Shitcoin Tycoon: A Text Misadventure.
You are at January 2014. Darkcoin is launching.
You can mine it right now just like everyone else.
What do you want to do now?
> IGNORE DARKCOIN
Time passes...
The Darkcoin gold rush has arrived.
You hear tales of great riches, adventure and invention in the world of anonymous coins.
A million shitcoins have arrived.
> INVENT
You don’t know how to do that.
> INVENTORY
You have 2 faces.
You have 10 sock puppets.
You have no conscience.
> LOOK
You are beneath Evan’s feet. Evan’s shoes are here.
DarkSend is way over your head.
> FILL SHOES
You can’t fill Evan’s shoes.
> STEAL DARKSEND
You can’t do that, yet.
> ENTER BITCOINTALK
It is dark here. You are in a world of spam.
You are surrounded by stupidity, broken promises & tears.
Some dumb trolls are here.
Some copypaste donkeys are here, eating paper and shitting shitcoins.
> BUY DONKEY
You feed $50 to a copypaste donkey.
The ass makes you a shitcoin.
> GET PAPER FROM DONKEY
You pull a white paper out of your ass.
> BUY TROLLS
You pay 0.1 shitcoins for 1000 trolls.
> SAY ANONYMOUS
You get some attention.
> USE MEANINGLESS BUZZWORDS
You get more attention.
> USE SOCKPUPPETS
You pump shit with your socks.
You attract a crowd.
> USE TROLLS
Everyone feeds your trolls, drawing attention to your shitcoin.
Your shitcoin is now in a bubble.
> TAKE DUMP
You are now rich in bitcoin.
Your shitcoin is now worth shit.
The shattered dreams of your faithful believers are here.
> GET BITCOINS FROM CRYPTSY
Some hackers are here, with your bitcoins.
> TAKE LIFE
You don’t have a life.