And this has caused me to rethink my views. Im such a believer in personal freedom, but I dont really see how the endgame for freetrade can be anything other than disaster.
There is a selfishness to Libertarianism which is unappealing to me. It isnt explicit, and it isnt necessary by default, but human nature is by default selfish.
Correct, which is why we can't have a state: those with the power are too selfish to handle it, unless they're made of metal and wire, and always use it to make themselves rich.
When you extrapolate this selfishness out a thousandfold into the future, the disparity between the haves and have nots becomes cataclysmic to civil society.
Correct, when you have a state; people can't get rich when you don't give them your money, and if you give them your money then you agree they should have it. The only time this is not true is when the money is taken from you forcibly, either by taxing you directly or inflating the currency or giving special rights to businesses (i.e. corporations.) The divide between the poor and the rich without the state depends on how much good you contribute to the world, which I find entirely justified as a poor individual in this society will provide no benefit in being wealthy despite his lack of contribution, i.e. socialist beliefs are anti-humanitarian as they take from those successful in improving the world and give to those unsuccessful in improving the world, even bringing the world down. This makes 0 sense in a world with a state where rich people get rich because they pillage, but it makes sense in the libertarian ideal where people actually have to do good to become wealthy.
The only way I can see a libertarian capitalist utopia actually working is when people at the very very top, the .001%, act in a manner which benefits society at large.
They must, otherwise they'll have no other venue to remain rich. To be successful in the market is to successfully accommodate people's needs and desires; if you don't do this, you won't be rich. Except when there's a state.
But the problem is, for every Warren Buffet and Bill Gates, there are 10 Dick Cheneys and Mitt Romneys.
What'll they do without a military at their beck and call, beg you to donate all your money to them? You could have a million Dicks and Mitts for every Warren and Bill, it wouldn't matter if they have no justified force.
You seem to be under the impression that libertarianism is "rule by the rich". All I can say here is that you have a very mistaken understanding of libertarianism (unless you're referring to minarchists and TLP, who are just as confused as you are.) Libertarianism has a very, very basic and fundamental political philosophy, but a far more expansive economic counterpart which will help you understand what I'm talking about:
https://mises.org/Furthermore, I'm not rich nor white by any means. Maybe you just happen to be white and know a lot of rich white people.