Placing value in the family - page 2.

Dailyscript

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Quote from: Claudeake on March 04, 2024, 06:28:21 PM

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

Most times we do misunderstand these things. I dont think the value of the person will reduce because he do not have money. It is because he or she is ignorant to take care of responsibilities as an elder one and be responsible. You can expect an elder brother that loves smoking, gambling, drinking amd womanising to be responsible or take responsibilities into hand. Money doesnt solve all problems. This is because i have seen families with someone who has wealth but they are having issues in the family. I believe each member has its own importance in the family from good advice, peace maker, one who dont take bullshit and the financial supporting one.

One who dont accept to place importance in his family is just his decision. You cant say its because he is poor so he cant support the family.

Obim34

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Quote from: Claudeake on March 04, 2024, 06:28:21 PM

Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

To some extent it may not be something to generalize, some households could be very different from such practices but most times it happens. We are humans and we tend to pick interest on where benefits us. I also don't believe they get thrown and forgetting, our season may be quite different so we should understand and less every pressure.

laijsica

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Quote from: SmartGold01 on July 11, 2023, 10:04:13 AM

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?

When parents get old, it seems to be a extra for everyone, but it's not fair, if we live we will also be old one day, this must be remembered. Our parents work hard to raise us. After getting marriage we are separated from parents and all others family members. So I want to say we should not leave our family members. Another openion.. From now we need to take initiative activities for DCA method, If we savings a extra money it will be a great support for our future and we will not dependent to any others.

Claudeake

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Well, some tin like this dey always happen in every family. If any of the pikin no come get money, in value go come down pass in younger ones we get money. The parents go dey Sabi the ones wey dey bring money for Dem every time for house.
But if the one wey no get the money continue like dis for many years, in value go cocoma die finish and in parents go throw way yam. Even though in get money later sef, in parents no go Sabi yam again.

Barikui1

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Chai, as I see this particular post now, e just be like say make I cry, because na the exact tin I experience when I been dy stay with my parents, which was in 2015, the worst year of my life.

During that time wey I just finish school, I no get work, my elder brother, and my two siblings Dem been all they work, all of dem dey assist the house with feeding money every month ending, but my own side, nothing come out because I no dy work, and I never still see work after graduation.

Every day was like hell to me, because before them go give me food, them go use talk finish the food for my belle first, before I go even eat am, them come even dy give my sister respect for the house pass me, but the one wey force me out of the house na the one wey my old girl tell me to go wash plate when my youngest sister dy around, when I confront her, she tell me say I no dy contribute anything for the house, say na my only contribution be that.

That day I use vexation use park all my things comot go stay with my friends, though my father come later beg me for that thing wey happen, and tell me to come back house, but I don already zero my mind, I say e better make I dy hungry and get peace of mind than to dy collect this kind insult everyday, I stay there till I get work, and I come later rent my own apartment till dis day.

As I see this post now e just reminded me of my own story in the past, and if we see the way me and my parents dy use relate now, and how Dem no dy carry me play, you go think say something like that no ever happen, but such is life. In such situation the best you can do for urself na to just stay strong because e no easy I swr.

Benedictare

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This matter wey OP drop don be tradition for our country,i believe say most of us wey dey this platform form dey experience am either you be the bread winner or rejected stone for the family, my friend wey dey wan commit suicide,no do am because na sin for God hand ,no worry him go do am for you , because him know when him go give you money ,just bear ,for this period,if you watch well God dey teach you something and dey remodify you so that wen the money come you go know how to use am.

Na so dis matter also be for marriage to if you no quick marry na problem.
When i dey school one of my lecturer na first daughter,her parents say all her younger ones don marry finish wetin she dey wait for any man wey come her way make she marry, na so dem frustrate her say weda na book she go live her life with(PhD holder oo)wen the any man come she marry man wey no fit pay her bride price ,na she sponsor her marriage do everything,give the man money to pay her bride price because him no get work and no be graduate sef,after marriage, she open shop for am no way ,buy motor to do taxi no,him go just sit down for house,she go go work, come back do house work him still dey complain anyhow say the woman dey take am do boyboy for house lastlast him still leave the woman .

