and you've approached it from a great angle too.

Here are a few stylistic suggestions to consider, but really they're so trivial that I'm reluctant to suggest them:

1. How about writing "billion" and "trillion" instead of B and T? You're presumably writing for a non-technical audience.

2. I would put a comma before "and for good reason".

3. Some of your readers won't know what a Krugerrand is. You could replace the phrase "break that tenth ounce Krugerrand into nine pieces and mail one to you" by "break their gold coin into tiny pieces and mail one piece to you".

4. I would replace the comma by a colon after "two ways to get bitcoins".

5. I would add "and there's" before "no backdoor access".

6. It's difficult for people to assimilate new concepts, but consistent wording helps. You could replace "you give one address to the payer" by "you give a payment address to the payer", and you could replace "pasting the recipient's address" by "pasting the recipient's payment address". This matches your use of "payment address" earlier in the paragraph. Actually I prefer the term "receiving address", because some readers might assume that "payment" refers to an outgoing payment.

7. Replace "hard limit" by "fixed limit". The term "hard limit" is heavily used in computing, but to the lay reader the word "hard" is synonymous with "difficult".

These things are all very minor, and it wouldn't be a problem to publish your article without any of these changes.

There is, however, one part of your article which I don't think is clear to someone who doesn't already understand Bitcoin:

Quote
Payments appear immediately, but will not be confirmed until someone includes them in a valid solution

Earlier in the article, you implied that the solution was bitcoin ("Bitcoin is a more modern solution"). You did also refer to "the reward for solving a problem", but didn't explain what kind of problem you're referring to. World hunger, for example? You did explain this by saying "computers solving a math problem who's solution validates transactions and prevents double spending", but that's not clearly tied to the other references.

Perhaps you could rework those parts to refer to the familiar concept of "transaction processing" instead of "solving math problems". Something like "Bitcoins are not dug out of the ground, they are generated by computers processing Bitcoin transactions in a way that is computationally difficult but which validates transactions and prevents double spending".

That's not an optimum wording either, so feel free to ignore this whole post. After all, the perfect is the enemy of the good.
legendary
Activity: 1372
Merit: 1008
1davout
January 21, 2011, 04:24:53 AM
#2
This is really nice and clearly summed up
legendary
Activity: 1246
Merit: 1016
Strength in numbers
January 21, 2011, 04:09:16 AM
#1
Money is useful. You've probably noticed some of the benefits. Don't want to plant trees, cut them down, and build your own furnature? Use money instead. Having trouble assembling that car from handmade parts in your garage? Money can solve this too. Money can help us take vacations or retire. Work now, save the money, relax later.

Of course you have to get some first. It takes some effort, but there are countless ways to do it, wash dishes, mow lawns, paint fences, train dogs, design jet engines, etc. You'll know that you're helping someone too since they wouldn't part with any of their limited cash if you weren't. Anything you offer to sell or do for dollars helps the dollar stay valuable. After all unless there are people who are willing to accept dollars for their goods and services they aren't that useful.

To recap: Do some work someone else finds useful, get money, use money to get other people to do useful things for you. There's a nice balance, you do some work, some work is done for you, and thanks to money, it doesn't have to be with the same person or on the same day or even in the same year.

This could be the end of the story. But, unfortunately, our money is easily printed paper and easily created computer bits. There are people who don't need to do work in order to get money, they just summon more into existence. This means they take from the pool of goods and services without putting goods and services back in. The effect is that more money chases fewer goods and services.

This is why you can't get a Coke for 5 cents anymore. It isn't because it's gotten harder to make a Coke, it hasn't. Every step in the process has been made more efficient many times over. The difference is that in 1950 the money supply was $135B and today it is roughly $13T, that's about a hundred times larger. Efficiency gains are the reason Coke doesn't cost $5 per bottle. It's worth noting that in some areas, like computing, gains in efficiency come so fast that prices fall despite the rate at which new money is pumping in. Falling prices are not a problem for producers or consumers, they are are a good and natural result of innovation.

How can we keep our efficiency gains from being bled away by money printers? It's a big problem, but there are solutions.

Gold has a long history as a money and for good reason. Gold is limited in supply; getting new gold requires actually doing work digging it up, and eventually even that will no longer be possible. Gold is compact; you can probably put your lifetime wages in a backpack. It is easy to identify because it doesn't tarnish and it's denser than almost every other element (watch out for tungsten). Unfortunately, if you want to sell your hand knit coffee mug cozies for gold, your customer is going to have to break that tenth ounce Krugerrand into nine pieces and mail one to you. You'll probably end up settling for dollars via PayPal and buying the gold yourself (if gold is what you want). While a system for trading in gold could be arranged, it's hard to get started on your own.

Bitcoin is a more modern solution. Bitcoins are not dug out of the ground, they are found by computers solving a math problem who's solution validates transactions and prevents double spending.  

There are only two ways to get bitcoins, contribute resources to the network or provide goods or services that people with bitcoins want. There are no privileged users, no backdoor access to free coins.

The reward for solving a problem decreases gradually to nothing over the next 120 years resulting in a hard limit of 21 million bitcoins. When new coins are not a sufficient incentive users will have the option to attach a fee to transactions which will go to whoever solves the problem containing that transaction.

Bitcoins are divisible. The Bitcoin software shows the familiar two digits for cents, but a coin really has precision to the hundred millionths place. A Coke costs about 3 bitcoins now, maybe in the future it will cost .003BTC.

Sending and receiving bitcoins is easy. The Bitcoin software creates payment addresses for you; you give one address to the payer and wait for them to send coins. Once you have coins, you can pay by copying and pasting the recipient's address and entering the amount you want to pay.

Payments cannot be revoked.

Payments appear immediately, but will not be confirmed until someone includes them in a valid solution. This takes 10 minutes on average. You do not need to be online to receive coins, they will be waiting for you.

Payments can be anonymous, but aren't by default, just like cash could be anonymous if you wore a mask.

The main drawback is that Bitcoin is not yet widely accepted. This is changing quickly because it's simple to start accepting payment with Bitcoin. You can see a list of exchangers and merchants at bitcoin.org/trade. You can download the Bitcoin software at bitcoin.org, or if you want someone else to manage your coins I recommend mybitcoin.com. You can learn more at the Bitcoin forums, bitcoin.org/smf or the wiki at en.bitcoin.it.


I've tried to keep it non-technical, but I didn't want to claim magic either. I want to make sure I didn't say or imply anything untrue. Suggestions on making it more persuasive or more accurate would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to get a good explanation of what the problem Bitcoin solves is and why Bitcoin is the solution.

Tell me about any grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors you see too.
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