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Topic: You have 2 cows. - page 2. (Read 2978 times)

legendary
Activity: 938
Merit: 1000
What's a GPU?
April 01, 2013, 04:56:12 PM
#11
Haha thanks for this thread Tongue
hero member
Activity: 532
Merit: 500
FIAT LIBERTAS RVAT CAELVM
April 01, 2013, 04:51:05 PM
#10

You have 2 cows
Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows
You are dead

Hmm, now what is this? Grin
A crime.
hero member
Activity: 728
Merit: 500
April 01, 2013, 04:48:26 PM
#9

You have 2 cows
Your neighbor comes kills you and takes your cows
You are dead

Hmm, now what is this? Grin
legendary
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
You are WRONG!
April 01, 2013, 04:30:40 PM
#8
Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.

Nice!

Cyprus:
You have two cows.
The government takes your cows.
When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered.
In return, they give you a hamburger with horse.
fixed!
hero member
Activity: 532
Merit: 500
FIAT LIBERTAS RVAT CAELVM
April 01, 2013, 04:29:49 PM
#7
Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.

Nice!

Cyprus:
You have two cows.
The government takes your cows.
When you ask where the cows are, you are told they were slaughtered.
In return, they give you a hamburger.
member
Activity: 85
Merit: 10
April 01, 2013, 04:24:44 PM
#6
Bitcoin: You have two cows, nobody really understand how they work but you'll have to shut down every farm in existance in order to shut that cow down. And if you forget their names, they'll seize to exist forever.
hero member
Activity: 784
Merit: 1000
0xFB0D8D1534241423
March 31, 2013, 10:46:22 PM
#5
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
That was unexpected Cheesy
sr. member
Activity: 354
Merit: 250
March 31, 2013, 10:33:34 PM
#4
VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

legendary
Activity: 1450
Merit: 1013
Cryptanalyst castrated by his government, 1952
March 31, 2013, 04:56:51 PM
#3
Nice modern spin on an old joke! I love the VENTURE CAPITALISM

Suggested ism additions: Catholicism, terrorism, and of course libertarianism. Perhaps McCarthyism for the nostalgic.
legendary
Activity: 1078
Merit: 1003
March 31, 2013, 04:30:42 PM
#2
Quote
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

Too funny Grin
legendary
Activity: 1050
Merit: 1000
You are WRONG!
March 31, 2013, 04:18:43 PM
#1
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
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