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Topic: Lauda is a WITCH, who cast an evil spell on me! BURN THE WITCH! (Read 1535 times)

hero member
Activity: 1246
Merit: 588


Well, that’s nothing.  Lauda became angry at me when I failed to keep up a regular schedule of worshipping the devil and oppressing spammers and scammers poor, innocent denizens of the forum.  Now, it is difficult for me to type any posts at all.  Just look at me!  My fingers!

Loading photo of nullius as a newt...
nullius under Lauda’s spell
(Photo credit: Connor Long.)



I can't help it but I think lauda atleast tries to be a little bit creative. Cause I found your new look really cute tho  Roll Eyes
Now what's important are the things that might happen next after the "out of this world" that lauda did to you(as you've stated). If lauda then tries to hurt you that would really be so awful. How can that lauda hurt your little fingers  Huh that can really be so unacceptable.
legendary
Activity: 1288
Merit: 1926
฿ear ride on the rainbow slide
Looking at this thread and the witchcraft test I think Lauda might be in trouble.

1. Is the suspect a woman?
2. Does she have a pet?
3. Does she have a wart?
4. Is she irritating?
5. Is she weird around your kids?
6. Is she old?
7. Has she stopped going to church?
8. Has she threatened you — and then it totally came true?
9. Have you seen her spirit in your house at night?
10. Has she confessed?

Charges could be dropped by a relative’s defense in a trial by combat, or by twelve people swearing an oath of the accused’s innocence.

You can burn the witch alive in order to save their soul.
copper member
Activity: 23
Merit: 4
Meretrix Conceptions, Disincorporated
As I was initiated into a cryptic cult with rites of the goddess Hecate, the renowned paranormal researcher William Blake caught this photograph of Lauda shapeshifted to the form of a flying catbat:

Photo of LAUDA as a FLYING CATBAT
The witch LAUDA
Identified Flying Object (IFO)
(Better than a UFO.  Much better than an ICO.)


Is any more actual proof needed to sustain a charge of witchcraft? Shocked
I think I just got doxxed. Embarrassed

Doxt thou art!  By inner eye,
Dark spells now let me descry
Thine image, felid scourge of spammers,
Liars, trolls, and crypto-scammers.

   With pills, not tax, thy sockpuppet show
   Brings the poor in spirit to ends of woe.


Archival avatar for Lauda+Batsign=Catbat!
On the identification of a pseudonymous forum crimefighter!


Edit:  The forum is inexplicably making the cat image tiny, at least for my browser; and I am done messing with BBcode for now.  Sorry.
legendary
Activity: 2674
Merit: 2965
Terminated.
As I was initiated into a cryptic cult with rites of the goddess Hecate, the renowned paranormal researcher William Blake caught this photograph of Lauda shapeshifted to the form of a flying catbat:

Photo of LAUDA as a FLYING CATBAT
The witch LAUDA
Identified Flying Object (IFO)
(Better than a UFO.  Much better than an ICO.)


Is any more actual proof needed to sustain a charge of witchcraft? Shocked
I think I just got doxxed. Embarrassed

HELP!

LAUDA MUST BE STOPPED!

I could throw you a half-broken anchor chain if that might help. *evil witch grin*
legendary
Activity: 2268
Merit: 18711
You forgot:  Lauda is a tax evading sockpuppeting pill addict who turned you into a newt.  Even if you got better, you should not let the crime go unpunished!

Yes, a most horrendous case of Pleurodelinaemia, and one that required my years of knowledge to treat. Casting such a spell is clearly treason, and therefore I would argue for capital punishment.

Dr. o_e_l_e_o, a web search review of the literature makes it apparent that you have advanced the medical state of the art with your characterization and efficacious treatment of Pleurodelinaemia, as well as adding that word to the medical lexicon.  Now, I need your help!

Ahh yes. I had rather hoped to name my newly coined disease eponymously, but it is somewhat difficult to be both eponymous and anonymous. Shame.

Regardless, do look out for my full paper on Pleurodelinaemia being published in next month's copies of both The Lancelot and The Olde England Journal of Medicine. It will attributed to my pseudonym Dr Cerimon. It should be right between the articles entitled "Your Mother Was A Hamster: The Evidence for Animal-Human Hybrids in the Treatment of Inheritable Diseases" and "The Man Who Says 'Ni!': A Peculiar Case of Tourette's Syndrome".

