You can 'spell it out' until the cows some home, but your spelling out both false data and a highly incomplete/invalid interpretations.
You're better than the "what's an analogy?" guy, but what makes you believe that the data are false?
Vaxxed people have an equal or higher viral load [...] mumps vaccine failure scenario [...] mumps outbreaks in almost 100% vaccinated populations [...] Mumps is a nothingburger in terms of sickness.
If we are broadening the discussion from the Covid vaccines to vaccination in general, then again the data are perfectly clear. You're not going to argue the point on something like polio, surely? As for mumps, yes, generally effects are mild, but not always... it can lead to sterility, meningitis, pancreatic problems, etc. Death rate in the US (are you in the US?) was very low before the vaccine... now, with the vaccine, it is zero. So vaccine good, yes? How about the effects of other vaccines?
https://ourworldindata.org/vaccination#progress-against-vaccine-preventable-diseases-in-the-usMumps is also an interesting failure in that with MMR, all three had to show 95% efficacy for licensure. As the mumps component failed, Merck got increasingly desperate and tried every kind of lab trick to 'show' 95%. Ultimately they just penciled in numbers in the lab books and some internal whistleblowers came forward. Merck's trump card was a pocket full of politicians and regulators. Julie Gerberding went straight from CDC director to VP of vaccines at Merck when she got done with her 'public service'. Merck kept their highly valuable MMR franchise, and you, dear reader, have never heard of this little hic-up.
I suspect that some of our differences arise due to me living in a country where healthcare is provided free of charge. Companies are motivated by profit, yes. There is a revolving door between high political office and influential posts in business, yes, it's a huge problem, and I'm not disputing any of that. But at the same time, the effectiveness of vaccination as a general process is well understood, and the data on Covid are abundantly clear.