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Well first of all, the deposits are not forced to be any size. The software allows custom deposits and guarantor contracts (unliateral). Also there is a reputation system built in you can easily scan to see if a merchant blows up a lot of contracts and mathematically calculate their risk. Eventually some people would be
so trusted their deposit would be nominal if anything.
Also I think you are misunderstanding the theory behind double deposit (you are almost there).
If Bob puts in 1200 and Lisa puts in 250, they can both agree to cancel, Bob would get everything back all 1200 and Lisa would get back 250. If he received the item he would have to ship it back.
If Bob wasn't a power buyer Lisa would never allow such a low deposit... if he was a n00b she would require 1000 advance payment and 1000 deposit. She being a power seller would as you say be allowed to put less than 1000 (potentially 250) and that is only if Bob consents to the contract!
So sure, if Bob was a jerk, he could pay $200 extra which is why the buyer would be putting up more collateral in this scenario unless he has purchase 1000s of items.
There are no weaknesses to this system in my opinion. First of all, nobody with an ounce of sense would blow up their own money out of spite. Bob and Lisa are forced to work together, if they don't the both lose the ENTIRE escrow. Nobody gets it. There are no partial refunds. This mitigates the risk of extortion. Besides in a dispute the only ones who know the "truth" is the victim, the perp and potentially god.
Also the users know the risk of the counter party going into it. Being unreasonable is what I hope some users try... because only the unreasonable and deceptive deserve poverty. We are trying to flip the world upside down and make a contract that only favors honest people.
When you start to involve 3rd parties, they are biased. Here is my analogy. Let us say you were on trial for murder... would you trust a 12 random strangers you never met and a prosecutor and a judge to fairly decide the truth? Especially if they weren't there? NO WAY.
The modern system is broken, totally reliant on human error. This just streamlines the process. Punishments are built in. That isn't to say you may not have grounds to pursue your vengeance further if things blow up. But the point is the incentive for deception or theft is (almost) completely eliminated.
What do you mean by "prove" or "truth" the whole point is, you can't prove she sent a laptop. She could have sent a box of rocks... we are in this "big brother" society that wants to do the impossible (control every micro-action of everyone). What is the post office going to gut and inspect every package? What a waste of manpower when this system solves the problem inherently.
If a moderator would be allowed to decide who gets what then its not a fair system. Then moderators could pay themselves. This is the problem with Open Bazaar and SYS mods could simply collude and steal funds I can't fathom why anyone would think this is okay. Currently escrow theft accounts for almost 50% of stolen bitcoins (if you count exchanges)... and even without counting exchanges hundreds of millions of dollars in BTC stolen. This is because people are trying to use a trusted escrow in a trustless environment.
Add into the mix that business is INTERNATIONAL and there is no way you can do a deal with someone in China if you are from Nigeria unless both of you have something to lose for lying. Even trying to sue someone across countries is a waste. Not to mention it forces a jury + judge and hundreds of other people to get out of bed to moderate your problem. Everyone wants to plea to big daddy to come in and help them when all they need to do is help themselves.
If there was a customer service not only would that expose us to a tremendous liability but would also force us to guess. Since when in society did people forget that they are their own best judge in the case when they have been wronged? Include the risk you think you run before dealing with a counter party.
This is why the DEFAULT contract requires deposits equal to the value of the item... the system wants to give you the best protection possible. And yes this can scale after you have done 1000s of deals on the platform. Or perhaps you do some KYC and you really trust the buyer then sure go ahead and send them a custom contract. We already do this for cash buyers (Craig and myself) and some of the other coins for cash sellers.
Also I think eventually there may be companies willing to offer insurance on deals. That in my opinion would be the best of both worlds, you pay an insurance provider a small fee out of the TX and are required to simply document the deal and they will honor a claim under certain conditions (a package was lost, someone died, etc)
And by the way, thanks for the discussion I really love it when people take an interest in DDE.