Zackz5000

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Naturally no piken go feel happy say e no dey ever contribute for family needs me sometime I go just dey vex for my self say I no dey fit dey add value for family unto say my parents don suffer for my head train me for University I graduate still come dey feed under them with out contributing anything.
As time dey go I come dey notice say the way my parents dey do for me before when I still dey school how them dey treat me when ever I come bck home because that time them place me for high value no meeting they no dey involve me I no come dey see those things again after a year from NYSC. Only me come understand say na poverty dey cause this one, say if I get money some insult no go dey occur because no be small insult I receive but e motivated me to work harder and things started changing for good as I dey talk now my value don high for the family the respect don dey cos me dey deliver back to back.
All most very household family for naija still dey experience this thing till tomorrow.

sokani

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Dis topic dey nice and na wetin dey happen for most of our families. E go dey very bad say afta your parent don try raise you up or you don grow up to a certain level you no fit bring anything on di table, because at some point dem no go dey regard you, not just your parents but your siblings too. E get tori wey I hear about a family wey dier fada die, di first son dey far far north and im no dey financially bouyant, so dem just hold meeting com bury dier papa. Afta burial dem come call di guy man dey tell am wetin happen, di guy com dey para say why dem go bury dier papa without im knowledge and presence... Dem com let di guy kno say na because nothing com out for him side, dat even di transport fee na dem go pay for am to and fro, so dem don reason am com decide to add di money for di burial expenses. So make una reason dat kind thing.

I no say all fingers no dey equal and di fact say e stew for you first no mean say e no go stew for anoda person. Dis na wetin most of our parents and siblings dey fail to understand, life is in circles and your own turn go come. But still on still e no mean say make person fold im arms dey look ceiling say im dey wait for God's time, one needs to go out there and do a legit hustle, no mata how small, appreciate your little beginning and trust God for beta things.

Agbe

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Dat is where responsible parentshood go come play. How di parents take prepare di children for di future challenges also means a lot. Though their destiny e dey their hands but di parents go set the pace or path for dem. But whereby the parents has done theirs and u come failed, na there di disrespect go come and him or her e no go get di respect in di family again. And dis thing many of e don see am for their families so experience is the best man to know all dis kind things.
As odas don tok am even as that though you don't have anything to offer to them but ur character towards dem go tell dem saw you be good person in di family. Do di right thing at right time shun evil. Be a good person in the society with day value will be restored back to you again. always think what you can do to support yourself and the family. There are lot of things you can do to support yourself and the family.

CryptoHeadlineNews

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Quote from: Noson on August 09, 2023, 02:10:40 AM

To solve the matter na 2-way approach:

Firstly: Parents need to LOVE their kids equally without making anyone look irrelevant because of their current financial status. Parents need to understand say favouritism dey breed hatred and disunity. And e no go make sense say na parents go dey promote disunity amongst their own kids. That will be so bad.

Secondly: As a guy man or babe, I go like advice say make we find something genuine to do. No wait make that big breakthrough land. Them say na small drops dey form ocean. Abi?... Today your small drop fit be POS shop, Simcard shop, Snacks joint, Akara joint... As long as e dey fit buy your soap and soap for your family, as long as e dey buy small garr for you and your parents or your own family and as long as you dey fit save part of the money, ONE DAY THINGS GO SOFT FOR YOU! Because, na who enter bush dey see bushmeat catch.

This na better truth you just sama for here my friend, because without doing all what you said as shown above, both parents and youth will be doing themselves more harm than good, that is, when the parents fails to unit the family due to their selfish gain, it scatters the family at end, and likewise, when a youth depends too much I getting a white collar job that is never forth coming, such individual end up wasting his time and grow old, and yet haven't got a single achievement, which makes him or her lose respect for himself. Because if there is one thing the hardship in this country thought us, is the ability to be able to hustle in any condition and yet still survive.

Best-mary

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No be lie. E dey happen for every family. Now the worst part be say country con hard. Imagine the kind trauma most of them go pass through just because say money no dey hand.

Na man dey suffer this thing pass. The insult they always come as premium

Noson

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Wow!

