If I upgrade my NEM wallet will that interfere with my redemption as I am part of Phase NXT AE... I sent in my private key and address from the old version.
Also, is there a way to see my "real" NEM address if I have the private key?
You sent in your private key to where? Did you read the instructions at all? The private key generated from the old wallet has nothing to do with the new Beta NEM wallet.
Understand that if you have a set of keys to a new house, you keep them in a safe place. When the new house is completed, you can then use the key.
Until then you can shift to as many temporary houses as you want. It will not affect the key you have been keeping because that is the key that you will be finally using when your new house is completed.
The temporary houses are all the NEM BETA or Alpha wallets. The key generated is for the new wallet (i.e., the new house) that is to be used at launch and is not ready for download yet.
If you sent your private key to somewhere, it means you have given the key to someone to occupy your new house. The public key is your address to your new house so that the courier (i.e., Pat) can deliver the coins to that house when it is ready. You use the private key to open that house and you will find the coins in there.
I actually do not understand why this is all so difficult to understand. It beats me really.