Topic: merit game... 50 merit to the most entertaining poster.. - page 5. (Read 3266 times)
There's a boy who loves to eat eggs. His parents worried about that, so they tried their best to make him bored with eggs but it still did not work. One day, his parents put a piece of rubber on his omelette with hope that he could not swallow it. Nevertheless, the boy managed to swallow as fast as he could and he then ran out to the coop and grabbed the neck of the cock and shouted: - Next time I forbid you from using condoms, understand?! !
Tman.... Close this thread. It's me ChrisBin702..... From the future. I came back in time to save the heartache caused by all the people that thought they had a chance. ANNOUNCEMENT!! I have already won this game on 5/7/2018 and Tman has donned me with 50 merits as he promised. Kudos for keeping your word by the way. All you other fools with your terrible jokes, sorry, but I came in from left field with an anecdote so hilarious that Tman closed this thread and gave me the spoils. Thanks again. Time to head back to my time to enjoy my 50 merits closer to ranking up. I feel like a hero. I should be a damned hero.
I do not care if what many people think ... at least mosquitos find me attractive.
Guys that only like girls with long hair don't count their leg hair.
Guys that only like girls with long hair don't count their leg hair.
Man to very beautiful
air hostess: "What's your name?"
Air hostess: "Eva Benz"
Man: "Lovely name...
Any relation to Mercedes Benz?"
Air hostess: (Smiling) Maintenance cost is same
air hostess: "What's your name?"
Air hostess: "Eva Benz"
Man: "Lovely name...
Any relation to Mercedes Benz?"
Air hostess: (Smiling) Maintenance cost is same
A blind man walks by a fish market , tips his hat and says "hello ladies"
An ugly fat lady walking with her dog, when a man came and said :
"What an ugly pig"
The lady said : "Lol. It's not pig, it's a dog!"
The man said : "No. I'm talking to your dog." 😂
"What an ugly pig"
The lady said : "Lol. It's not pig, it's a dog!"
The man said : "No. I'm talking to your dog." 😂
sr. member
Activity: 375
Merit: 1021
Just in case no one loves you, I love you 3000.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
Lebron James Hair:
Sorry guys forgot about this..
some of these amusing ones now have merit..
some of these amusing ones now have merit..
Teacher : Okay, we will be having a speed spelling test, John you go first. Spell the word AMBULANCE!
John : A..... M..... aaah B..... aaah U
.....
Teacher : Faster John! Faster!
John: Weee Wooo Weee Wooo Weee Wooo 😂😂😂
John : A..... M..... aaah B..... aaah U
.....
Teacher : Faster John! Faster!
John: Weee Wooo Weee Wooo Weee Wooo 😂😂😂
One man is trying to persuade a farmer to buy his bicycle for convenience.
However, convincing is not easy. The farmer shook his head:
- I also want a bike, but I have to spend money for buy a cow. Anyway, I can ride it for a walk.
The salesman smiled.
- I think that is not a good idea. He would be foolish to ride that cow on the promenade.
The farmer shrugs:
- At least it is not silly when people see me hugging a bike right ?!
However, convincing is not easy. The farmer shook his head:
- I also want a bike, but I have to spend money for buy a cow. Anyway, I can ride it for a walk.
The salesman smiled.
- I think that is not a good idea. He would be foolish to ride that cow on the promenade.
The farmer shrugs:
- At least it is not silly when people see me hugging a bike right ?!
A newly married Alan goes to the meet Father George.
He greets the priest and says, 'Father, I need to talk to you.'
The Priest asks, 'Is it a confession, my son?'
Alan replies, 'No, Father! I need to clarify something.'
The Priest takes Alan to his private chamber and says, 'Tell me, Alan. What is it?'
Alan asks, 'Father, why do the kindest of girls begin their quest to change men after marriage?'
The Priest smiles and replied, 'Alan, my son; as the bride walks down the long aisle, her brain registers 3 stimulii. The altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung. Aisle, altar, and hymn. She becomes mesmerized. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. And finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself I'LL ALTER HIM.'
He greets the priest and says, 'Father, I need to talk to you.'
