Immanuel, language is an artform. It can be simplified and still understood to some degree but carrying a complex message in a short amount of words is a talent, if not a gift. Some of us, myself included, are verbose to a point that writing seems inefficient. Much like a self-fulfilling prophecy, my lack of interest in writing stemming from its inefficiency prevents further writing practice that might otherwise deem corrective of the original issue.
Reading is great, but no matter your reading comprehension (which appears to be what most educated 17 year olds should be) your writing skills do not match your speaking skills. When I've talked to you on the phone I never had a problem with understanding you, as you typically spoke concisely, to the point, and didn't seem too preachy. I can only assume this is because you think significantly more while writing than while speaking. Thanks to my
INSERT REASON HERE I type more or less the same way I talk.
I have long since given up on trying to gain acceptance, if I had ever really attempted to do so in the first place.
As anyone can see from this sentence, you first claim you are seeking acceptance in an absolute fashion, then claim you might not have been. Contradictory statements are abound in your writing. I don't think anyone is arguing that you don't understand the definitions of certain words, or even that you can't speak English. I think we can safely assume here that the real issue is the same issue of all narcissistic 17 year olds-- trying to sound important by constructing sentences the way they see them in books, but failing at it for the simple reason that they haven't had enough practice at it yet.
Eventually you'll be great at it, but humility (or in the very least, acceptance) is necessary to grow into the type of writer that can grip their audience with prose with the same ease as most display in general chit-chat. You're not there yet, but trust me on this one-- we're all hoping you'll get there.
Case in point, changing your username doesn't help you get there any faster. It just turns off people who may have wanted to help you get there in the first place. I know you don't think you 'need' anyone, and you don't. You could master the English language all on your own (excluding the thousands of authors you'd need to read from), but it's so much easier when you have an environment where people can constructively criticize each other, accept the criticisms, start working to fix them, then display this growth as proof of not just their intellect, but of their history of growth as well.
The way you conduct conversations on this forum in combination with your constant username changes robs you of any of the benefits of education and experience-- unless of course your ultimate goal in language learning is to be able to communicate with yourself.
I think you might right. 
