I'm also beginner in trading. I trade since this summer and I lost about $90 on $120 account. Recently I make $20 on last $34.
Throughout my journey in trading, I read Jack Schwager's book, watched many educational videos on YouTube, read many articles on the educational sections of CEX exchanges, and also talked with many traders. It seems to me that I understand enough about technical analysis, trading systems and trader psychology.
All what you’ve mentioned is not enough to certify yourself as a trader. If you’ve learn all this things and you’re sure that you can control them while trading, you’re about becoming a better trader which will eventually continue in that manner until you become better than yesterday and win more that you use to than before. No one is a perfect trader or being, you’ll eventually encounter losses not because you’re not good at trading but because you cannot be always right and the market can be tricky at you without knowing. Just make sure you don’t stop trading and know how to manage your risk while trading.
Keep yourself focus, use small leverage to minimize loss so that you can come back tomorrow to continue learning. As you continue in that manner, you’ll learn new things daily and become better as time goes on. When you stop, it means you’ve giving up and you can never understand the basis of trading. Just make sure you invest what you can afford to lose. Losing is constant in trading just like profit is also constant when you’ve mastered the art of trading.
But I'm at a dead end and don't know what to do next. Other traders advised me to just trade, but I think that over time I will lose my remaining $45, and demo trading does not bring such emotions and I don’t want to try hard when trading it
Demo trading is basically for learning how to trade, it does not deal with emotions while emotions plays one of the vital role to become a good trader once you begin to trade using real account. You don’t trade when you’re in too much excitement and you don’t also trade when you’re angry. Only trade when you’re in your normal mood to be able to analyze the market using your fundamental and technical knowledge about the market. If you give up now, you’re at a dead end but since you haven’t yet; try and manage your risk to remain in the business of trading while allocating only money you can afford to lose into trading.