hilariousandco just gave me a red trust regarding this post
I din't know letting out my feelings at that time would get me a red trust. the issue is about I have posted this just to get friends for my facebook profile. That profile is 3 or 4 years old I'm not sure when I created it and it has 800 friends on it. If I have only created this post to get new friends for my facebook profile is don't you think its kinda funny? If i want to increase my friends I can just spam friends request for it or buy it. I think it is not fair to get a red trust rating for the fact that a post on the off topic section not benefiting signature campaigns just for the purpose of letting out my feelings. For those who are wondering right now what has happened to me after I created this topic is that my sister came and talk to me and advised me to get some help from a psychiatrist but I insist that I'm not crazy enough for that and we had a little bit of argument because of it.
Well in the end she insist that she stays in my house for sometime just to keep watch over me. I know I might sound stupid for some but when my sister told me that I felt different. Knowing someone still care for you even though you have did so many things wrong in your life and feel like you don't deserve to live is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
And since hilariousandco has gave me a red trust I think I am not illegible anymore to signature campaigns anymore. I don't know if is a blessing or not since one of my relatives talked to me and asked me to join her in her work as well so as of now I am applying for a job at as a customer support service agent near in my town. And I hope to get accepted
As for everyone who replied helped me here your encouragements really helped a lot. At least I know there are people that din't even know me showed that they cared for me. I know that my problems about having suicidal thoughts are not full gone sometimes it still get into my head but I am fighting it as I want to move on from the experience that I have. since I am not using my real fb on that is link to my account (and going to remove)you wont be able to know who I really am (and also my real gender) so It's a good thing for it at least I can shared with you guys what happened to me that I still cannot get over with. When I was young I was raped by my friend at the age of 12 years old. I was young back then I was raised in a conservative family so things about sex is forbidden to talk about. then I we moved at a far place because my father had a fight with his siblings so he decided to stay away from them for good. then after settling in to our new home I met this boy let just called him boy A. He was a year older at me back then and he was nice so we get along very easily and since his family are members of a church our parents get along as well. then after some time he talks to me about stuff I don't know back then and that is the start of it. I may not tell the details of how I was raped but I know you get the gist of it. then it happened many times and after some time I found out that what he did is wrong. since I think that telling my parents about it they might kill me for the shame I will bring to the family If this thing comes out. So i kept it in my self up to now. since you don't know who I am I think it's safe to tell you about this. And that is the reason I don't trust somebody very easily and that kept bothering me even to this day.
I'm glad your still alive thank goodness, well anyways about your problem, it's really not you fault i think, your just so inocent back then so dont let your past ruin your future, and I know even your own parent will forgive you if ever tell them your situation, I know that its traumatic for you because you suddenly know that its bad, but I really dont consider it as a rape because he have your concent in doing it, the only problem is that you didnt know that its bad and now it haunting you, well consider it as a lesson that to never do such thing again, the guy only take advantage of your unawareness to those kind of things.