If this is true (I am not sure), perhaps it is because of:
1. | Starting some new treatments (AHCC, EGCG, L-Lysine, CoQ10, co-enzyme B Healthy VitB complex, carrots, bitter melon to lower blood sugar, no or minimal carbohydrates in any form including sugars from fruits, Vitamin D3 via whole body skin exposure to sun daily and must shower before as D3 is formed at follicles, washes off, requires 24 hours to absorb) for my peripheral neuropathy (likely caused by 2006 HPV infection) which also (in additional to nerve problems at the feet, hands, etc) manifests as headaches and abdominal pain (tumor?) fucking malaise. By "malaise", I mean imagine someone stole 50 of your IQ points. Can't think with that groggy head, chronic fatigue syndrome, welcome to zombie, vegetable-state. |
2. | Really wanting to prove to myself I can still code and not talk without a purpose of action. Challenging myself everyday to work on my discipline (gritting my teeth to push myself to exercise to deal with this malaise that seems to cause me to be only capable of talking). "Those who can't build, talk". Grrr. It is humiliating for me to see I have become a wind pipe. Is this what old age will be for me! Hell no I hope not. |