Every time I am out with a woman I will eventually steer the conversation into Bitcoin territory, explaining the nuances and subtleties of this saucy and sensual cryptocurrency that I'm involved with. As I describe the hours upon hours that I put into building and maintaining each individual mining machine and the intricate dance of skill and luck which ultimately dictates my overall hash rates, she inevitably casts a gaze into my eyes which tells me that she could not be more invigorated and enchanted if James Bond himself were sitting across from her, detailing his exploits from any given day... okay okay so you must obviously realize this is sarcastic and the reality is that I have not been touched by any woman for months and Bitcoin is simply ruining my life, it's not worth the cost which I pay for my sweet bitcoin success, because my genitals are now mutilated from all the times that I stick them in my CD-ROM drive tray, opening and closing the drive to punish myself and to bask in the anguish and shame of this pitiful predicament. There was even one day which found me in a particularly vulnerable state, in which I stripped down to complete nudity and tea bagged my processor's heatsink and fan. After running Super Pi for an hour or so, I very carefully lowered my sack down towards the fan until finally one of the spinning blades caught hold of my junk, twisting it around until it became jammed, pinning my nuts against the piping hot copper heatsink which consequently singed the scrotum like a branding iron, indeed the marks are still visible to this day. After shrieking like a pathetic, nubile little schoolgirl while all this was happening, eventually I tore my toasted sack out of the mangled remains of the heatsink fan and slowly shrunk down to the floor, into the fetal position, where I spent the rest of the day quietly weeping to myself.
Does anybody else share these feelings and experiences? I've often wondered whether or not I am alone in this.
Where is that damn "Like" button when you need it!!! LOL
. You're making it sound like a queer old porno now. 