However, as you are such a valued member of the forum, I will bestow upon you early access to my cure. Beware, it is neither quick nor easy, and is not without risk!

Quote from: Dr Cerimon
With apt hands, and constantly thinking black thoughts, it was ensured that the time was agreeable and no one else was watching. A random selection was made from a mixture of rank weeds and plants that had previously been collected at midnight. This selection was cursed a total of three (3) times, before being poured in to the patient's ears. Within 24 hours, the patient was noted to have "got better", with no evidence of the disease remaining.
copper member
Activity: 630
Merit: 2614
If you don’t do PGP, you don’t do crypto!
As I was initiated into a cryptic cult with rites of the goddess Hecate, the renowned paranormal researcher William Blake caught this photograph of Lauda shapeshifted to the form of a flying catbat:

Well, that’s nothing.  Lauda became angry at me when I failed to keep up a regular schedule of worshipping the devil and oppressing spammers and scammers poor, innocent denizens of the forum.  Now, it is difficult for me to type any posts at all.  Just look at me!  My fingers!

Loading photo of nullius as a newt...
nullius under Lauda’s spell
(Photo credit: Connor Long.)

On the bright side, I now have a voracious appetite for mosquito larvae.  Delicious!





You forgot:  Lauda is a tax evading sockpuppeting pill addict who turned you into a newt.  Even if you got better, you should not let the crime go unpunished!

Yes, a most horrendous case of Pleurodelinaemia, and one that required my years of knowledge to treat. Casting such a spell is clearly treason, and therefore I would argue for capital punishment.

Dr. o_e_l_e_o, a web search review of the literature makes it apparent that you have advanced the medical state of the art with your characterization and efficacious treatment of Pleurodelinaemia, as well as adding that word to the medical lexicon.  Now, I need your help!

HELP!

LAUDA MUST BE STOPPED!
copper member
Activity: 23
Merit: 4
Meretrix Conceptions, Disincorporated
As I was initiated into a cryptic cult with rites of the goddess Hecate, the renowned paranormal researcher William Blake caught this photograph of Lauda shapeshifted to the form of a flying catbat:

Photo of LAUDA as a FLYING CATBAT
The witch LAUDA
Identified Flying Object (IFO)
(Better than a UFO.  Much better than an ICO.)


Is any more actual proof needed to sustain a charge of witchcraft? Shocked
sr. member
Activity: 952
Merit: 284
In love with Bitcoin!! 💓💕
Do you really think that “sucking up” would work with Lauda?  You’d wind up with dripping-red distrust from her instead.  Either that, or she will turn you into a newt.  No, you won’t get better.
LOL, I can confirm that one. Around 2 months ago, I genuinely thanked her for making me aware of Segwit wallets. But she didn't like the flattery as it was done in her signature campaign thread! And now I am still struggling to get out of that SMAS list!! 😄
Embarrassed Guilty; hehe. I think I remember your name (I think). I'll get to it soonTM.
Of course you remember my name. You even replied my PM and said that my name is interesting!!😁
legendary
Activity: 2674
Merit: 2965
Terminated.
Do you really think that “sucking up” would work with Lauda?  You’d wind up with dripping-red distrust from her instead.  Either that, or she will turn you into a newt.  No, you won’t get better.
LOL, I can confirm that one. Around 2 months ago, I genuinely thanked her for making me aware of Segwit wallets. But she didn't like the flattery as it was done in her signature campaign thread! And now I am still struggling to get out of that SMAS list!! 😄
Embarrassed Guilty; hehe. I think I remember your name (I think). I'll get to it soonTM.
sr. member
Activity: 952
Merit: 284
In love with Bitcoin!! 💓💕
Do you really think that “sucking up” would work with Lauda?  You’d wind up with dripping-red distrust from her instead.  Either that, or she will turn you into a newt.  No, you won’t get better.

