Topic: Tips on How to respond to family financial needs (Read 252 times)

I think the reason why this system exists mostly in Africa and Asia countries is because the government that pay citizens,  or even good amounts of allowance after retirement, so this make them to look up to their children for support.  It is nothing what people from this region can put a stop to it. Some parents are aware of this when they get old they will become a burden to their children and they make plans of setting an investment which will help them in old age.

i spent two years still giving money to my parentes when i moved with my wife, it was hard to make it

OP all what you've said is really what is happening in the lives of people and I use myself as a practical example, after I graduated from the university, I got a job and my parents had nothing tangible doing in other to earn a stable income so as I started working, I began to attend to the needs and demands of my family depriving myself of some personal life just to satisfy my family needs, i payed their debts and also provided food for them and my basic salary wasn't really enough for me to Carter for my family and also make some savings, so since i kept doing everything for them, they became lazy always waiting for the month to end so that they can demand money from me, the funny part was that when i lost the Job, all of them started asking me what i did with the salary i earned over the years, to my greatest shock I was astonished, like this people literally know how much i earn and they know the responsibility I've been involved in since i got the Job. I was so angry and bitter by that question they asked me so I made up my mind never to support them anymore when I get I new Job, but my people no matter anything, family is family as you can't really sideline them without giving them attention when you have the opportunity, so when I got a new Job, I still Carter for them but not with the kind of energy I showed during my first job as I was not attending to all their needs, I was doing some and saving money for myself.
So, it really isn't easy to completely neglect ones family when things are going well with you even if they didn't show concern to you when things were going tough for you.

This is a very valid point because family is the first support for any one and as long as you have your existence rooted in the family from the beginning,  mostly when we have to accept the responsibilities that come along with that, many times we have pointed to a direction at which we become selfish to think that family is becoming a burden on some people and their beginning to formulate approaches to avoid their family.
But then going further one needs a good approach also to deal with family at some point and not leaving yourself open to accommodate more responsibilities that you can bear will drag you backwards into the lack that you may not be able to even help yourself,  talk more to help another person.

The best way to respond to family financial needs is to be disciplined with your spending, be it with your immediate family or extended family. The truth is, respect the humble and diligent spender of money. Approaching your family with a pretend act is not the best way; rather, with an open mind, state the reason and the advantage behind your actions to them. Give them, but have a limit to which you respond to their needs. Learn not to overplay your role or do too extra much all the time, people will be fine without you, Unless it is your parents, which we need to honor every time because some of them really sacrificed a pot for us.

It is  only possible to hide money from them if you are living with them, you can't hide it because your standard of living will tell, for example in the night you on your generator. Even those cars u bought, they will see.

I agree with this. You're not a superhero although your family members are looking up to you as if you're one. You cannot help them at all times but as a family member, I know that the feeling is there and you can't resist helping them for every problem that they need to solve. You're not helping them even if the slightest problem that they deal with is going to be dependent on you, it shouldn't be like that.

You need to help them to survive on their own and that's why it's important that you shouldn't help them at all times. There are certain times that you have to help them because it is a matter of urgency but again, not all of the problems they need to face will get helped. Because if so, they'll be hoping for you at all times and can't stand on their own when needed.

Of all the tops you’ve mentioned about dealing with family financial needs, it will still depend on the type of family you come from. If all families are like this, the way you’ve just explained how to bypass them, it won’t make sense and nobody will want to help their family again.

Family is the first step in socialisation; they raised you and shaped you into the person you are today. If you're going to respond to a financial request, I believe your first line of action should be your family. I don't disagree with everything you've said, but your families will act differently than mine. What matters is that you can resolve the issue amicably.

Agreed with some of your views though but somehow it is looking as if you are setting the family against themselves when all the points are hinged on not showing up what you have or what to help with.

I was expecting to see that you would suggest that the bread winner should endeavour to raise another person in the family that will also be helping and raise another person and the family grows that way.

The right way to help someone is not to give them fish but to teach them how to fish so that they can choose to go to the river by themselves and make a choice on where and how to throw in their net. To build human capital and capacity is surely the best support to give the family.

The moment you stand to understand that you have responsibilities to stick to, then you will realize the shits of relenting and wasting of opportunities at any given time
Most times responsibilities energizes so one doesn't have to settle for less. You just have to utilize every useful of your times like you are not only hustling yourself but also the families.
Your parents has tried to bring you up right from the womb til you became an adult While they grows old and loosing energies to work further and keep taking care of the family.
So then Tou grows up you have to take the steering (control in-charge).
Before your parents depends on you, then you are either invested the families funds on to push you to a certain height were they finds difficult to get others on or you a just a gracious one.
The families Invested in you because they believed in you right from a certain promising period of you.
Yeah. It is frustrating where one in a numerous number of people in a family overloads one with one or two ways demands.
That personally causes development delays whereas one would always have a target but can't reach to it due to family demands.

Scaling through this situation is not to avoid your responsibilities with the family neither is it of ignoring them.
Of you are at a better position, you can also invest in some of the family members so to ease the load in you how as they could be independent to their selves.
I am not talking about the luxurious investment in them but how ever minimal.
You can invest in them either by sharing available opportunities, financially or offering recommendations to considering job offers.
You can put them on either weekly or monthly upkeeps budgets depending on your income ratei. This is so they don't get to distabilize your energy at inspirations or distabilizing your financial plans.
You can better keep a distance from them not because you want to create a bridge of relationship with them but you needed that undistractive moments at when you are active to chasing the rhythms to better life

Those parents or people that sees their relatives, children or family members as their immediate retirement plans are part of the sandwich generation. It's hard to change that idea when you're too old enough and don't have opportunities anymore or they're limited.

