It sounds to me like you are creating your own definition of a life without the presence of God, not one that I have given you.
Actually, the "eternal pain and suffering" is the definition proposed by practically every preacher out there. Is hell, by your definition, just hanging out in the afterlife, doing the same thing you were doing in life, but without God's presense?
God never turns away from suffering, he offers comfort to those who pray to him and eternal salvation to those who wish it.
What is the "eternal salvation" specifically? And what kind of comfort is he really able to give other than make you think "it'll be OK?" I can think that without his help, so I'm wondering. Whether he offered comfort or not (I never really felt it), he never actually offered any solutions.
A girl who I thought was a friend took advantage of me and deceived me into doing something I knew later I didn't truly want to do. I didn't quite realize it at the time, I hope someday you come back into the light as well.
Ah, so someone else got a crush on you, you felt in your heart that it was OK, then your parents and church freaked out and told you that despite what you may have felt, it wasn't OK, and god hates that love, and now you got all freaked out about it and believed them too? Or was it just a girl who got a crush on you whom you never actually had feelings for, and her advances freaked you out to begin with? (You know, it's REALLY easy to pray to god to make the gay go away, succeed at it, and then fel righteous about it, when you weren't actually gay to begin with). Also, god said just as much about homosexuality as he did about interracial mariage (I.e. almost nothing). Your parents and your church are not... lying... to you, but what they claim regarding god and bible's claims on homosexuality is untrue. They just don't know it, because, like you, they have also been taught these lies. Think about this, if your "friend" got you to do that something, and in your heart you felt it was OK, and there were no parents or church to tell you otherwise, you likely would have continued to doing that with her, right? Now, why would god make you think that was OK, and not automatically make people know it was wrong, like how we know nasty smells or obnoxious noises are wrong? Why does it take another person or a church to teach us about something that is SO morally WRONG and sinfull? Wouldn't god have known that there would be millions of people who don't have the luxury of the church around who may accidentally fall victim to thinking this great sin is OK?Why didn't he make us know, in our hearts, that it is wrong?
My prayers already were, at some point though you need to take responsibility for your own actions. God doesn't always send a lightning bolt to save you, you have to trust in his love and guidance to show you the way.
So, were your prayers actually answered, or, did you just realize you have to take matters into your own hands to get things fixed? I don't really need to pray to work on making things better in my life. I also believe that the thoughts and ideas that I get about how to fix the things are my own, not god's. And, as I said, why is me praying for someone else never actually helped those others? Why are millions of prayers to stop homosexuality not slowing down the legalization of gay rights around the world? Why do gay people who pray for god to "fix" them never have those feelings taken away, and get exposed as still being gay? (Exodus International, a pray the gay away group, keeps having issues with their representatives being busted for doing gay things)
If you are not having homosexual sexual relations or giving in to your anthropomorphic pseudo-bestiality urges, you are simply expressing the love we should have for every fellow person, but I don't believe that is the case. Is it?
If you are loving everyone equality, then that love is meaningless, just as if everyone had $1,000,000, it would not make everyone rich. It's not love, it's at most just caring about people, and at least just a delusion you tell yourself to make yourself feel better. Have you, or have you not, been IN love before? Yes, I cared about others, and I loved my parents, but I was in love with only one person. The sexual relations are not important. I am able to express that love with gifts, flowers, emotional support, and companionship, and sexual relations are simply another way of expressing that love. For the two years that I was in love with that boy, we have not had any sexual relations, but it was a connection stronger and more compassionate than any other general "love" I experienced. Our love felt quite pure and innocent based on what the bible said. No different than the love between David and Jonathan, really. Yet, my bf's parents, and the whole world it seemed, condemned our love as something sick and terible (my parents didn't know). I guess I loved strongly enough to chose my love for that boy over the whims of the rest of the world, or even god himself. It felt stupid that god would punish or abandon me for chosing love. Do you believe that to be "in love" with someone means "to give yourself up sexually to them?" I hope not, because otherwise your relationships will be very painful.
