Well, first you need to make sure you're using the correct units for everything. When you say "16000 to 18000 watts a month" do you mean 18000 watts of continuous draw for one month, or do you mean 18000 kilowatt-hours in a month's time? Kilowatt-hours is what your meter reflects and what you are billed on. Watts is power, which means instantaneous draw of volts and amps. Watt-hours are energy, which is the integrated total power during a length of time. 18000KWh in a 30-day month (720 hours) corresponds to a 25000W continuous draw, which would be 104A at 240V, or about 65% of your rated draw assuming an 80% safety margin on 200A.
Adding 4KW to that would take you to about 76%.
When you upgraded to 200A service, did you get the wire from the transformer to your breaker panel replaced with something beefier and rated for 200A continuous draw? That could be part of the limitation. (which is what phil just mentioned while I was typing this up)
Messing up the sine wave is probably referring to power factor, which is a more complex topic where non-resistive loads and nonlinear loads cause the current and voltage waveforms to be out of sync, which causes extra transmission losses and noise the power company has to deal with. If you're using fairly cheap power supplies without good power factor correction (PFC) you're probably putting a lot of noise on the line.
I would say, based on your initial post, that it's probably best to take the electrician's advice until you learn a bit more about how power transmission and measurement works. There's a lot of things you said that don't quite make sense, which points to a lack of understanding.
To the op I have more more thing to say the outside feeder cable is warm to the touch. Was the sun hitting that cable?
If you wake up at 5 am and go touch the cable and it is warm to the touch you are pulling too much power.
As sidehack mentioned 200a at 80 percent is 160 amp x 240 = about a 38400 watt draw that is 38 x 24 = 912 kwatts per day max
or 27360 kwatts a month..
BTW I would never try that on a 200 amp system you are mentioning 16,000 to 18,000 watts if you mean 18 kwatts x 24 x 30
you would be doing 12,960 of 27,360 you should not have hot or warm wires