Topic: Placing value in the family (Read 629 times)

You are absolutely right some times things will be very hard in the family where your parents can't provide enough in the family, in such situation my point there's  by  assist them, by supporting them financially, making
effort for your siblings school fees is also a good value to the the family making them proud, respect also matters.

Parenting is not an easy thing that's why we should be mature not only financially but in mind and character before getting into marriage, marriages are suffering so much because of the misunderstanding between th partners.
With what I have seen I think aan should make money because even though a woman has money she sees it as her own no matter what a man say nothing will be taken seriously unless his contribution in the family is more, men suffers more in the family, the men has been subjected to ridicule because of the fact that they are believed to be the head of family and they are expected to provide more than anyone in the family.

Money mata for this life. It always bring respect to you. Even as husband if you no get money na wahala as your wife no go give you the kind respect wey you deserve. I've you ever observed that na home where husband dey provide money Wella, na en wife dey call good names like honey, sweetie etc. So money mata no be small.

Yes oo my brother to an extend respect are earn ooo not because of age but by how much responsibility you are able to carry, I get this gist way op dey talk about it mostly happen in all families where their children don dey hustle dey bring money, in place it is always said that it is the person that has money is the eldest one it can be funny but that is what happening but is so bad because at point there be no equal love to be share among siblings and parents.

I go just say many of us here get luck onto say them never leave their family go mingle with other people to understand how life be over people wey no get anyone of those people or say the head of the family no come dey there again, e dey really worry because things wey be say old man supposed work the house na either you or another person go work am. Like this now, the person wey dey always show face for the family naim wey mother dey always value pass e no means say she no love others ohh but based on how e be say na person wey put drink for table naim be oga.
Na so this family matter be and since then till now I still dey picture out more things concerning people wey dey around me or wey me dey observed.

My brother, this matter na very serious matter and I really be victims but not really from the negative angle as I been loss my papa since 2016, my mama no gree give us space as she been Dey feel like she fit carry the whole load by herself and remember my family and a family of about 7 children plus my brother wife making us 8 as well as my two cousins wey been Dey with us and my mama no been really want make we do anything or even leave the family to go hustle as she been no want make we go suffer believing say, if my papa been Dey alive, we for no suffer, hence, she no been want make we just do anything by ourselves .

I also understand the fact say most parents and family Dey mount pressure on their children and personally I no think say, that na better idea as those unnecessary pressure fit even lead them astray if them no channel am to positive energy.

Broda na so E be ooh, make we talk truth, if you no get money and you don reach the age wey be say you suppose Dey provide for family and you no get job or anything wey Dey bring something come family, my brother you no get value, that thing Dey happen now for Nigeria very well, I never experience that thing ooh but I don see am with my eyes before, the family no get money and the bread winner of the house don graduate and he never get work and the second child go school go learn yahoo and be bringing better things come house and make their parents proud of him, e never reach two days the parents don start to Dey love the second child pass the first one because he no get money.

Imagine that kind thing fit scatter family and that is why we said money is the root of evil, money fit change people wey love you to deny you and money fit make people wey no love you to love you more than before, most of our parents wey Dey do that kind thing them no Dey think because no matter how is it, your child is still your child but once one of the children don make am them go love am pass the remaining one, the only thing to solve the issue be say make everybody go hustle.

I get big experience for this talk. the truth be say me personally I never experience am for my family based on say I beast born and my elder ones dey try their best for the house, I no too get responsibility wey I dey carry.

I get person wey I know him dey face alot based on the over expectation wey dey em head before so him no come later do well as them expect am for the family, committing suicide na just one of the little things wey me personally do talk am out of, if not i guess by now him for don go. The high hope wey parents dey put for them children, based on say them no make am to the level wey them want so them dey push the children to reach where Dem no reach and such come dey put pressure for young people body, if you no come dey meet up with their selfish expectation you are in a big trouble because the abuse and disrespect can lead to some thing else.

make people dey try reason with person wey things never set for him side, instead of disrespecting them. the person wey i dey talk about here na guy wey be say all him life dem don look am as the best for the family but to the greatest surprises of everyone the guy never make any useful something for himself the pressure of life dey hit am so much.
but at least I dey him back to put am to the right way even if people don leave am I believe say him still get star.

Make una wey be young parents or single men and woman for this forum learn to make una self up not to push una children to help una complete the life wey una no fit give una self, it frustrating to see such thing. na over expectation dey cause all this thing and na y I say make everybody no dey expect help or any thing from any body because life is dynamic and ever changing at the same time. no be weytin u dey expect go happen because you no be God. 

That is human being for us. You will be appreciated more if you have money but most times the poor are not recognized in the society. We should just learn to be ourself no matter the pressure the family put on us. Let's just remain hardworking and never stay far from right information, one day we will surely be there. Our success is at the corner and very close to us.

las las family na important part wey dey hold us together. E dey give us foundation make we fit stand gidigba for face of wahala. E dey help us make better choice for life, guide us raise pikin well, and protect us from bad influence. Family na where we fit find love and support, and e dey give our life meaning. Na so we fit know who we be and wetin we believe in. Strong family values na wetin dey make person, e dey shape our character and life in general.