This topic make sense die and na real matter wey dey play for our African families normally.

Wetin dey cause this matter na economic hardship thereby promoting bitterness and envy. But the truth be say, everything boils down to MINDSET. Because, favouritism doesn't only thrive in families where poverty dwells. Favouritism no respect family background. Favouritism dey play for rich homes too.

To solve the matter na 2-way approach:

Firstly: Parents need to LOVE their kids equally without making anyone look irrelevant because of their current financial status. Parents need to understand say favouritism dey breed hatred and disunity. And e no go make sense say na parents go dey promote disunity amongst their own kids. That will be so bad.

Secondly: As a guy man or babe, I go like advice say make we find something genuine to do. No wait make that big breakthrough land. Them say na small drops dey form ocean. Abi?... Today your small drop fit be POS shop, Simcard shop, Snacks joint, Akara joint... As long as e dey fit buy your soap and soap for your family, as long as e dey buy small garr for you and your parents or your own family and as long as you dey fit save part of the money, ONE DAY THINGS GO SOFT FOR YOU! Because, na who enter bush dey see bushmeat catch.

Liliana1304

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At the end of the day, nah who get moni dem dey call boss. Dis mata Op bring na somtin wey don dey happen sins time immemorial and if I no dey mistaken, most times, nah the mama dey cos d discomfort of the individual. E good as mature boy or girl to get somtin to do o, even tho you still dey ya parents house because that way you go fit dey contribute for one or two things.

Nah for naija wey pesin don pass 20 and e still dey him parents house, for the western parts, once you reach 18, you don Japa because anything wey still keep you, you go begin pay rent. Bit that's by the way.
For my case, wen e bin red for me, nah confam shege I see cause as I no dey bring, anything I wan take e go dey measured for me, I no fit get peace of mind as somtin wey I go do without any intent towards the pesin wey dey bring moni for house, Dem go say I wan kill the good luck wey dem don get..

I just feel say the earlier we come to terms with the fact say nah who get pipo dey like appreciate, we go get rest because if we no understand, we fit go do pass ourselves and fit end up failing.
Most of us be potential parents and to stop these things from happening nah to correct those wrongs wey our parents do by putting aside favouritism and accept all of them as them dey.

uchegod-21

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Quote from: SmartGold01 on July 11, 2023, 10:04:13 AM

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

Dis na serious matter wey some families for we country dey face. Wetin I get to talk for this matter be say, make we no too reason this particular matter because if person begin think about how him family don comot right from him hand give him other brodas and sistas wey dey too well, the person fit sick or go through wetin oyibo people dey call 'depression' and dis depression na very bad thing.

My people, if you know say your hand no too strong for the family, no just do asive nothing concern you for the family. Because if you commot body from family issues because say you no get money, people go see you as person wey no dey useful. Yes na, you dey useless for the family. Even if say money no dey, make your presence, ideas, strength and physical effort prove say you dey think better for the family.

Smartvirus

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As bad as e sound, e dey happen and even when some people realize say, them don dey cast for society and their families via say, them no dey meet up themselves to represent watin them suppose be or the value way suppose follow there positioning for birth, them just find themselves helpless on the situation and succumb to the situation.

Na the life most dey live inside. Still, you gats understand say, seniority no mean maturity and e no still mean say, you gats get pass your younger ones. All na your own thinking and the way you carry dey your pass from time make way for pure.

At least if you no too get, make you get enough to dey okay and put body for watin dey go on for family. Na the only way you fit keep your regard even when your junior onces don get pass you. In fact cef, e go be thingbof joy and a load taken off you when them dey do well.
Make you kwa get chance to do well and improve yourself. No let yourself down, e cast!

RahimNda

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Let me cheep in small tin onto u be last born for
The family as far as u get money everyone will
Respect u for house even family meeting they will
Wait for you onto every way for the family matter

Adams0001

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Quote from: SmartGold01 on July 11, 2023, 10:04:13 AM

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

No be say because God done bless you, your Mama or papa no go still give respect to your sisters or lose value to them, he no mean say because you dey help the family provide things for house go stop them giving the rest special respect, but some parents know go reason am like that, dey go stop dey listing to the rest, if dey are talking because dey will say you don't have money dey will change allot, but some family know mean say because you done get money pass the rest For house dey know go talk to you, when you do something wrong.he know make sense because you done get pass your sis or bro your parents go change him character. Parents were know waiting dey are doing dey will reduce the relationship where dey before, When the money never come.

