Topic: Parents need to bring back the belt! - page 3. (Read 6195 times)

Correct. The violence could easily be a kind of communication, with a lack of alternatives like a developed language. It probably takes another year or two for him to be able to develop social skills. That is a task for his parents of course, not yours.

my solution, is to not allow my kid to play with his uncle (it not like they play with each other anyway, they just play with their own toys in the same room). And I'll start going to my moms house on weekend, my sister has kids a 2 and 5 year old, they play gr8 with my son, i don't have to worry when I'm over their, its a little further out... but wtv.

I guess this could work, if the other kid wasn't so much bigger...
But I feel it would just turn into a fight (one my son wouldn't win lol), and what you expect everyone to just watch a 2 and 4 year old fight it out?
not sure about this...

Ever wonder why the other kid hits?

Because he's never met any resistance. FWIW, I stand behind your decision to hit back in place of your kid, but I would wager that even your son standing up to the little bully in training would work a lot better, especially since you're not going to be there to stop him every time.

oh yes, lets encourage the two kids fight!

Smart!

Including in defense, huh? Well, If you raise a doormat, stop complaining when he gets stepped on.

hes 2, he doesn't hit, and we would like for it to stay that way.

Is that all animals, or only the "handy-capable" ones?

Hurting animals is wrong and immoral you sick bastard!

You left off an important demographic:

I think we should be allowed to use violences against women and old people as well 

I'm not fond of the principle of corporal punishment, but I've seen children push their parents past their limits so I can understand it happening on occasions and I even had to use myself one time.

There are parents not knowing how to exert authority: the tone used to speak and the way you look at a child is essential. If you want to express a limit there must be no hesitation, a sharpness in the voice and not the first hint of a smile. We automatically smile to children it's not easy to completely stop this reflex when one of the first thing they learn is how to behave to make you smile. Speaking sharply isn't the way you usually speak with people and many people can't bring themselves to speak that way to a misbehaving child.
Not being able to express limits in a convincing way obviously leads to children ignoring you and the last resort is then corporal punishment. It often isn't effective with a child as the only viable punishment is the one which comes right away not delayed in any way so that unruly behavior is associated with bad consequences.

I'm taller than most, have a deep voice and am used to be in a position to make decisions for others to follow even if they don't like it (and assume the consequences if I'm wrong, part of the job...). So most of the time I've no problem with unruly children: from my behavior they instinctively know that they shouldn't mess with me.

From my experience if you absolutely can't find a way out of using corporal punishment on a child first make sure that the parents are OK with it if you are not one of them and second that you are established as an authority figure. Then I'd advise to make it swift, sharp and the least painful you can. Using a tool isn't a very good idea: the child sees the tool and has the time to focuses on its fear of it instead of the problem at hand. You can inflict more pain than you intend too. Using the flat of your hand so that you get an approximation of the child's pain seems safer. Let the punishment surprise the child but without lasting pain: one quick slap should be enough. Then explain to the child right away that you don't like to do it but that it didn't leave you any other way to stop the misbehaving. Ask if why the punishment was received is understood and tell that everything is OK in that case as you won't have to do it again if the lesson is learned. You should make it clear that there's an easy way to avoid it in the future and that you can be trusted not doing it without reason.

Worked for me with a small nephew that tested my limits, still does test them on occasions (that's part of a normal education) but now knows when to stop and doesn't like me less for one single slap.
That's only my experience with one unruly child, each child is different. I think that if I couldn't find a way to educate one without regularly resorting to corporal punishment I'd find help to better understand why the child doesn't react well to my methods.

In my opinion corporal punishment is completely out of the question if you can't communicate properly with the child so probably not before around 2-3 years old. Using it with teenagers is a recipe for disaster so you better find a better education method before...

You don't mention your son's age, but have you considered teaching him that when someone hits you, it's OK to hit back?

Some of us like to call that "self defense."

I'm one of the few here who got to meet the Board of Correction--TWICE!



In Woodshop 101, the two favorite items built as a first project were gun racks and paddles, respectively. The bright students drilled holes in their paddles, knowing intuitively there's less resistance during the down stroke, and thus earning a higher grade.

At the time (mid 70's), the principle conducted an annual competition. The best (not sure how that was determined) paddle would be the one used during the upcoming school year. In '78, the year I graduated, the winning entry met the ass of its maker for...wait for it...hitting a girl. Though not part of the conversation, I recall overhearing the student joking about the paddling while holding court with his fellow heathens during lunch hour.

~Bruno K~

So teaching kids violence at an early age makes
them more disciplined?

There was always the belt in our country, the
Philippines. i dont see an improvement.

it depends on whether they get it or not.

Don't get me started on the Judge Adam Williams case that happened more recently, I've seen plenty of disturbing stuff on the internet but that was the one video I couldn't watch for longer than five seconds because it was a video of a genuinely helpless disabled child getting beaten up ( Not disciplined as people claim ) by her father and it's situations like this where I can only think that the people who actually support using violence against children are nothing more than psychopaths who thirst for violence and control.

The problem with corporal punishment is that good parents can use it or not, and their kids will grow up well adjusted and fine.
Place corporal punishment into the hands of bad parents and it just leads to abuse.
I don't think corporal punishment is necessarily a bad thing in the hands of good parents, but they are the very parents who really don't need it.
The children of bad parents need to be protected from their incompetent parents.

This is what bad parenting can lead to - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Victoria_Climbi%C3%A9

She didn't have the chance to say 'I was slapped as a child and it never did me any harm'

What I do is calmly look over at them and say "this is your final warning. If you want to get it when we get home keep it up."......sure enough they get the hint and behave. Sometimes they mess up and because there isn't much cursing or yelling, the pure anticipation of getting disciplined is enough to get my kids to behave.

Going on with this topic, I challenge any current parents who have children to install a lock on their childrens' bedrooms that only the child can lock and give them the only key, take a note of how many times they use it because I bet this will be a fantastic indicator on when to leave them the hell alone too, I bet you some parents will notice that the children would use it constantly especially if they think it's okay to beat them or control their lives constantly.