Make people no dey allow how family members treat us when we have nothing,  because if we allow ahm to disturb our peace of mind e fit break us down. This is always the attitude of family members and we should learn to get used to this and make we also understand too if we no get money today e no mean say money no go dey tomorrow.  Life na journey and everything no go remain the same for ever, na from step by step everything go dey okay.

Family is certainly an important factor. Some people have the family support in the world, but they don't have access to the resources or opportunities they need to be successful and others vice versa. Remember the common saying that " a good name is better than riches" so for me I think it's very important to value your family more than wealth because when e red for you now, na them go still come for you, dey go they der for you in terms of hard times, they go dey support you in different way. Although no be all family members be better people o but in despite of anything family na still family.

I think you are getting everything wrong. Before you respond to a post make sure you really understand what the post is talking about before responding. Your post is really off topic and it's not good. As a newbie I understand it's difficult, but you should first read and understand what a post is talking about before you respond and if you don't understand, it's not necessary to respond to all posts you see in the forum. It's better to keep quiet than to talk off topic as it's is not healthy.

That's why everyone needs to hustle to bring something to the table, last year I bought a phone for my mother and gave her and my dad money too, do you kno that amount of money I gave them is still trending in the family till this moment though the money was a little bit much to them but I never expected such happiness from my mum, she blessed me and I was very happy to have given my parents for the very first time, from that day my hustling mindset changed though it is not easy but what can I do.

I want to state it categorically as a man, make sure you are bringing something to the family because if you are not, you won't be that relevant and even when situation arises you won't be considered as an option.

Hey did you really comprehend my post correctly??
I dey talk say our parents dey give pass to our younger ones dem wey dey bring money pass  you for house that one kon make dem feel like say dem be number one for house onto say anything dem talk wey go happened instead of you the first son or daughter to give command first the last wey be ur small brother don pass order make dem do something and, at this point your mama go dey think say anything wey that one do dey right on her eyes without knowing say as you no dey bring. But if you kon start to dey bring now how you go feel am or how your mama go feel?
Please next time read information very well before commenting so dat dem no go report your post.

As Dem dey always yan say life no balance na dis kind matter now you go really see say truly life get K leg, this kind of issue don damage many home were wisdom is not apply and bring disowned of father and children, the issue on ground happened always, just painful where the junior one who get opportunity fail to use wisdom even correct parents when the love done exceeded limit and is bringing division.

Most of d mata dey always come from parents wey no dey reason say no be the fort of the one way opportunity never hit, because some kid of reference and praise den go they give the small one way dey resourceful fit curse division .

Parents wey no dey balance the situation fit raise the wing of the small one to boast and be proud wey go damage his life as many envy fit come out from his elderly once.

As for me I did not have such experience because my people is not the money type who love their children base on money they render to the family if not my younger once are still more resourceful than me but the place of  me as there elder brother have not be infringe by any despite their contribution financially.

I pray make nobody experience waiting Op dey talk for life because na big embarrassment. You reach the level wey be say your parents go ask you to bring something to the table, yet you no fit provide anything everybody go dey look down on you, even your junior ones. Nobody go dey happy say their parents dey suffer and they no fit support the family, but some parents no dey understand. If you no fit provide anything, e dey reach one level wey be say na your junior brother or sister dey provide, na you wey be the elder go dey run an errands because you no go get value, insult go dey drop everywhere. Person no dey even get peace of mind, if you ask for your food they will be like say na waiting yu sabi be that just to chop, you don't know how they buy the food.

Anytime wey be say bad things happen they can even use you to search as an example. For this life make we try work hard and make money to avoid see finish because na when money no dey all this they happen, if not how can a third child become the parent first choice just because he/she get money? This matter don make many of our youths to do bad thing for life because they no fit continue with the insult again.

That is life for you, this thing is not just happening only in the family but even outside from the home one comes from. Money brings respect,  when you don't have money it is difficult for people to give the kind of respect you want. The worse thing that can ever happen to man in life is to remain poor. When you are broke and make a suggestion to people they won't listen to uou or accept it because you don't have  money to show their is value.

Most times we do misunderstand these things. I dont think the value of the person will reduce because he do not have money. It is because he or she is ignorant to take care of responsibilities as an elder one and be responsible. You can expect an elder brother that loves smoking, gambling, drinking amd womanising to be responsible or take responsibilities into hand. Money doesnt solve all problems. This is because i have seen families with someone who has wealth but they are having issues in the family. I believe each member has its own importance in the family from good advice, peace maker, one who dont take bullshit and the financial supporting one.

One who dont accept to place importance in his family is just his decision. You cant say its because he is poor so he cant support the family.

To some extent it may not be something to generalize, some households could be very different from such practices but most times it happens. We are humans and we tend to pick interest on where benefits us. I also don't believe they get thrown and forgetting, our season may be quite different so we should understand and less every pressure.