Jessie2121

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Quote from: SmartGold01 on July 11, 2023, 10:04:13 AM

I supposed make this post for economy section but I see am say na we people here go real understand the post very well pass those people for that place. Just as my title take tok am

You wey be first daughter or Son, second and third to any number wey you be for your house, you don eva stay see say you don loose value for ur house onto say you no meet up with family needs or based on say you no dey job kon make ur old man or old woman to place value to ur sisters or brothers pass?
How you dey face the hit for ur family because those people wey be bread winner for their families fit understand the kind of regards them dey get for house based on say them dey always provide for the family pass their elderly brodas and 6tas. I don see some people wey be say for their family wey no balanced well base on say dem never get work or something to do kon make their parents pass the loves to their brodas wey supply the family.

As you get work kon dey bring money for the family how your papa or mama don reason ur matta, she don change or she still dey give special respect to your sister wey be odogu for house or every every don balance for balance for the family?

Well if you never experienced wetin I dey talk e mean say your old man hold money scatter because na only them wey no fit experience am. People wey their old man no hold money understand wetin I dey talk because e dey very frustrating to see say as woman them come carry ur mantle of leadership give ur junior 6sta or brodas onto say your face no show and ur shoe no shine for the house.

Abeg make we discussed respectfully to know wetin we dey pass tru as individuals, make we see people wey there mama remove the mantle give another person for family onto say she/him no fit assist the family as e supposed be.
How una see this kid matta for ur house?

Them say nah person wey wear shoe nai know where e dey pain am pass, if this thing never happen to anybody here I no sure say the person fit understand how e dey be for some of us wey e affect wella. E don happen to me when I finish school, house no too pure sotey my mama dy compare me with other people child, my dear make una no ever try that mistake for this life on any of una children, for people wey don born oh...But as e be like this no be every parents sabi wetin to take use as words of encouragement to their children but ones them see say Pikin "A" no dey solid for ground them go begin praise pikin "B" . To me oh I go say this matter no fit change as long as our parents dem don dey accustom to this behavior but hope dey, nah only we the future of tomorrow abi nah leaders of tomorrow nai fit change am in the sense that we no go do am to our children but encourage them tell them say e go better other than using offensive words and making them look small where their junior dey because say them they bring food for table and the senior no get to bring. Nah we go change that mentality no be our papa and mama because them don dy already soaked inside that yeye behavior, make una no vex say I call our parents behavior YEYE, e pain me when I remember wetin I pass through.

Doan9269

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Each family has it life curddles and that's the cross we are all meant to vear individually depending on the kind of family we found ourselves in, we cannot because of the challenges of what we sometimes faces in the family to neglect their roles and importance to human development in life, we are going to later depends on the family when we are having issues with life but we will always want to distant from them when we are ok without having life challenges.

Belarge

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On a normal day as a matured boy/girl for family, maybe as first son/daughter, you go happy say you just dey house and you no dey provide anything for una family?

I know say una answer go be No.

Make we dey sincere to ourselves, nobody go Happy say en no get monetary value for their family weda you be first child or other wise, e take the grace of God and family wey get fear of God to value such person in the family, na who dey provide for family Dem dey always place value on, e dey happen almost for all families, though e dey deh very painful shall, but na the truth I dey want talk.

For my area like this I know family wey be say the second son get money pass the first son by far, you need to see how the parents and siblings dey respect the second son, na the second son even build the family house wey all of them dey stay like this,
If Dem get family meeting and the second son never come, the meeting no go start, but Dem go fit hold meeting without first son, just because the second son dey and en get money.

Nai make most times as a first child you need pray and hustle very well, because for family now na who get money dey get respect and value for their family, e come matter your position in via birth...

Topic: Placing value in the family - page 2. (Read 782 times)