The Priest asks, 'Is it a confession, my son?'
Alan replies, 'No, Father! I need to clarify something.'
The Priest takes Alan to his private chamber and says, 'Tell me, Alan. What is it?'
Alan asks, 'Father, why do the kindest of girls begin their quest to change men after marriage?'
The Priest smiles and replied, 'Alan, my son; as the bride walks down the long aisle, her brain registers 3 stimulii. The altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung. Aisle, altar, and hymn. She becomes mesmerized. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. And finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself I'LL ALTER HIM.'
so you need to make me laugh.. you can be a new account or a legendary I don't care. This place needs more humor
if you are a 3rd world shitposter I will not merit you
if most of your posts are in a language other than English then this isn't for you
if you call me Sir this isn't for you
I am posting this here as I have searched about and not found many merit worthy posts from people I do not know - so giving some people an opportunity to level up.
lets run this till Sunday, if no one really makes me laugh then I may just spread out 10-30 merits to amusing posters.
anyone begging for merit will be blocked and DT members notified, anyone sending me unsolicited PM's will also be blocked.
GL all
if you are a 3rd world shitposter I will not merit you
if most of your posts are in a language other than English then this isn't for you
if you call me Sir this isn't for you
I am posting this here as I have searched about and not found many merit worthy posts from people I do not know - so giving some people an opportunity to level up.
lets run this till Sunday, if no one really makes me laugh then I may just spread out 10-30 merits to amusing posters.
anyone begging for merit will be blocked and DT members notified, anyone sending me unsolicited PM's will also be blocked.
GL all
It's still Sunday so I'll give it a shot. And if it doesn't get me some merit I will probably make someone laugh.
Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.
I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”
He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”
Ba dum tss
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice!
Son:No!
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter
Son: Then Ok!
dad goes to bill gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No!
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world Bank!
Bill Gates: then ok
dad goes to the President of world bank
Dad: appoint my son as CEO
President: No!
Dad: My son is the Son-in-law of bill gates
President: then ok!
THIS IS BUSINESS!
Son:No!
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter
Son: Then Ok!
dad goes to bill gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No!
Dad: My son is the CEO of the world Bank!
Bill Gates: then ok
dad goes to the President of world bank
Dad: appoint my son as CEO
President: No!
Dad: My son is the Son-in-law of bill gates
President: then ok!
THIS IS BUSINESS!
Tman when are you going to distribute the merit. this contest was supposed to end over a week ago
When Chuck Norris masturbates, a random virgin gets pregnant on a random country. Doesn't matter if the person is male or female.
The day Chuck Norris was born Alexander The Great changed his name to Alexander The Average
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Donald Trump voted for Chuck Norris.
Nudes send Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can actually pause an online game.
Chuck Norris completed Pokemon go... On a house phone
Chuck Norris' email is [email protected]
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
The day Chuck Norris was born Alexander The Great changed his name to Alexander The Average
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Donald Trump voted for Chuck Norris.
Nudes send Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can actually pause an online game.
Chuck Norris completed Pokemon go... On a house phone
Chuck Norris' email is [email protected]
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me
This place needs more humor
I agree, watch this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGOVLVcfjNs
don't send me merit for this.
-snip-
Wouldn't miss this opportunity to say SIR TMAN thank you SIR for this great topic and for helping us to level up SIR.
I think SIR that you need to check plagiarism and Google images SIR. I hope i pissed you off SIR with this SIR thing (wonder know why they keep repeating it over and over btw
kind of human downgrading..)A little bit serious, i don't give a x about merit but you are doing it the wrong way brah
(r/ANormalDayInRussia) -snip-
While we will not be directly moderating this, I encourage people to give merit to posts that are objectively high-quality, not just posts that you agree with.
Better to open a topic asking people to put their useful HQ posts there, it works better and could help a lot of serious members. Of course, since it is not moderated you can do whatever you want but at least decrease the reward.While we will not be directly moderating this, I encourage people to give merit to posts that are objectively high-quality, not just posts that you agree with.
This is my opinion TMAN
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