But as part of the new generation, you have to break the cycle from your family and it should start from you. I agree about not to be showy that you've got a lot of family.

You're always there as a support but don't be there at all times even with nonsense asking of financial need because that burden will be entrusted to you forever even you have your own family.

In some cultures, grown-up children are responsible for providing for the needs of their parents and siblings. You cannot run away from these responsibilities unless you decide to leave the country or hide from them. This is prevalent in poor nations where there are high rates of unemployment and low standard of living. As an individual, you cannot watch your parents or poor relatives die of hunger when you have money to support them. My mother is currently sick and I have to bear the cost of her medical bills because the government has no health scheme for senior citizens.

I have also learned not to burden myself too much with other people's responsibilities. One has to plan his life because the future is unpredictable. Currently, I have a budget that has funds allocated to cover the needs of my relatives. Once I exhaust the money in the purse, every other need will have to wait till the next month. I will not borrow or take a loan because of anybody's needs and I have to also save and invest for my future. So there is need to control your expenses to avoid regrets in the future.

These tips are not suitable for family. Where is the bond in the family if the family members begin to hide things and vital information from themselves? Family is all about sharing but if the financial burden is too much on whoever provides for the family, then other members of the family should as well be empowered to work and earn money too. Most times, people just get too entitled to other people's finances and want to be catered for from where they did not work from. If this is the case in your family,  it means they were not taught how to be responsible early enough, especially in matters that concern finance.

I do not know the approach that works for your family but every member of your family who can work should be encouraged to get jobs or businesses so the financial burden will lessen. While doing these for them, still support them in your little way because family will always be family.

This is mostly common in African countries where responsibility is most shifted to a particular person that they feel has a lot of money. It's not an easy situation when people know how much you're earning. You will find this sense of entitlement in them and when you are unable to make up with their demands, they will tag you as a bad and selfish person.

You've just said the whole truth when you said that one shouldn't allow his relative to know how much he is earning. Allow them to make assumptions and occasionally make complaints about how things are not always easy. People are looking for who they will drag down with them and as long as they feel that you are earning more than them, they feel you should be the one taking care of their bills.

Some will even go to the extent of giving birth to more children with the intention that you will take care of them with your funds.

I don't agree with your points it sounds stingy, firstly families with larger population and low income is as a result of ignorance and mostly illiterates are into this act, I will suggest in situations like this those rural areas need people to educate the local mothers on birth control.
There's nothing bad if  the parents count on the first child or second child.
Avoiding responsiblies sounds funny, you don't need to run from responsiblies the issue is when you can't afford your needs you can't afford someone else needs. It's not best to run after others needs cause no one can completely finish his/her needs.
Talking about the wealthy ones like the super rich it's best to find job opportunities for them, alot of rich men have influence so it's best to create a job for their younger ones

It can be difficult for a person to manage the expectations of their family members when it comes to financial matters. But if I think from my place to respond to the financial needs of the family, then I think that making a specific budget can determine the financial status and keep control over the financial needs. This budget should set out monthly income, expenses, savings, responsibilities and any money allocated for investments. To meet the financial needs of the family or to plan on basic expenses. If there is a previous loan, the repaid loan is reviewed according to the relative financial budget and if necessary, the loan is continued. Checking household weekly or monthly income and expenses. If I can think of ways to increase the monthly/yearly income requirements. Advancing based on the type and timing of investments if the situation arises. Above all, maintaining a healthy financial balance for oneself as well as managing family expenses and problems effectively. However, family is necessary for survival, family means a responsibility.

I can't help but agree with OP, although it's not proper to hide the Truth from our family members, but if you come from a poor background, then you must be very careful about how you announce your financial status. This is because the pressure on you to attend to the financial needs of family members will be overwhelming, you'll realize that in the process of trying to please every one of them, will probably make you poor like them. If you attend to the financial needs of some and leaves others, it'd surprise you that you'll create unnecessary enmity for yourself. So to avoid all the emotional hatreds, it's best not to let extended family members to truly know your financial position. Help family and friends financially, but never make the mistake of letting them know your true worth, otherwise the wicked ones will still be coming back for more, until they're sure that they've rendered you poor to be like them, then they'll mock you.

If you decide to employ this method to save yourself from family financial needs, I am sorry you’re taking the wrong step you shouldn’t have take to solve the problem. The family was your first home that brought you up and trained you to what you are today, so why neglecting their needs when you can afford to help. Forget the life of the social media, it is only your family that will stand for you when you’re in trouble. The true love lives there and you shouldn’t embrace it and care for them as much as they did for you before.

Its nothing but a crappy idea, if you want to teach your kid about financial responsibility then make them to feel the pressure but what you are suggesting is try to hide your status as much as you can not do any good but they will not get any benefit at all from this.

People from different parts of world have their own way or teaching them but the only goal is to give the knowledge that you gathered all the years in one way or another.

Agree with not showing giving people impression their is money,  atleast this will reduce the level of entitlements and will reduce the financial pressure financial pressure . But the facts is that we cannot run from family responsibility,  if things are going bad for family members it is hard not to respond when the money is available.  The important thing is to help with the amount you can afford and not to totally do anything about supporting family members.