LOL, I can confirm that one. Around 2 months ago, I genuinely thanked her for making me aware of Segwit wallets. But she didn't like the flattery as it was done in her signature campaign thread! And now I am still struggling to get out of that SMAS list!! 😄
copper member
Activity: 434
Merit: 278
Offering Escrow 0.5 % fee
A witch in ancient history was a wise woman, also warlock is a wise man.
The archaic ceremony of burning witches were so dramatic and a lot of speculation arose.
like for example that a witch was actually a good person, hence fewer members of the cabal started accusing her of malignant doings.

Unfortunately it comes to a breaking point when such a reputable member start accusing a reputable member.

P.S Nullius I hope you don't get snap out of that compelling spell card.
legendary
Activity: 2674
Merit: 2965
Terminated.
I Almost pissed myself when i read the OP.  LMFAO what a great post.
It's well-written satire indeed.

I maybe an Alt but I can confirm that Lauda is indeed a WITCH. One day, power in my tiny house went off. I asked Mitchell to help me out and he forwarded me to Lauda because Mitchell's ability wasn't enough.

Lauda said that s/he could help me out and then told me to draw a dickbutt on the floor and pour a glass of rabbit's blood on that dickbutt. And voila! My power came back on. This was years ago though.

And this is a true story. Well, sort of.
Uh, oh. Embarrassed

full member
Activity: 322
Merit: 134
What
Is
This...
?
legendary
Activity: 3654
Merit: 8909
https://bpip.org
If you think that guy is me, then you are wrong. You have to admit he is funny.
newbie
Activity: 6
Merit: 1
I maybe an Alt but I can confirm that Lauda is indeed a WITCH. One day, power in my tiny house went off. I asked Mitchell to help me out and he forwarded me to Lauda because Mitchell's ability wasn't enough.

Lauda said that s/he could help me out and then told me to draw a dickbutt on the floor and pour a glass of rabbit's blood on that dickbutt. And voila! My power came back on. This was years ago though.

And this is a true story. Well, sort of.
hero member
Activity: 920
Merit: 1014
I Almost pissed myself when i read the OP.  LMFAO what a great post.
copper member
Activity: 630
Merit: 2614
If you don’t do PGP, you don’t do crypto!
Yet again excellent work Nullius..

a pleasure to read as always

Thanks.


Fetch a duck!

Indeed.  That duck-on-a-balance-scale is a suitable ordeal for assessing the guilt of the witch Lauda; for Monty Python’s standards of evidence exceed Quickseller’s non-standards of non-evidence.



Quote from: Whining red-tagged spammers and scammers
Help!  I’m bein’ oppressed—by LAUDA!



For my part, my favourite colour is redWell—maybe.  I won’t actually tell you, because I’m pseudonymous and that’s too personal—AAAAARRRGH!
legendary
Activity: 2268
Merit: 18711
Fetch a duck!
legendary
Activity: 1414
Merit: 1808
Exchange Bitcoin quickly-https://blockchain.com.do
Yet again excellent work Nullius..

a pleasure to read as always
copper member
Activity: 630
Merit: 2614
If you don’t do PGP, you don’t do crypto!
Photographic Evidence of Lauda’s WITCHCRAFT

Lauda taught me evil incantations for summoning daemons.  I use these daemons as servants for my computing.  Here is a daemon I call “Beastie”, who currently manages much computing machinery for me:




I would say a red flag would be if nullius started "monetizing" his position by engaging in increasingly large and risky trades or something to that effect.

I do intend to someday “monetize” my account—because I like to eat, too.  My ideal plan is to build a reputation for technical prowess, then offer paid privacy and security services to complement my open-source offerings.  If that doesn’t work out, then I may someday get a signature ad from one of the more reputable campaigns which only allow high ranks, kick back, and spend time answering technical questions.

My nefarious plan is revealed!  What a “long con”.

Other than that, being hyperactive on an internet forum doesn't have to mean something nefarious.

I often do 24–36 hour posting marathons, for the purpose of helping conceal my time zone.  Otherwise, I just shift around and jet-lag my sleep schedule.


So you're saying nullius is running a long con and should be preemptively burned at the stake.

Well, my long con does involve daemons.

Now, could we please stop talking about me?  The important issue is that Lauda is a witch!
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